Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
AJ Aug 2013
I'm currenty somewhere between
Emotionally void
And too emotional.
It's not just OCD, or depression, or anxiety.
Or what everyone else thinks I have.
Just, you know,
ASPD.
Ha.
It makes me laugh.
**** yourself.
I need therapy again,
And I'm so jealous of those who can afford it.
I need meds,
And I'm so angry at those who can get it.
I know I need help.
But when you act out or ask for help
And all you get is silenced
Because it means your parenting is week
Because you care how it affects someone else instead
Because it is too much for you too handle
Because you'd rather I fix you,
Then I'm not going to get better.
Do you know how I solve it alone?
Razors and safety pins to make it dull,
Nyquil and Tylenol PM to get some rest.
***** and **** to medicate the main problems,
And binging and vomitting to get the physique back.
Maybe I don't need help.
This seems to be working pretty.
Well, only if pretty well means not at all.
AJ Aug 2013
Confession time,
Where's my priest?
When I was little I had it all planned out.
"In the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit, Amen.
It has been six months since my last confession and these are my sins."
I fought with my family.
I swore.
And I lied.
That is what I said for seven years.
I loved to throw a wrench in the machine.
When I was fourteen I added in a little tid bit to my routine.
"I am gay".
It was the longest pause I had ever heard.
And then it went completely ignored.
How rude of me to try and provoke you, father.
AJ Aug 2013
How fun was it to watch the big men
In the very white suits
Drag away all of your lost boys?
You grabbed Tinker Bell and I,
And you flew away.
They shut down Neverland.
There were no adults to pay the rent.
You're twenty-*******-two, Peter.
Why didn't you pay the rent?
Where are you going to go now, Peter?
Do we get married,
You, Tink, and I?
Are we polygamists now?
You'd rip her to shreds,
She's the exact size of my foot.
She's a ****.
You love her more, I can tell.
And I don't care.
What do we do now, Peter?
I put all I had into your dreams,
I don't even my have dreams anymore.
Where do we go from here, Peter?
Captain Hook doesn't even care anymore.
WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.
This is pathetic.
Do we get desk jobs,
A house in the suburbs,
A dog named Spot,
A Mazda?
**** it Peter.
I trusted you.
I don't want a ******* Mazda.
You promised we wouldn't grow up.
You're twenty-*******-two.
.....So am I.
AJ Aug 2013
I was a twin,
Only my twin was a year and a half younger than me.
Her name was orange,
And she hated everyone.
She was also a cat,
But that is not important information.
I used to feed her yogurt.
And throw her down the slide with me.
We were real hood *******,
Manda and her kot.
We both had blue eyes, red hair, and devilish smiles.
We ruled the world from the top of the swing set,
But she froze to death in a snow storm when I was five.
Now I rule it by myself.
AJ Aug 2013
We're all walking cliche's,
So what's the big deal?
I can  wear a beanie and a gay pride tee shirt and moccasins,
And listen to Neutral Milk Hotel,
And talk about feminism and politics.
Do not kiss me with your mustang convertible and your ****** piercings.
I am a taken woman.
But I will take your free drugs.
Thank you very much.
Stop mourning me,
My arrogance should never have been a turn on.
Pretzel crisps, tattoos, and student loans.
It's hard walking down the boulevard of broken dreams,
And bumping into all the other lonely souls.
AJ Aug 2013
Collin got a little upset today.
I got two tattoos at a tattoo parlor today,
And he got scared.
I let him sleep in the backseat of the car,
And I let him eat some cookies,
Only because they weren't real.
They were ghost cookies,
There's only ghost sugar in them.
That does no harm at all.
He did steal a few sips of my coffee though,
That was an absolute nightmare.
Four year olds cannot handle coffee.
Such a handful.
Collin is on the ceiling.
Other stories about Collin can be found in the collection "Son", which you can find if you look in the notes down below.
AJ Jul 2013
Collin behaved very well today.
He went in the pool,
And learned to blow bubbles underwater.
It was easy for him though,
Ghosts never sink.
"I only float, mama.
Look at me floating."
He tells me.
Yes baby,
You only float.
You're doing great.
He ate pasta salad,
With no mayonnaise.
He is allergic to mayonnaise.
It gives him hives.
Oh Collin.
Other stories about Collin can be found in the collection "Son", which you can find if you look in the notes down below.
Next page