it's been one hell of a year
I've worn the seasons
under my sleeves
on my thighs
and running down my cheeks
this is what surviving looks like

it's been one hell of a year
I feel this next one will
be full of
surprises around
every curve
and that's why I'm scared
this is what being alive is like

it's going to be a hell of a year
there's so much to do
so much I've done
and I don't know
what to expect
but im excited
this is what being better is

a promise of a better future
*guaranteed if you work for it

you crept through the walls
in my heart and you
tore it open with your picky
little fiddling fingers
oh god how could you?
~
you snapped the little piece
of me id looked after
so carefully for all of these
years and now look where
we are, how could you?

dance me to the moon
run away with the thoughts
that tangle your hair with a
power so great and mighty
that you can't think of anything
else

this close to you i can see
the purple blemishes beneath
your eyes, the web of dark blood
vessels in your eyelids. you shrug
and practically tremble away from
me with a grimace

i don't want any more of your drippy
voice until you've got something that
is actually worth saying. It's like
you're cranking a drill in-between
my eyes and it's tearing me apart
with so much pain.

kiss me on my blackened soul as we fall
softly for each other as we are wrapped
in this embrace holding a little tighter
than would be comfortable to anyone
else

love me tenderly, kiss away the pain
of a thousand days when you weren't
there, i want to cover my eyes before
the dark returns and crushes all of
us
[i.k]

your bones aching, fragile, breakable. awkward, not so gentle reminders that your body has no time for you, that your body didn't ask for you. you, the pathetic, moronic ghost that hides in the shadows of houses, who pretends to be someone completely impossible while expecting people to believe the pretenses you shove towards them, are utterly insane, yet blissfully unaware of the insanity. and it is beautiful, in a way beyond imagination, yet not a single soul understands the pain and sheer terror that once racked through you as you drowned in icy thoughts*
[i.k]

although you are very
small and your kind have
existed in the universe
for only a short time,
you are an important part
of something very large
and exquisitely beautiful