Ultimately
I'm mad at myself
for believing
I could have
someone as lovely
as you.

I could have loved you like
a meadow
(forgiving and resilient,
fluttering with your every
word)
but you only wanted a small
amount of solice from
the wreck in your body and
your heart couldn't be
big enough
(couldn't be
soft enough)
for everything I was
willing to hand over to
it.
I don't think I'll ever stop
trying to give every piece
of me to people who
aren't ready to take it but if I have
to continue I would prefer to give
all of it to you. I'm so
scared
to
settle
but, god, if I'm
going to settle anywhere
I would want it to be
wherever you are.

We are told that monsters only appear in our dreams,

And that they could never really hurt us.

To be safe we keep the light on hoping that will keep them away

But what about the monsters who come when you’re not asleep

The ones who hurt you over and over

And no amount of light will keep them away

You only want
what you want
and I can only
give you what
you allow me.
But, god, I
have so much
more to offer.