we  three kings are having a jar,
bearing gifts we stole from the spar,
money counting, profits mounting,...
selling em in the bar.

ooh, ooh, car of  wonder,pile of *****,
pinched it from a building site,
we proceeded, they don't need it,
taxi's dear this time of night.

we three kings are shy of a goal,
work for a living is selling your soul,
we got money, think it's funny,
tuesday we sign on the dole.

hoodie laughs at working fools,
mocking men that play to rules,
we pay taxes, he relaxes,
he's the king, and we the mules.

befriended by the builders
a building site next door
they gave her little jobs to do
although she's only four

when friday came,they even gave
her wages for the week
foreman smiled at sophie's joy
and tweaked her rosie cheek

off she went, to spend her pay
there was no way of stopping
a working girl with hard earned cash
so mummy took her shopping

hello mr  sweetshop man
i've got cash to spend
been grafting with my muckers
an real job,....not pretend

are you working monday?
he passed her pick and mix
aye! if those  wankers from jewson
bring the ******* bricks

food of abundance
feeling redundance
riddled with frustrated rage

pretending to love me
wire above me
confined to a small metal cage

no longer sing
a song on a wing
natural envirioment gone

free as a bird
these words are absurd
in prison, and done nothing wrong

while trying to buy some durex
he trembled to his roots
this is just a sport shop sir
you'd better try at boots

half an hour later
fearing confrontation
i'd like to buy a rubber thing
with batteries and vibration

once more the lady scowled
while showing him the door
this is just a sport shop
and don't come back for more

i want some k.y. jelly
he whispered his demand
her patience now exhausted
manager came to hand

what's the problem sir?
you seem a little harassed
welsh rugby,  shirt he mumbled
but i'm too embarrassed

loaded with her weekly shop
outside the doors at asda
***** **** that never let
opportunity go passed her

hello big boy
she stroked his cheek
my bags are heavy
knees are weak

i lift  dumbells
night and day
giss ya shopping
lead the way

i've got an itchy *****
and i've got the horn
do you want to see it?
you **** hunk of brawn

you'll have to show me luv
it's hard for me to see
those ****** japanese cars
look all the same to me

to see alonely child
no mother to confide
a mother once so close
bonded side by side

till illness claimed
left children maimed
stunned in solitude

no calming song
a mammy gone
that fed you love and food

but mother proud
from watching cloud
will guide and shepherd you

with loving arms
and all her charms
from smiling skies of blue

sneaky stan, the builder man,
who laboured on the site
wheeled a barrow full of straw
for two weeks every night

foreman feared some pilfering
and  searched it every day
he fumbled round, but always  found
now't below the hay.

but sneaky stan, a gardening man,
unhappy with wage rates
had stolen fourteen wheel barrows
and sold em to his mates

cross-eyed puppy rottwieler
our bond of love is deep
because of his affliction
the ******* sold him cheap

visited  the local vet
took the time and trouble
to make my doggy better
and stop him seeing double

i'll have to put him down at once
said dr fronconstevi
why?  just because he's cross-eyed?
no,.... he's ******* heavy

lil jack horner, sat in the corner
nursing his aching back
stuck his fat thumb, right up his ***
and miss muffet gave him a wack

***** del the dealer
dyslexsic dodgy bloke
got a can stuck up my nose
when i tried sniffing coke

offered me a bisco discuit
i think was ecstasy
said that i would dance all night
but he called it a d

snack, and *****, d.m.a
maraganja, ****
pc plod approached the scene
and del was off at speed

i am the boss, and pay the cost
of your life every week
i'm upper class,so kiss my ***
twice daily on each cheek

you are my slave,until your grave
depend on me for pay
you must obey,all i say
eight hours every day

my status rules,you grateful fools
that grovel to my money
i demand, your grafting hands
feed me milk and honey

yeh, but......

i work for you, and listen to
the ******* and the crap
because i've got two kids to feed
along with mortgage trap

but you don't see, where i ***
when you demand a cuppa
laugh aloud, feeling proud
each time i eat my supper

you spit your ****, i laugh in fits
recall your furrowed frown
the night i painted your new car
and let the tyres down  

shout your clout, boss me about
don't care how i'm feeling
but you don't see, where i ***
and everything i'm stealing

the working girl approached him
a busy cardiff pub
stockings and suspenders
gave his leg a rub

hundred quid, i'm yours tonight
whatever you desire
heart beat like a big bass drum
his calvin kliens on fire

could not believe his fortune
what a stroke of luck
so he made her paint his house
and clean his ***** truck

the thief entered the window
then filled his pants with poo
voice came from the darkness
" twinkles watching you"

panic in his viens
unsure what to do
yet again the warning words
" twinkle's watching you"

trembling hand that shone a torch
then sighed with much relief
the parrot in a corner said....
" hello, my name is kieth"

what silly ******* named you that?
the robber mocked the bird
kieth the talking parrot?
the daftest thing i've heard

