Lately I've been trying
to tell you in long
words what you do
to my insides but none
of it makes any sense,
so maybe it's just that
my pen isn't quite working.
There's no poetic way
to tell you I run your
name on the record player
in my head over and over
until I'm dizzy with the
sound of it. There used
to be more to your song
but we hit a bump and
something got scratched,
so now it just sings
"Ryan Ryan Ryan Ryan"
without me knowing
how to stop it. In stereo
my heart beats
thumps
says
"I love you, I love you,
I love you"
in your roughest voice-
the one you have at 3 am,
that you have in all my
best memories of you.