these morning yawns are drawing on,
to wake up now
to sweet birdsong
a rare and scarce occasion
as the body ages
and the bones
become thin
fresh as a daisy has to pay the day's wages
before a trickle
of strength is let in,
the droopy eyes,
listless sighs,
the walking through treacle
of waking up time.

They are my life,
My soul,
My heart.
How do I let that show
They are my words
My creations
How do I let them go

I say I want to be heard
But do I want them to hear me
Do I want them to know me
Once I speak, it can't be unspoken.

Every word is a memory
A part of me
How many parts
Do I have to give away
How much beauty,
How much love,
How many words
Can I say

I say my voice is power
But I manage to remain silent
I say I want to be seen
But I manage to remain invisible

They are my life,
My love,
My hope.
How do I let that show
They are my breath,
My song,
My spirit
Everything of me nobody knows

They are my heart beats, my dreams
They are everything I believe
My words are everything
Nobody seems to see

              Still...
                    Do I want to let it show?

I can shake off everything if I write;
my sorrows disappear,
my courage is reborn.
-Anne Frank

When I write and pour out my troubles
I speak to the invisible audience
To the page, to the future
To my friends, and myself
And those things I hate and love
I spill out the ink of my worries and past
My thoughts and feelings and doubt
And for a moment, a handful of planck seconds,
I have nothing, feel nothing, *am nothing,
But one entity with myself
The little trouble I have is voiced and shed,
And I cry, but do not worry so much about it
I lose my gloomy dark thoughts and
Lighten up, and feel... not warmer exactly
Not happier either, but more.
More neutral and more myself, and more happy
And just more
And I again have courage and strength
To continue living without being weighed down

Hello again love
Welcome back to my heart
You're so familiar
But you feel different this time
Like an old friend in a new time
A bit softer and warmer in feel
But met with harder and colder feelings
A little more giving and embracing
But met with eager thirst
And hungry greediness
I'm hesitant to accept you
If only because I hurt
And have been hurt
And will be hurt
But you want to change that this time
You're the same
But you're different
I think I love you better now

You’re going into that dark place again
I haven’t seen you in a few days, but I can still feel it
That’s what I get for attaching my heart to yours
The risk I took is a weight tied to my ankles
And treading the deep is no use when you’re so **** heavy
Lighten up
Life is not as hard as it seems to be
Not with two hands to make yours four

I’ve been feeling rather driftful lately
Walls and ceilings have lost their use and appeal
It’s curious that my heart has just as hard a time focusing as my mind does…
But back to the matter

Love.Heart.Lost.Found.Onward.Boundless.Alive.

The poison drips from my mind,
The poison hurts people inside,
The poison you may never find,
The poison I continue to hide.