I wish to be dead because I'm not alive
a sort of half existance between evil and good
these hands grasp at my ankles
they live just to drag me down
I struggle to free myself
does Lucifer have me now?

what is this light I'm seeing
something beyond dim
what happend to the shine
the light within my eyes
how long has it been drowned
in this vast ocean of boiling choking mist

and how through all of this
am I ever going to see him
the one who shines so darkly bright
to repel my captors
nowhere does such a man exist
it is true they are only myths

I know in my emptiness
that I must save myself
I can rely on nothing else
my only way out is on my own
so for silent tears leave me alone
you cannot save me, don't pretend to try

do not stand and talk
because if I can't get out I'll drag you down here
where nobody can hear your tears
I'll kick at your joints
and climb up your bones
use you like all before used me
I won't look back
I won't dare to glance
Nor will I lend a hand to pull you out
you can drown or starve or burn
like the feelings inside of me
the demons will eat your existence


**... maybe after your body is dark and twisted
you can join me in this plague
with claws entwined
revelling in the darkness
scouring the land
only relenting when all is blind

Don't look at me like you care
Everyday before now I wished you were there
Please just leave my mind be
Really... I'm better off without out you haunting me
Eagerly I wait for the monster
See, I'll always be a wanderer
Stumbling over the rubble that is left
It could be a gift
Or maybe a curse
Never mind which it is, it just keeps getting worse

deep in the abyss further away they drift
you don't realise the distance to which my soul has been corrupted
it's drilled into my bones
the darkness has swallowed my existence
I pave along trying to find a glimmer
a hope of what I used to be
but instead I think I'll just wonder
through the darkness that is me

I fear my own reflection
my eyes are darkened and neverending
Always absent in my dreams
do they still exist
'windows to your soul'
does it mean my consience is gone
an eagle with a crippled wing
does not try to fly all its life
a few short flutters
then simply waits to die
I hear but I haven't the energy to listen
Hand on my heart deep down I care
but further inside is an abyss
pour the pain over me
I will bathe in it's love
the lights cause writhing within my skin
the old lady inside of me yearns for them
many wise things come from her lips
by the time the sound comes out
it is twisted and cruel
I wish the windows would return
Then fall into my darkness
and I may rest once again

A devastated detached soul
may wonder as long as it please
but on this tormented earth
won't find everlasting ease

The path is long and narrow
It twists and winds as it binds your soul
Cursed to forever hopelessly wonder towards the light
Coverd in cuts and broken bones
Every rise fighting a loosing battle
Blindly hoping to finish it first
Never dare to wish for a moment
Or you'll stumble off the path and fall back to earth