Why do we inflict,
So much pain,
On strangers,
On those we love,
Is it so hard,
For us to see,
The consequences

We fall from conciousness,
To emptiness,
Endless circles,
Of confusion,
Trapping and compressing,
Confining us,
We are inconsequential,
To the course,
Of loneliness

I'm the girl with the scars,
With the blade in her fingers,
Blood and brittle bones,
The girl with the bruises,
With the troubled mind,
Darkness in excess,
I'm the girl without light,
The broken one,
The dying one,
I'm a girl,
I'm a mess

Death shadows,
Over the empty house,
He looks upon,
The girl and the gunshot wound,
Through her ivory temple,
Spattered beautifully,
With fresh, crimson tears,
He witnesses her,
Breathing for the last time,
Before he takes,
Life from her discarded body,
And hears her last thought,
Echoing within the dark room,
He listens as she wonders:
*How will he find out?

There was a girl,
And a monster,
He was not scary,
As you might think,
He was kind,
Unimaginably so,
Gentle and cautious,
He dwelled on the negative,
The scars within him,
The makings of the monster,

But the girl saw,
Past the blood and bruises,
And inside there was a boy,
A broken boy,
He seemed scared,
Of something,
Of nothing,

She prayed,
Day and night,
That he would shed the scars,
And see,
There was no monster at all,
It took months,
Weeks,
Days,
Seemingly forever,
They were breaking,
But she wouldn't give up,

It was raining,
The black sky thundered,
On the day,
The monster died,
The girl gave him,
A mirror,
Cracked and framed,
In red rust,
He looked inside,
And the monster found,
The boy

I stare at the girl,
In the mirror,
I wonder why she cries,
So often,
And where the brightness,
That was once in her eyes,
Has gone,
She asks me why,
These things keep happening,
She can't comprehend,
Why she feels so alone,

This isn't what she wanted

Life was a struggle,
Confusion and misunderstanding,
An unanswered question,

Life was safe,
Cautious and quiet,
An unopened book,

Flowers did not bloom,
They remained withdrawn and hidden,
Rivers never met oceans,
Never explored the sea,

There was fear;
Fear of knowing,
Fear of seeking,
Fear of finding,

It was unexplored,
Left as is,
Unchanging,
Undoubted,
Unquestioned,

But then there came a change,
A question,
A challenge,
A desire for knowledge,

And then life changed,

The flowers flourished,
One by one,
The rivers reached oceans;
Discovered new seas,

Fear began to fade,
There was nothing to fear,
Once there was knowledge,
Once life sought and found,

It was searching,
Learning,
Growing,
Changing,
Questioned,
Challenged,

­Now life can grow,
Change,
Live without fear,
Face the challenges,

In this new world,
There is exploration,
There is knowledge,
There is a new sun,

The birds can fly,
They can spread their wings,
Take to the sky
*And be free . . .

Would you ever think
anything like this
could lie beyond
such a convincing smile.
Did you ever see
what was hiding behind
the silence?
Could you feel the cold
beneath the illusion;
the lie of living
never fails.

Out the window,
Sunshine, far away,
The humble branch of the blossom tree,
Peeks in to witness my lonely slumber,

I wake at the sound,
Of the fragile harmonies,
That of the Nightingale,

She sings a home-sick melody,
As the moon falls,
Leaving her in his wake

Barren desert sands,
Of white and gold grains,
Graveyards of broken shells,
Abandoned in the moonlight,
Watching the newly destroyed,
Be delivered from the crashing waves,

Beyond dawn,
Ignorant footprints settle,
On the scorching dunes,
Unknowingly disturbing the ocean's sleeping souls

I'm memorising the subtleties
of your voice, the curve of your smile,
the warmth of you on my skin;
trying to put into words
the way everything fades around you
when I look into your eyes.

It feels like dreaming,
When he sheds the lies,
And bleeds the colours,
Of truth,
A dream imprinted,
Permanently etched,
In my subconcious,
That settles on the surface,
Above any and every other moment,
The perfection,
Of honest imperfection,
So sincere and delicate,
Is all I ever needed

Such a soft sound,
Is rain,
Disguising tears,
That fall just as heavily,
And to lie,
Carefree under the downpour,
Droplet after droplet,
Soaking your clothes,
Washing away thoughts,
As if the gentle rain,
Could purge the lonely world,
Of darkness

There's no fire to be started
with paper matches,
but the real thing
sets the whole house alight.
It all goes up in smoke;
burning up your books
and shattering your windows,
so that your safe space
is no more.

I think the reason,
I don't fight anymore,
Is because every time I did,
They told me to give in,
And somewhere along the way,
I listened

Clouds befall the canvas,
Of the black, starry night,
Your voice,
A gentle harmony,
Playing on the wind,
The horizon falls from focus,
Matched with the flutter,
Of restless eyes,
The silence of the night,
Finds me back beside you

Lying awake,
In my safe, warm bed,
Aching to surrender,
To sleep,
But fighting to stay,
Awake, thinking,
For thought, by far,
Is a sweeter indulgence,
Than the comfort,
Of unconciousness

The truth is,
Nobody cares,
Who you are,
Or what you think,
They only see,
What they want to see

Never have I remembered,
Happiness,
Real Happiness,
Under your overwhelming authority,
The seeds of Joy,
Have failed me,
Left me cold and hopeless,

You over-power loving memories,
With sharp, hateful remarks,
I doubt your passion,
I doubt your sympathetic words,
Rare as they are,

I look up to you,
As every other child looks up to their parents,
But I do not see pride or love,
In your eyes,
I see bitterness,
Seeping through the kind gaze,

When others look to you,
They may be blind,
But I have seen the ice,
Beyond the friendly charade,

It will never leave my mind,
This heart-wrenching memory

Chain smoking our way,
Through the days,
His hands,
In all the right places,
The world means nothing,
It all means nothing,
Collisions of emptiness,
Just to feel something,
So he puts his hands,
In all the wrong places,
To make it right,
'Til the world means nothing,
We mean nothing

Just be still,
And we shall observe,
The tragedy,
Oh, the tragedy,
Of this beautifully cruel world

This is not a house filled with love,
Nor hope,
Respect does not reside here,
In this house,
The doors are closed to happiness,
The windows block out tenderness,
This house does not hold joy,
Or welcome laughter,

This house is consumed by depression,
Controlled by unbalance and deceit,
Conquered by dishonesty and lies,
Built on the foundations of mistrust,
Holding nothing but pain and misery,
This house is not a home,
But a prison of despair

I love you.

And I don't mean that like I'm on my way out to work,
leaving a kiss on your cheek, coming home for dinner.

I mean it like I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel
and we're not coming out of this fire alive.

I mean it like a last will and testament. A final confession.

A plead of mercy.

I love you, until the end.

This pain is not new,
Not different,
Just stronger,
Sharper,
More threatening,
It's like glass,
Mapping out my insides,
Leaving wounds,
That will surely remain forever,
It's tearing me apart

When he dies,
I will miss,
His wrinkled leather hands,
And withdraw,
From trivial conversation,
Despising laughter,
Choking for air,
All the while,
Sitting in silence,
While they move,
Laughing and smiling,
Quarelling over nothing in particular,
For time will not stop,
In their shallow world,
As it will,
In mine

When you fall,
the whole world rises above you
until you're the smallest thing in it,
until you're all alone;
insignificant, with nobody in sight.
Even those closest to your heart have disappeared.

When you fall,
there in no-one,
nothing.
It's just you, your broken dreams and heart;
nothing but fading memories,
precious glints of happiness you will never get back.