Your heart is so genuine but
I feel like you aren't letting it
talk as much as much as it
needs to. I wasn't ready for
the sensitivity training that
comes with knowing your
insides but I like it and I
know I touch you a lot but
that's only because sometimes
I need to remember that I have
you. So please stop burrowing
into your blanket and come
burrow into me instead. I
promise I'm warmer and I
promise I smell better (although
your side of the bed is a
smell I could stay in forever)
and I swear I'll rub those
little circles into your hand
the way you like. Just please
let me be near you.

I'm trying to figure out what
lie to tell you (I was sick I
worked late I lost track of
time) because I don't know
how to tell you it made me
physically ill to think I
would have to sit and watch
you be red-faced and in
love and about to start this
brave journey with a girl
who isn't me.

i get tidal waves of missing you,
after only a couple of hours.
the waves are strong and demand attention,
and i have to find a little clip or picture of you
laughing, or smiling, or talking,
simply just being
so the water will calm down
and stop drowning me in segmented thoughts of everything about you,
if only for a couple more days .

To W. R. B.

And so, to you, who always were
Perseus, D'Artagnan, Lancelot
To me, I give these weedy rhymes
In memory of earlier times.
Now all those careless days are not.
Of all my heroes, you endure.

Words are such silly things! too rough,
Too smooth, they boil up or congeal,
And neither of us likes emotion --
But I can't measure my devotion!
And you know how I really feel --
And we're together. There, enough . . .

I wasn't prepared for your
kind of love. It made my
hands burn and my teeth
throb and my chest could
never fill all the way with
your smell- like cigarettes
and toothpaste and old
spice- and sometimes I
think I can feel you but
I'm always
      always
      always wrong and it's
never you. And I think
maybe that's okay.

Every time I hear your name my heart jumps
Into my throat. And when I think of you
my heart cracks a little more and I
can’t help but remember the agony
of losing you, has it really been eight  
Years? It feels like yesterday you were here
But now I find myself searching for your
face in everything. You would be nineteen,
Off at college ready to start your life.
Instead I struggle each day to bring up
My memories of you. Was it me or

You who told that joke? I can’t remember now
The feeling of staying up laughing
our heads off till three AM will never
leave me. I sometimes pray that by the morning I
will have forgotten everything and the
pain will have melted away, but how could
anyone wish to forget you? There are
no answers for why you are gone, some things
must stay as questions. now days blur into
weeks, months, years and I’m still here and your not
and every time I forget and try to
call you, it will be the same terrible
realization like every time, that
no one will answer and I’ll be back where I started,
trying to remember, to put the pieces
together and once again pick myself
up, thank you for your friendship, I will hold
you in my heart forever because that’s
how special you became to me. So, this
is my farewell to you,
                                    Goodbye my friend