AJ - Hello Poetry

AJ Oct 2013

I was like ice floating on water.
At first I was above it all.
I knew what would happen.
As time went on
I fell apart.
I melted under pressure.
I faded into the crowd.

AJ Oct 2013

Second Chances, Maybe Third...Fourth...Fifth.... Sixth Chances.

I'm so sorry, baby.
I didn't mean to leave you.
I wanted to stay I really did, baby.
I'm back now, baby.
I promise.

I'm so sorry, baby.
I know you needed me.
I just felt like I wasn't good for you, baby.
I made you sad, baby.
I just wanted to help.

I'm so sorry, baby.
I felt like you were ashamed.
You hid me from everyone, baby.
Like I was evil, baby.
Why did you do that if I wasn't so bad?

I'm so sorry, baby.
I thought that I was hurting you.
I didn't mean to leave a mark, baby.
I didn't mean to make you cry.
I'll try not too, anymore.

I'm so sorry, baby.
I just felt like you were using me.
You only came to me when you needed cheering up, baby.
We were happy when we were together, baby.
You were so sad after.

I'll never leave again, baby.
Even if you can't tell your family and friends.
I'll comfort you again, baby.
I'll make it okay, baby.
I promise I'll stay forever.

My blades.
It's not an addiction.
I promise.
It only leaves a few scars.
That's not too terrible a price to pay,
Is it?

AJ Oct 2013

It's Not Cold Enough for Me to Be This Cold

Everyone on my floor is drunk.
And loud.
And I live near an airport.
And that's loud.
And I'm coughing up blood.
And I did too many drugs.
The odds are that I will probably be alright.
Nothing to worry about.
Another line to write another line.
Thank you spell check,
*****,
And a good episode of Parks and Rec
For making this write possible.

AJ Oct 2013

Son XIV

We've got ourselves into quite a nice daily routine.
My little ghost boy and I.
Collin wakes me up in the morning with his squirming
He is only four, so you can imagine how early that is.
He eats some cheerios and an apple.
I got to my classes for the day and work,
And Collin plays with his fore mentioned friend, Jordan.
I make Collin something for lunch,
And we practice reading and writing.
We watch some Arthur or Dragon Tales
We run some errands
He has some ghost pasta or vegetarian hot dogs,
Or anything really, for dinner.
And we tell stories till it's time for him to go to bed,
And time for me to write my essays
And do my calculus.
And then I hold my sleeping ghost baby
And rock him back and forth
So that my life doesn't feel so useless.

Other stories about Collin can be found in the collection "Son", which you can find if you look in the notes down below.

AJ Oct 2013

Memories From The End of Infinity

Kicking and screaming.
Just leave me be.
Please stop.
Take my innocence.
I don't care anymore.
Just go away.

Now I'm Kicking and screaming
Just leave me be.
Let me die.
Forget me and move on.
I can't do it anymore.
Just let me die.

White Walls
White Thoughts
Close Your Eyes
But Don't Get Caught

AJ Oct 2013

Aaaaah

I was going to write this poem
On anxieties and procrastination.
But then I decided to write it later.
But that really freaked me out.
So here it is.

AJ Oct 2013

I Don't Have Enough Pride in Myself to Ever Be Ashamed

What can I say?
Nie wiem.
I guess I've never been too good at anything.
Rolling around in my sleep
And making sure I can't eat normally.
That's about all I've done.
I've broken many hearts just for sport.
And I break my own so I can hurt.
At least that means I can feel.
I had the chance once.
I was so close.
Like I said
What can I say?

I had the blade in my hand
Don't be scared, act like a man.
Could've sliced the tie that keeps me here
With selfhatred, Mia, and constant fear.