And the morning after
            is always tinged with regret;
I can see it in the sunrise before I
            open my curtains.
If only I could pretend
            that, some days, it doesn't
            keep me better company
            than my faithful lover.

© Indigo Kenna

Oh, it is so difficult to be loved
     when you know you do not
               deserve it.
I would destroy myself
     if not for you,
but to do so would destroy you, too.
I still scrub away at the edges of myself,
     but I cannot disappear
               with you.

I am not used to love
and you chase me down with it as a torch;
                I haunt you, a moth to your flame.
How can I survive this
                     fire that does not burn?


I cannot hold on to you;
I will not hold on to you,
     and yet you hold on
                              to me.

The fire keeps the shadow alive.

(c) 2022 Indigo Kenna

I loved you
For an eternity.
But then you ended that eternity
With a knife.

(c) 2020 Indigo Kenna

Don't take away the burning chill of pain from me.
No, not yet.
Not while I still need it.

(c) 2020 Indigo Kenna

Lovely like the meadows,
Rugged like the cliffs;
You took a longing look at me
But then left me behind to drift.

(c) 2020 Indigo Kenna

I'm warm | alone
I'm comfortable | alone
And the blanket fort of who I am
Doesn't need anyone else
To help build it

(c) 2020 Indigo Kenna

Don't tell me to open my eyes and see
When it's you who has kept me in the dark.

(c) 2019 Indigo Kenna

I see you there
far away, hazy, distant
And I feel the pain that I have caused.

(c) 2019 Indigo Kenna

Sometimes you have to shut off that one light that's been blinding you
Before you can see all the others
(of which one is particularly beautiful).

(c) 2018 Indigo Kenna

i am     falling
yet gravity takes me upward
with the strong, boiling cold winds
that twist rain into hail

am I this? a core of dirt robed in frigid stiffness?
no, I am the melted after-effects of a storm
that no one saw

(c) 2020 Indigo Kenna

Why do we love
     The people who we should not love?

Is it longing, or pain,
Or self-deception about who you are
That drives me yet to love you so?

You said goodbye so long ago,
And still I love who I should not.

(c) 2018 Indigo Kenna

Forget the world, friends--it's gone to those who dream,
As if all these soaring depths could hold us,
As if all these dropping heights
Could pin us to the ground---
Let's fly, friends---
The world is gone.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Every time I feel this love,
I feel afraid.
I shiver, as if the dead of winter
Had crept in overnight.
But what is love,
And why does it make us cold---
Or is it the absence of love that chills us?

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Goodnight, my love.
You're leaving.


Sometimes it hits me like a truck at full speed... (gasping)
----I'll never see you again---
And then it's gone as fast as it came:
Like you.


--> So, when you're gone, I'll say,
I glimpsed you,
But I never saw you.
You didn't stay long enough for me to
Get a good look at your face.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Today
Is the day for revival,
For rain does not come except that we pray.
Today, yes, is that day that I feel so low,
But that will be every day until I die.
Yes, today I am tired,
Sniffling,
Ready to sleep,
Off on my own,
But it will always be today.
Pray now.
(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

So,
I'll be what I am,
For to be another would be a lie.
Additionally,
And I'll put this bluntly,
I'd rather you didn't love me if it was for someone else.

My advice is,
Be yourself,
And don't be disappointed if someone leaves the person you were pretending to be for someone real. Maybe you should do the same.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Should I
Change myself
To please you?
I could, but
What would I gain?
You never loved me anyway.
(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

It was not so much when I felt awful,
But when I felt nothing,
That I wanted to die.

And it was not so much when I felt happy,
But when I felt loved, despite all the pain,
That I wanted to live.

(C) 2016 Indigo Kenna

Give me an idea of how many stars there are,
And I will tell you the color of your eyes;
For the celestial bodies are innumerable,
And your eyes too much to name a shade.

(c) 2016 Indigo Kenna

How can I say I want something
When I honestly want nothing?
I am empty, and full of all the things I'm
Supposed to hate
And I have no desire to make them leave.
So cut off all my limbs and let me die,
Please,
For I live no longer
From this point on.

(c) 2015 Indigo Kenna