"the same man with a rottwweiler"
"that bit off someones nose"
"he's very good at creeping"
" his name is twinkle toes"

literate legends of the past
wordsworth, tennyson, shakespeare, poe
philosophers preaching wisdom
whilst churning words of woe

if born a century onward
their genius contribution
would re-direct thought
and our retribution

clever wit, used correctly
relays a message indirectly
be loud in voice
be strong in deed
plants that blosom
have nurtured seeds

learned men, with miserly souls
different values, different goals
hypothetically speaking, if resurrected
could this system be corrected

past vision blurred, future masked
the valley victim duly asked...
what make thee of my vale?
once vibrant, now lies stale

thine vale like a garment, tightly twined
sceptical of progress, wallow in decline
thy forefathers fester in premature tombs
martyrs to masters, grafted in gloom

thy dwell on the dead, thou should view ahead
though mystery of history must ever be read
tread forth with vision, or stumble ye blind
don't dwell on the dead, or land once mined

i stand and stare, fridge is bare
no carpet on the floor
washing soaked, heating broke
bailiffs at the door

roof is leaking, house is creaking
single dad, sad moaner
middle aged, without a wage
christmas round the corner
but.....

a little boy in india
not eaten for a week
no shirt upon his back....
a grin upon his cheek

he's never tasted biscuits
crisps, or orange squash
always wears a smile
but never clothes to wash

unaware of fridges
heating run on gas
never seen a carpet
school room or a class

materialistic *******
food that goes to waste
life we take for granted
he will never taste

happy ever grateful
for simple things of need
never witness our ****
of gluttoness and greed

one day the giant teacher
walked pupils round the world
some small giant boys
some small giant girls

jimmy giant stick your hand
down through the cloudy mist
tell me our location ...
his methods had a twist

think we are in india
triumphant in his call
i can smell the curry
and feel the taj mahal

julie giant,tommy, joe
*****, stan, and sid
egypt was the answer
they touched the pyramid

china, shouted sally
i can feel the wall
chinese folk in paddy fields
i can touch em all

tiny taffy  last in turn
came trailing from behind
dai stick your hand down through the sky
and see what you can find

BLAENAVON, shouted dai
while clutching at his crotch.
can you feel the big pit?
no,.... some **** stole my watch

wise old owl awoke one day
and studied human habits
blinkered, busy, bussling,
stressed out racing rabbits

ever chasing,always racing
never gaining, life of straining
predictable futures, and the source
who's the wiser? cart or horse?

he gazed at our system
thought whats the point....
of hussle and bussle
then rolled up a joint

rumour tumours
feed and flourish
mushrooms need
**** for nourish

purposeless people
with nothing to do
scorn the progressors
vision to view

optimist swims
jelly fish float
thro sea of life
live or gloat

i have a blow up sheepy doll
that sleeps with me at night
apart from where i fixed her
most of her is white

might be sad, some say mad
when sexlife is in limbo
love bite made her **** last night
she flew out through the window

i sense a bitter person
twisted by life's fate
rather call it passion
instead of woeful hate

life is like a soda bottle
shaken with compression
bathsheba has released some gas
thro poetical expression

moralistic fibres
unafraid to speak
troubled past endured
made her strong not weak

also sense connection
you, myself, and jack
we have found a way in life
to get **** off our back

might be totally wrong, but it's my impression. please let me know

discrimination is within.....
us all i'm sad to say
black, short, tall,or ginger
rich, poor, bald or gay

judgemental in appearance
is human nature true
before you make your mind up
take a look at you

ewe wanna learn how to talk tidy
like all us welsh valley folk do
we don't know a coat from a jacket
we don't know a boot from a shoe

we  live up the road down by there
shoulder length cropped curly hair
got permanent jobs on the fiddle
two houses,and  mines in the middle

my mothers a tea total binger
blonde headed brunette called ginger
she always go out for a night in
to bingo she finds exciting

did you see that wind?
hear that snow?watch that song?
who's coat is that jacket?
and there it was....gone

i was'nt very clever
at maths at park st school
thick as **** when adding up
a mathematics mule

but i was quite good looking
girls where always there
counting not a problem
with gelled black streaky hair

puberty and progress
next stage after kissing
discovered that my *****
was'nt just for *******

then came my dilemma
a valley ****** vexed
blod the bike from blaina
begging to be sexed

how'd you want it bloddwyn?
oooh!....ten inches would be nice
i counted for a minute....
then i shagged her twice

