I'm wondering why,
God betrayed religion,
So blatantly,

Why there's nothing,
The doctors can do,
Absolutely nothing,

Why they never told me,
"He hasn't got long",

Why I won't be able to say,
"I love you",
Enough times,
Before his blood runs cold,

Why the air doesn't fill me,
With life,
But with nausea,

*Couldn't it all just be okay?

Lying awake,
Night after night,
This one particularly painful,
Much worse, too restless,
Forcing me to resort,
To child-like comforts,
To ease the pain,
Of fresh, bleeding wounds,
And substitute the lack,
Of welcomed restraint, of warmth,
That comes from the person,
Who can't offer it,
At this most eminent moment,
While I suffer,
Bleeding, breaking,
In silence

I can't breathe,
I don't want to,
The thought of living,
Makes me feel sick,
I can't control,
The flow of tears,
I'm just screaming,
For air,
Or better yet,
Someone to hold,
While I collapse,
Into a mess of tears and blood,
On the cold, hard floor,
Tearing at the walls,
And ripping my heart to shreds

Anchored in my place,
By the fatal news,
My tired eyes leaking,
My heart, heavy as stone,
Bleeding and torn,
I knew this day would come,
Never did I think this soon,
He always seems so young,
To my naive hazel eyes,
But to mark the day,
Of the heart-breaking event,
Makes it real for once,
No longer can I pretend,
That the sun will shine,
And God will spare him,
For two months time,
Shall come too soon,
And ****** him,
From my arms,
No matter how tight my grasp,
My heart stops at the thought,
Of seeing him so frail,
Helpless and...dying,
In the hospital bed,
Knowing how many seconds,
Minutes, hours, days,
I have left,
To say the things,
I always wanted to say,
But can never speak,
To breathe in his presence,
To feel warmth on his fingertips,
Before Death takes him,
Somewhere he'll never be found,
And leave me prey,
To grief and tears,
To watch the Earth swallow him,
In his newly dug grave,
While I stand by,
Helpless, alone,
Lost in a sea of black

Complexity,
Challenging the world,
She's not a simple problem,
I'm still trying to figure out,
Her past,
In regards to the puzzle of her present