i'm tired
of being tired
of being tired
of being
in general

i have surpassed my ability to forgive and forget
so i will settle with forgetting
so i do not have to forgive

the autumn chill that picks me up
you loved the amber skies so much
long limbs and frozen swims
you'd always go past where our feet could touch
and i'd complain the whole way there
the car ride back and up the stairs
i should have asked you questions
i should have asked you how to be
asked you to write it down for me
should've kept every grocery store receipt
cause every scrap of you would be taken from me
watched as you signed your name marjorie
all your closets of backlogged dreams
and how you left them all to me

"maybe i'm just making it up in my head"

-wishful thinking

i'm on the brink of disintegration
crashing down like a fallen star
that never got wished upon