at middle age there comes a stage
a crossroads with red lights
confused with lifes directions
straight on, left, or right

it only took a second
to realise i love fun
so i turned my **** around
went back to twenty one

rhondda boy, don't deploy
your life to poor existence
pits are closed,but not the song
welsh heart, and it's persistence

past unfair, leave it there
where history has stung
memories of  bampas words
and every song he sung

look ahead in all thats new
don't wallow in your woe
pits are gone, but not the song
your bampa used to now

a scientific problem
puzzled me last night
i pondered on the difference
comparing hard and light

suddenly it dawned on me
you'll have to beg my pardon
i can slumber with the light on
but can't sleep with a *******

he lives up the road, down by me
and tried to **** up a tree
tree was too high, he ****** in his eye
now the poor ****** can't see

ball bag of *****
ovaries beware
lust of the manhood
lies that he cares
over cooked passion
carelessly had
kiddies unwanted
some with no dad

lil jack horner sat with a *****
in fantasy islands delight
pulled out his ****, wanked in a sock,
then it was time for good night

i'm in the s.a.s
a voice behind a hill
i'll take ten of you
the taliban stood still

go and sort him out
their leader told his men
none of them came back
he heard the taunt again

bring a hundred next time
seems ten just wer'nt enough
one s.a.s can whoop your ***
we're made of better stuff

angry taliban set off
ferocious in attack
when desert dust had settled down
none of them came back

come on mr taliban
send a thousand more....
commander of the taliban
seething to the core

go and sort that **** out
he's getting on my ****
my wife has got the tea on
bring him back in bits

one survivor made it back
battered, bruised and burned
a martyr's message for his boss
he gave as he returned

go back, retreat, save your lives
it's a trap,  the ******* lied
theres two of them behind the hill
laughing, loudly,  side by side

lil jack horner sat in a corner
mulling a miserable time
pulled out a pen, that was it then
off-loaded his passion thro rhyme

when life aint fair and all aboveare heavy clouds that push and shovemoney problems, ****** moodsmother worries, father broods materialism that we causewhile others die on distant shoresblessings, burdens, never countedself indulgence foremost mounted

don't want your double glazingfree holiday or phonemy electric bill is finei can't afford a loan don't want a stolen carpeta new supply of gasbetterware or catologuesshove em up your *** brainwashing persistanceadvertisers greedpersuading me and you to buythings we never need

babbling bard's borrowed blabberpolished performers jibber jabberpinching published stolen cultureverse of a cuckoo, parrot, or vulture thespian thrush corally crowspilfered produce of past masters proseperfect posture, prancing croondotty damsels sigh and swoon shakespearian showman strutting stagesobtaining material from dead poets pagesstudious stealer's theatrical thirstrapturous robber, magpie of verse wisely walter mundane mittypoetical poacher prancing prettyempty shallow pretentious crookcrafty criminal compiling book robber of rhyme from archival shelfcopy-cat crooner can't do it himselfrouted teeth spout from mouth like a troutaudience wonder, what is he on  about any question's? the laurete quizzedyes said one,...do you know where the bog is? this is a true story, i was there. and the **** concerned is the editor of poetry wales magazine. who told me that i should study other peoples work for at least five years before i put pen to paper. i promptly answered, .... too late butty, i've already published 3 books, and sold the lot (only locally mind, but did'nt tell him that). he read other peoples poems that night, that were converted from english to welsh, and no one round here speaks or understands welsh.  

teepee dwellers gather rounddancing flames, natures soundhappy hippies, beads and banglesvegan food but leather sandals save the earth, soap-dodgers pleadflower power, worship weedhate pollution, love the treeslove and peace, pure and free dreadlock strands, ***** handssymbolic signs from aeresol cansacrylic colours produced by manthe hairy eco paints his van van thats spews black filthy smokebalding tyres, handbrake brokesigns of peace and global gleeno wipers, tax, or m.o.t workin hippy knows the scoresummer paid by winters choremother earth their passion causeand some drive home in four by fours

tonto fetch the doctortonto fetch him quicksnake jus bit lone rangerbit him on the **** tonto rode the desertwith urgency and forceonly problem was....he forgot to take his horse tonto faced the doctorme know this sounding sillybut snake jus bit lone rangerbit him on hs ***** doctor turned to tontoand looked him in the eyetonto must **** poison outor ranger gonna die what the doc say tonto?rangers hopeful cry.bad news kimo sabihe say you gonna die

dear children.i hope and pray, someday i maylay my troubled weary headon peaceful downy pillowsbut never wake up dead so never follow footstepslearn where others treadbe watchful how they slipnever be misled learn from steel ,coal,iron soulsalways be yourselfnever walk in shadowsalways walk in health live above the groundor dead beneath the flowerseither way appliesmake good the precious hours indulge in all thats freewith happiness and laughtersavour every momentit may be too late after i hope to gaze, up or downone day from heaven or helland watch my children learn, from....where i climbed, and where i fellall my love, dad ** 

