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 Nov 2015 Isabel
Theia Gwen
Anorexia was the most attentive
Girlfriend anyone could ask for
And I fell hard for her
I fell for for 500 calories a day,
The sense of control it gave me
Compliments from girls I'd never talked to before
Doctors so pleased that I was finally "healthy"
That feeling,
Of stepping on the scale
And realizing that I took up less space
Than when I'd stepped on the day before
The feeling of water hitting an empty stomach
The hunger pangs
That secretly thrilled me
The thrill of the lies
The ones that became ever so easy
To slip off my tongue
The thrill of a secret love affair with death
I fell for an abuser
I fell...
Literally
Bruises lined my body
From bumping into walls
Because my body was so
Malnourished I couldn't
Walk down a hallway
Fell down a rabbit hole-
Fell down into a world I couldn't escape-
Thigh gaps, thinspiration, tips and tricks to
Hide this wonderland in your head
Walking headfirst into Anorexia was like walking
Into a haunted house
It's fun and exhilarating at first
It's a game, it's harmless
And then you realize that the doors
Are barred and it dawns on you
That ringing the doorbell of death
Was not the best idea
I am a study in skinny does not make you happy
The 5 pounds you wanted to lose
Turns to 10
Turns to 20
Turns to...
I am a study in
Every inch of your body being a warzone
Of standing in front of a mirror
Seeing nothing but a piece of meat
Taking up too much space
I am a study in calculation
I am a study in lying
I am a study in not dead, but not alive
I am a study in starvation
I am a study in falling out of love
 Feb 2014 Isabel
Theia Gwen
Escapism
 Feb 2014 Isabel
Theia Gwen
She reads
                                          And she sleeps
                                                      Way too much
                                                            ­           It's her coping defence
                                                                ­               When nothing else will suffice
                                                         ­               She needs to get away
                                                       Without actually leaving
                                             Because she's too scared
                                   And too tired
                                            To leave her bed
                                                      So she cracks open a book
                                                            ­     To escape somewhere far away
                                                            ­             And she'll sob for the characters
                                                      ­                       Whose brokenness resembles hers
                                                            ­                                   And then she'll sleep
                                                           ­                                   And have sweet dreams
                                                          ­              Of realities that are not her own
                                                       Because pretending is so much easier
                                                 Than facing reality
                             So she'll sleep and dream
          And secretly wish she won't wake up
So she can finally escape
 Oct 2013 Isabel
Amy Denison
Valery
 Oct 2013 Isabel
Amy Denison
She fell down the stairs
She pulled down her pants
She told him to bang her

Valery, what the ****

She passed out in a chair
Then freaked the **** out
Punched Hannah in the face

Valery, get in the ******* truck

She puked in my car
While she screamed at me, *****!
She got us all caught

Like what the hell

*Valery, you little *****
If anyone was wondering, this is the true story of my weekend. It was not fun. ****** Val. Oh sorry for the cursing, I'll tone it down next time.
 Oct 2013 Isabel
Amy Denison
I fell asleep in a city
A city that never sleeps
A city of worn out people
That refuse to see what I see
I see masks covering expressions
Of true personalities
I see souls plagued by fatigue
Just dying to get some sleep
I see a city full of people
That are only suffering
Am I the only one to realize
That *sleep is a necessity
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