The ice queen sat
On her frozen throne
Inside her arctic castle
Counting the biting remarks
The cutting phrases
That made her so cold

Falling blindly feels like flying
I guess that's why
I hit the ground so hard
When I thought I was on top of the world

Being human is an inevitable fatality

What I thought was a crown of flowers
Was actually
A crown of thorns
And what I thought was love
Was actually
Lust

When I sleep
And when the tendrils of fantasy envelop me
I dream of late night whispers
Tangled hair and tangled bedsheets
I dream of you

Sever my life
Cleave my soul
Split me in half
I don't want to be whole

My body, mind, and soul are
Cracked
And broken
And no amount of
Tape
Good thinking
Or bandaids
Will heal me

Smoke me like a cigarette
Turn my bone to ash
My body to smoke
Inhale my desires
Exhale my fears

I'm caught between
Who I want to be
And
Who I am

In my life
I have only succeeded
In producing
A couple tons of carbon dioxide
And nothing more

If I could release the ravens
That reside in my ribcage I would,
But I'm too lonely to let them fly free

I'm the dust of forgotten stars;
The smoke between your lips;
The shivers on your spine

Frozen to the bone
But my heart is aflame
My mind shudders
And my soul is to blame

We're all fighting our own battles
And I try to keep that in mind
But how long can I go
Without people realizing
That I've already lost mine

The smell of a guy you're about to kiss; his breath, his eagerness, his lust radiating out of his inner being

Suicide note: butterfly wings are so beautiful and soft, so unlike living

A girl frightened by her own shadow but not her death
A girl that does not fear death but craves it

Being cremated and having your ashes spread throughout the world is so beautiful; you can finally go wherever you want; you are finally free

We all perish
There's no denying
We're living our lives
But we're already dying

Why would you waste your life
On a girl
That's wasting away?

Love lost is still love
Just the way that a downpour is still just rain

I am envious
Of the sheets and bed that you sleep in
They get to wrap you up
And hold you in ways I never could

Somewhere in between
The 2 AM nightmares
And
The empty passenger seats
I fell apart.
And I don't know
If I can be fixed.

My life isn't real;
I'm a hallucination;
My body is a dream;
And my soul an illusion

This fire is consuming me
My veins are ablaze
My lungs are nothing but smoke
My thoughts have turned to ash
I'm being burned alive

Tendrils of smoke
Surrounding my mind
Like a crown of amnesia
The only thing I remember
Is to say that I'm fine

Her soul is broken, tangled, intertwined with those of the lost, the dead.

For some inexplicable reason,
I can't seem to let go.

Let go of what?
Let go of anything.

I hold grudges that are ten years old,
Unable to budge my conscience.

I refuse to halt friendships,
That I know are venomous to my health.

I brush aside help,
From anyone, because I don't deserve it.

I reject hope,
Claiming it won't work, and will only bring pain.

I decline food, water, anything that keeps me alive,
Because I know death is sweeter than living.

I forgo my own opinions,
Deciding that really, they aren't right, and everyone knows that.

The depreciation I experience,
Is unlike any known description or overused metaphor.

I can't let go of these unwanted, malcontent feelings.
I'm useless, I barely even function.

The voices in my head can't get any louder.
**** yourself, you aren't worth anything, you're better off dead

So how do I die,
When I can't let go?

They say Hell is a place
No one wants to go.
They say it's fiery hot and torturous.
Some say it's Purgatory, someplace I should never want to go.

But for some reason,
I want to immerse myself in "Hell".
I want to feel the heat, the burning sensations.
I want to be somewhere other than here.

They say Hell is where the bad people go,
The ones that committed crimes and it's their punishment.
I don't see Hell as a punishment, as Purgatory.
I see it as it truly is: an opportunity.

I'd like to visit it one day, if it even exists.
I want to see if it'll melt this heart of mine.
Give it warmth and touch its core,
Allow this numb heart to feel once more.

It started out as a flame
Flickering
Dancing off a matchstick that was an idea.
It kindled an idea to help renew,
To regenerate what was once lost.
The fire grew
And with it
A passion that could not be extinguished.

The warmth was welcomed by her body
A body so cold
So helpless against the dangers of the world
And herself.
The fire gave power
And with the power there grew an inferno
Once ignited, could not be smothered.

The fire whispered
Through smoke and cinders;
It whispered
To encourage the distressing ideas that flowed through her.
She was frozen
Frostbitten to the bone without the fire
And so
To stay alive
She stayed close by the hearth.

When friends became concerned
They tried to call her back
But she was too attached to the blaze.
While the smoke tangled in her hair
And coursed through her veins
She drew in ever closer.
She huddled towards the light
That was leading her to her dangerous desires,
Cutting everything off
Except for the sea of flames.
She clung to her damaged thoughts
And kept the fire steady.

Going almost unnoticed
Her skin turned red and warm;
She was too happy to embrace the heat.
She understood she was too close,
Yet she rose from her perch
Roused by the incandescence
The feverish luminosity.

She
A mere mortal
Drew within reach of the alluring fire.
The flames licked her face
Her hands
Her hopelessly lost mind
As she dove in
Headfirst.

Everyone she had turned away watched
Unable to help.


She registered one single thought:
It's too hot.

But
It was too late.
She couldn't step away from the furnace;

For suddenly she was bound by ropes of her own doing
A funeral pyre just for her.
She was stuck within the depths
Of the scorching fire she had so arduously cared for.
She tried to call out
To those just outside the fireplace
Watching
Witnessing
But the fumes enveloped her
Stifling her pleas,
Her cries for help.

She couldn’t breathe
The embers burning her lungs as she inhaled,
Silencing her voice as she exhaled.
She flickered for a second more;
The life left her eyes.
She collapsed
Leaving ash and bone to intermingle into nothing.


What she had once mistakenly perceived
As an idea,
No larger than a matchstick,
Was something she could not control.
But no one could control a fire that destructive
Or
Deadly.