but the worst feeling of all,
is going to bed at night
not proud of yourself*

why do you cast yourself as unworthy?
consciously denying yourself of your privileges-
that of love, of faith, of courage, of joy

sadness is my comfort zone
i dwell in the realm of hurt
i tried to escape
the light vaporized my eyes
it stunned my skin
i tasted my last breath

i exploit my freedom to feel
foolishly discarding the thread to peace
knotted in sunken ropes
falling deep in the sea

The sky is maddening, the seas are glowing and she is still loving
Will you for once, fall in love with me today and let it last forever?

I will keep your heart so safe so sound,
You will know you're home.

Every day even though I don't see you,  I continue to adore you more and more.

Your smile perfumes the air and your gaze as alluring as the midnight sun; how are you anything short of pure magic?

My heart is caged by misery and longing, it beats and bleeds waiting for you to come back.

See the colors in my eyes for you and know that all i feel is true; nobody feels the way I do about you right now.

Love,
Me

I want to see you in the star-scapes and nightfall
But weaved into my daydreams is all where you reside
Would it be too much to ask, if you were to be my cartographer,
For the guidelines to your heart only seem to perforate my soul
I want to see you in the wilderness, desolate and robust,
I want to see you take me there.
I want to see you, nothing short of happy
Void of all the things that cast you downward
I’d give you the world; I don’t have to see it back,
Only as long as the distance between us is all but time,
For the logical perimeters of restriction would uphold,
It is merely restricting the sublime from resonating within you,
For far too long.

forever would be nice – in fact, something along the lines of infinite quality time with you*

there are just some dreams that I will stand by and keep watch
i’m hoping that your lantern heart won’t fade out
and one day permeate through my darkened atmosphere
i’m surveying my constellations; you’re darting across nebulas
we are a multiverse –
still more than worlds apart

but more than anything I want to stay
if what we have transcends the laws of space
i need you to dream with me
be more than my soulmate
carry the moonlight in your eyes
but don't forget to illuminate us before we part

you don't tempt me
you entrance me
and I give in

the way you kiss
repells my tensions
it's the perfect combination
soft, wet, vicious, caring
i crave you more and more

the way your skin grazes me
igniting every nerve ending of mine
sends me to somewhere like heaven
where you are my celestial wonderland

the way your eyes lock with mine
gentle, unguarded gazes
veiled with stories of mysteries and untold futures
i will read them with you someday

the way i feel with you
wanted, desired, loved
helpless, foolish, lost
but always at peace

i want to be near you
even if I'm not beside you
i don't want to forget a thing about you

We were just ruled by wishful thinking
Idealizing our lives, believing in our dreams
I wonder how much of that we’ll get to fulfill
You said even if our dreams remained as they are
At least we could define our perfect futures
And I believed you
Not because of sensibility,
But because of trust
And we both know that supersedes everything else
All the more made possible with the stark promise of reality

For me, that’s more than enough

The elision of logic
The entrance of crepuscular thought
Your ethereally ways- they enchant me
Every of my fibres and filaments;
They have became incandescent
To one visible ray of light

My speech, languid
My being, in lassitude
My mind, incorporeal

You lace your words with mellifluous embellishment
You shroud me with a luminescent mist
You touch me with your lithe fingers; igniting a scintilla of hope

Our compasses have been discarded
Our maps torn
Polaris is kept under the icy glaze of the winter skies
Aren't we lost now?

I can hear you
Your deep, mellow tone
But I'm not listening

I can feel you
Your smooth, soft skin
Gently grazing my perimeters
But I'm not responding

I can show you
A different side of me
Aggressive, sporadic, hysterical
But do you want to see?

Cause all I'm giving you
Is what you're asking of me
I'm pushing myself
To be close to you
But I'm not going to be your intimacy

I like the idea of us
Not us exactly
I like the idea of love
Not me being part of it
I like the concept of trust
Not with letting my guard down
But I'll do it all the same

I am not your final frontier
Trespass my being
Perforate all my dents
But will you?

So kiss me
Till my creases even out
Till my muscles defy numbness
Till my heart bleeds

Then hug me
Wait for my spine to crack
Wait for my knees to rise
Wait for my eyes to tear

And caress me
Show me you like me
Lie to me that you love me
Prove to me that you need me

But I won't be feeling

i know it by now -
but i have no one to tell it to

my soul is dense in emotions;
nothing displeases me more

but i don't try to escape
i'm surrendering to this quicksand
i don't want you to rescue me

but please help me save myself
at least before the dusk arrives
because sadness is just too easy-
too familiar for someone like me

You can make sense of everything,
articulate them into feelings and such,
but in the midst of translation to words,
the all too familiar shards of recognition and logic collide and compounds this potential illusion.
My thoughts are not deserving to be read, to be acknowledged by you,
but some may say that is merely a solitary view.
Who am I to judge myself,
but more importantly who am I to judge you?
I’d have never wanted to discard this common thread, frail but still tensile;
yet the weak spirit struggles to rise up and there she goes,
falling backward, away and away from where she wants to go.
Still in denial of what I’ll do for you;
I reckon it will last as long as I’ll never know that my heart,
My heart, that is now in use, will keep you.