Even when I want to die,
I draw careless flowers on blank sheets.

There is beauty in the world,
But not within me.

I remember falling in love and now I'm falling apart,
Cause I lost myself in him,
and then
I lost him.

he was e cord and sunset lover,
and I was vanilla and cold weather.

he spoke of love in different languages,
i gave my boring self in quickened stages.

he was marveled at,
and i was passed by.

he lost touch with my heart,
and I never knew why.
-i.w.

When I was young I used to make little books out of pieces of paper and write stories about talking animals and vampires.
Now I am older and writing actual books. It seems to be the only thing that's stuck with me.

I'm sitting in a room full of people right now, and not hiding my paper because I know no one is paying attention.

I used to love myself, I don't know what happened. I used to be full of love and passion and energy, and now I am ashamed of it.

When I was young I used to play with dolls and make up stories of romance and adventure.
Now I'm older and still haven't been loved. I tend to think my younger self wouldn't be proud of that.

I used to cry a lot when people were mean or I lost my way.
Now I haven't cried in months. I think I may haven't gotten used to pain.

I used to sing into my hairbrush and act out monologues.
Now I am afraid to speak my dreams.

I used to love everyone,
now I see how little they care. I don't know if it's because I've lost touch with reality or fully indulged in it.

I used to be a very different person. I am just trying to make her proud, I should've never let them change me.

Silent lips
and wishful stares,
I wonder if you
see her there.

Only if you
really knew,
just how bad
I wanted you,

Hopeful thoughts
were all amiss,
until your eyes
caught on my lips.

And then a twist,
you look to me,
and then decide there's
more to see.