Have you ever seen someone in so much pain
something in their face looks like they are on fire?

I am in love with a burning man

Do you feel this in your heart

I cut my veins open so you could stitch yourself into them

And all you got from trying to steal that gargoyle statue
last semester was a cracked spine

I like to kiss the insides of your hip bones

I like to trace my tongue along the surgery scars

And run my fingertips along the space where
your bellybutton should be

You are a burning man
All intensity
Looking in your eyes reveals a fire

You drink liquor like its water
and always have a few pills ready to be crushed

Then again, so do I

I guess that’s why when we were listening to
Morrison in my friends back seat
I took my $2 bill and snorted a line straight to the brain

And she whispered
“you two are a match made in heaven”

And I guess we are
If we believed in all that

Personally, when I die I want to go to hell

Because Hell is where you always seem to be

I’m sorry I drank your bottles of tequila
but you left me by myself the whole summer
with a broken heart and a ****** job and an empty house

you left me rattling in the wind
you left me like bones in a ditch

you left me with a drawer full of drugs
and smoke coming out of my pores

you left me trying to bleach my bones with the sunlight

and when you came home after 4 months of me destroying myself
and you found me in a drugged slumber with a cigarette in my hand

you threw the now empty bottles at the wall
and the shards are still there
cutting themselves in the glare through the window

but what did you expect
I'd been hearing things from people that i don't wanna talk to
like it matters who you're sleeping with now

Yes
The shards of glass are still embedded in the wall
You are still embedded in my heart

And here's me
Smoking a cigarette in your sweatshirt

And there's you
Anywhere but here

"I love you" should not be used as a choke chain
it should not bring you crawling back

You should have no Master

Anyone who says love hurts has been on a leash
I am no different
I too have marks around my neck

If you really want to hurt me do not call me
***** or sadist or selfish

If you really want to hurt me add a razors edge
when you whisper that I am
undeserving and weak

Pour salt on my pillow when you approach my sleeping form
and tell me I am not
mysterious or interesting

And I’ll pretend I was asleep the entire time
Another incident of hate put to rest with my sleepy head

And when I leave in the morning you will put the collar laced with lies around my neck

But love is about appreciation not possession
and you have never loved nor owned me

I want to brush my teeth until my mouth forgets your name
and I know I shouldn’t feel the way I do

and I’m sitting by my phone waiting for it to ring
I’ve been here for three hours and nothing yet

I’m painting my nails purple in hopes of brightening
my ever decreasing levels in spirit

you want to know how I got these scars?

I fought a few demons
and i got locked in my closet with your skeletons as well as mine

you know you make my eyes burn

and I’ll never let anyone break me

I tried to poison your pictures

I stuck pins in a doll I made of you

I don’t want to be my mother and sit in my room on Sundays
with the door shut and blinds drawn
and use a headache as excuse of heartbreak

I loved you so hard I would wake with bruises and bandages

My dreams turned into nightmares that started with beauty
and ended in blood

I put my hands on you and they came away burnt

You are a fire

And open pyre and my touch was the kerosene

I'm sorry that I'm not your Prince Charming
The knight riding in with armor shining
I'm sorry I'm not your superhero
Carrying you up from the ground below
I have tried so hard to drop my guard
And open my hands to hold your heart
But it isn't mine to hold
There will come one to guard your soul
One to stand up for you strong and bold
The one made to hold your hand
And I am sorry that I'm not him.

You would tell me you loved me only when I was on you
We had *** in the street once at 2 am
Warm asphalt under our skin

You would moan that you loved me as you came inside me
I wonder if you noticed I never told you I loved you
unless we were fully clothed

The first time I told you I loved you
we were eating homemade peach ice cream
and you were wearing your favorite red jacket
and we were talking about the planets at 8 pm by a hidden pond

The first time you told me you loved me
you were wearing crumpled plaid boxers around your feet
and we were writhing in the back seat of your tinted jeep at the park

The last time you told me you loved me
we were in my bed at 3 am running from the police
and you were in my mouth trying to create a victory that involved
me swallowing

And its funny that way

I was always swallowing bits and pieces of you
and even now I seem to be constantly on the verge of regurgitating memories and moments I thought had long since been forgotten

They say if you love someone, let them go

I let you fly like a paper airplane across a classroom
and you haven’t returned yet