she paints amazing paintings,
she writes beautiful poems,
she sings wonderful lyrics,
she dances fantastic choreography.

except there's a little twist to this
incredible artist-

she paints amazing paintings on her body,
she writes beautiful poems in the form of tears,
she sings wonderful lyrics from the desolate part of her heart,
she dances fantastic choreography by the demons shadowing her soul.

she doesn't know reality from dreams or imaginations,
she doesn't know what real happiness is; just plastered smiles,
she doesn't know if it's genuine care or just adulation,
she doesn't know anything anymore,
all that she knows now is
pure
dark
                                                s ­        a          d           n         e         s              s    


and she can't escape.


**(a.p)

sometimes we laugh,
but tears always follow.
sometimes we smile,
but inside, we're hollow.

the eyes tell everything,
but not many can read.
genuine care and some lovely hugs,
maybe that's all we really need.

what you think,
isn't always true.
i promise,
i'll be there for you.

your beautiful smile
is what gets me through bad days,
but i cry inside because
it utterly hurts to see your sad gaze.

your lovely kind words,
they make me flatter,
but nothing's compared to
your love that's grown fatter.

honey, with me you don't
have to bother lying,
because i see it in your eyes-
they're no longer shining.

all i want is nothing more
that to see you at your happiest
even though
you go through the nastiest.

because i long to see
those lights again,
together we'll pull through
this horrific pain.

these last few words
i have for you-
you're strong, you're incredible
and i love you.

**(a.p)

she thought she was strong;
she could control her demons
but she was just wrong.

**(a.p)

A hole in her heart that can never heal,
She tried everything, but still so empty.
She keeps trying but she’d rather not feel.

Fat! Ugly! Loathful! Why’d you eat that meal?!
The mirror screams at her – she feels *****.
The hole in her heart, unable to heal.

The demons lurk in her heads; surreal.
Starve to be skinny, (skinny means happy)
She tries and tries but she’d rather not feel.

Her walls built so high, solely out of steel.
Everyone will give up eventually.
The big hole in her heart barely did heal.

Scars – fresh and old – under her sleeves conceal
her secrets. She just wants to be free.
She keeps trying but she’d rather not feel.

Nobody actually knew it was real,
But she is me.
That hole in my heart? It never did heal.
But I got what I wanted – I can’t feel.

**(a.p)

she's lost interest in everything,
she's drowned too deep,
she's lost all feelings.
hiding in her head
are her demons.
she wished
she'd just
die.

**(a.p)

go
      d
          e
             e
                p
                   e
                      r

and if feeling i still can't achieve
i should better off be d e a d
dead people don't feel
anyways

**(a.p)

for i will adorn you with
lovely kisses and
stars i stole
from the beautiful skies
you and i painted
together

**(a.p)