howling black wavespounded the doomedwelshmen of steeltravesty loomed absorbing the onslaughtrelentless attackerwrong end of mountainrourkes drift, south africa brave boyo stood fastsolid in stancebattled the tideof barefoot advance singing in tunicvalley men bred fought black waves of heatin rivers of red respectful zulunot mindless marauderheld assegai highand saluted....the south wales borderer   

i honny be ten minniei pooron sumfing slinkydai had pulled a stunner...the waitress from the ****** whah yoo fancy big boy?half naked in her finerysexcitedly he mumbledi'd like a sixty ninery i no cook this time o nightit nearly half pass twoyoo chauvinistic bastardthen hit him with her shoe

returning from a night outbusting for a peedescretion of a grave yarddark cold cemetry bloddwyn used her pantiesmegan used a wreathto wipe away the dripperssighing with relief early sunday morningworried husbands chatmy bloddwyn had no pants on,my megans worse than that she had a card stuck up her bumand a white carnationsaying....always be remembered....from the firemen down the station

tried to smoke some drugs last nightwhen i was really drunk.just before my head went popi think they called it ***** balance went, legs were bentlike bambi on the iceput my coat on upside downspewed on my shoes twice raced two blue turtles up my stairson route to bed,....i thinkfollowed by big bunny wabbitsall of them were pink buzzing sound, head spun roundtried the door but missedthink i'll leave the drugs aloneand stick to getting ****** 

white paloured skinfreckled facesturning pinkin sunny places blaze of red upon their headno right to be a whingerwhat if they were black, gay, dwarfs ?as well as being ginger.

you might have thought there was no wordthat would've rhymed with orangebut there's a mountain where i livecalled the mighty blorenge half a ***** of a cleavageblaenavon nestles deepa baize of fern and heatherwhere we go ******* sheep

****** up paddy's weekly binge,
did nothing for poor mary's twinge.
she quelled her urge with robbie rasta,
who smoked the ****,and **** was faster.

 the ***** guru jumped with fright,
yo husband early home tonight.
don't ye worry, stay in bed,
the fockers ****** right off his head.

 mary, mary, the drunkard bleats,
der is tree people beneath dees sheets,
shot op ye dronk i am no cheat,
get outa bed an count the feet,

 sorry me darlin, der's only four,
staggered to the bathroom door,
where ye goin? what ye thinkin?
to wash me feet, they're fockin stinkin.

lucky dai the builder,
was ill at home in bed,
a breeze block missed his shoulder,
but hit him on the head,
he'll wear a hat and steel cap boots,
when in work tomorrow,
the block bounced off his nut,
and landed on his toe,
he thought that health and safety,
was only meant for wimps,
his helmet sits upon his head,
and wobbles when he limps.

fledgling's fly,
parents sigh,
worry, woeful,
wave goodbye.

investigating pathways new,
carry wisdom passed by you,
****** ground unexplored,
abandoned nest, warm but bored.

father, mother, don't you cry,
they all return, and you'll know why ....
why you nurtured them to grow,
what you reap, is what you sow,
produce of your loving care,
glow of pride that can't compare.

a simple man once said to me,
savour warmth in all that's free,
don't need money,
riches, wealth,
i've got family,
i've got health,
loved ones i have all around,
worth more to me than any pound,
air i breathe, life i lead,
**** the system,
and it's greed.

***** dai the dogger,
went searching thro the woods,
with hope of voyeurism,
or ******* if he could,

sound of heavy breathing,
saw shadows through the trees,
a man was standing up,
woman on her knees.

they noticed dai was watching,
a dogger with a bone,
would you like to join us,
if we take you home?

*** show and a *******,
***** dai's delight,
they led him to a carpark,
in darkness of the night,

we don't live very far,
our house is near caerphilly,
lady did'nt say much,
her partners name was billy.

snuggled up in bed,
dai's pants off,
so was billy's,
then dai shot through  the window.....
cos both of them had *****'s.

lil boyo peep lost his sheepand did'nt know where to find hersearched the valley's far and widethen found her with a minerhe never heeded gossipor the rumour tumoursand thought the sheepy storieswere down to valley humour miner with his trousers downmade boyo feel quite illhis sheep was stained with coal dustand was'nt on the pillsad tears welled his eyesas he told his mam.don't worry bout it sweetheartour mary's got a lamb

doctor i'm in troubledon't know what to dosix o'clock on the doti always have a poolisten dai, thats normalyour bowels regulate.but our mam is going bonkers....i don't get up till eight