no amount of wonder
is ever wasted on you
you’re made of stardust
magic, a periwinkle blue
no worries, no scary
monsters in the night
could frighten you
the horrors persist
and baby, so do you
your heart is strong
your lungs capable
your feet will take you
wherever you want to go
the distance between
now and whenever
is whatever you want it to be

you don't know how much love I can give
you worry about the abyss, the dark
you worry no one will remember you
but I have written you into everything
your eyes, the way they see
your mouth, the way it speaks

you don't know how much love I can give
if you let me trace you, then put you on paper
if you let me, I will leave behind enough words
for them to see your shape, your soul  
you have nothing to be anxious about
because
I will write you
I will love you
until the bittersweet end.

this is how much love I can give:
everything I have done, have written
is for you
and this love will be left behind
and you, my love, will be remembered
sleep quietly tonight

i hope she soothes you
menthol cool in the summer heat
her words should be honeyed, syrupy
enough to make you sweet

i hope she holds you
gentle like a slow river bend
her hands must be soft and dainty
her voice must be heaven sent

i hope she loves you
enough to rebuild earth’s gravity
shakes its core, halts its orbit
a love that changes reality

i hope she forgives you
endlessly, for every mistake
you deserve to be adored
a love that melts to your taste

the letters used to taste vanilla sweet
they now stick in my throat cloyingly
it is so hard to pronounce,
a four syllable reminder of you
the shape of your name
has its edges sharpened
has its corners sticking out

(my mouth moves to kiss the air before tugging
the corners of my mouth back into a sneer
then i open my mouth twice, chomping
at the ends of your name, ending in a scream)

i used to trace it nightly
the slopes of your initials in my palms -
it was a river bend in its grace
it was a story in gentle motion
it was daybreak with lilac skies

now, your name is stuck in my throat
refuses me relief, refuses me reprieve
in a decade, in a second
perhaps then it will stop hurting
and yet the thought of that scares me
i want your name to hurt -
it is, i think, some semblance of love
i want to choke in it before i give it up