Ives - Hello Poetry

Ives Feb 2018

lines

my love for you grows stronger the more we are farther apart

my favorite colour was yellow for three years because it was his (he seemed like happiness)

the idea of you wasn’t as beautiful as the actualization

I swear I used to be so independent (just because he fills my thoughts doesn’t invalidate that)

the number one thing I imagine is your arms

I know I don’t need him; he compliments me so well

I write about him so much because he fills me with the most emotion

I write about him so much it fills me with the most emotion

you got upset your zodiac is a sheep; your mind’s wool keeps me safe like a blanket

I want to stop writing about him, but my fingers keep typing the name

will this pass like every second that goes by

I am my own soul mate

you don’t have to leave (even after everyone tells you to)

parts of me remind me of you

can I be close to you

is it plausible I don’t want your penitence

my mind is in the clouds and the stars are in my eyes

I’m not going to buy a new house when one lightbulb stops working

I can’t fix you (I shouldn’t have to)

this is called bittersweet

where do we go from here

Ives Feb 2018

on love

EROS : body
every teen show I ever watched that set up love
daydreams
PHILIA : mind
the ideas spouted by happiness in one quick moment
my brothers when we laugh until we cry (and every other memory of them)
AGAPE : soul
innocence of newborns
breathing fresh air
STORGE: child
my mom crying because she’s proud of me
comforting hugs from her
LUDUS: playful
small animals
every time I talk to you
PRAGMA: longstanding
things that have
yet to come
PHILAUTIA: self
what I learned to do two years ago
everything I want to give to you (no one can give it to you but yourself)

Ives Feb 2018

show & tell

At first, whenever I saw you I was very hyper.
Now it seems that has transferred to you while I stay calm. (is this how you felt)
I feel like I need assurance you actually want to talk to me.
I thought I had it until you shook me to my core.
Now I’m so anxious you might lose interest at any time.
I don’t show affection the same way you do.
You have all these facile, cheesy lines (they make me smile),
but I’m not good at showing emotion in public.
I’m not as free as I text;
I’m usually so erratic and engaging.
In person, I can’t find the words for discourse.
I could honestly just look at you;
memorize every curve of your face,
the colour of your eyes,
how you smile,
the way you look at me
(you look right through me).
I show my affection through a series
of distant smiles and longing glances.
(I’ve started hearing your voice in my head when I’m alone)

Ives Feb 2018

you (II)

the scent of you that lingers when you leave
your smile and the sound of your laughter
your quirky humor that challenges me not to smile
the way you got me to open up like early spring flowers
stupid things you did as a child
the thoughtfulness you express that others don’t
good morning texts
acting childish with me
stuffed animals
staying up late (I worry sometimes)
cheesy lines
acceptance I’ve never experienced
chess (1-1)
anything that hasn’t happened and everything that did
when you say you won’t leave
your music taste
that one time you skipped down the hallway
answering so fast
afternoon naps
your voice
puns (I only got so addicted because you started using them)
nicknames only you could get away with

Ives Feb 2018

you (I)

Unsized; my affection for you
Only seen as slowly and surprising as it was when I first realized it.
Yet those days where your words frustrated me now comfort my being.
Under your words my heart has learned to suffer;
One week of this has it hiding away in the back of my chest.
Your mind has me telling convoluted lies and defending you against my own;
Understand that as long as you exist so perfectly there, I will not cease to do so.
Occasionally I still have dreams about you; a wolf in sheep’s skin.
Yielding myself to someone is the most frustrating thing. How did you take me so smoothly?
Using me selfishly while I lovingly caressed what I hopelessly believed to be hope-
Oddly ignorant that the same ache you feel will be shoved down my throat.
Yelling only causes my head to throb; I learned to take what was given.
Upstairs is where I keep my tears;
Oceans exist where I can not bear to any longer.
Youth doesn’t seem like a gift anymore. I know it is, but this experience burns
Upon application (even though you never touched me).
Often times I find myself in a haze where my mind feels the fire
worse than my skin ever could.
Yesterday I told a joke in what seems like months.
Until I can learn to breathe again I’ll have to stay away from that;
One joke felt like the hug I never gave you.
Y- is my affection larger than my heart

#you

— The End —