He wears his darkness like a crown
i try to hide mine into the ground
His darkness when comes playing around,
my dug up **** wants to get out,
They play through the night
jumping off high cliffs,
But in the end
he and i
are left with bruised lips.

He has seen demons
and they still haunt him,
So he made himself a devil
from within

When scars run deep
Doubts run deeper

Its not you
Its me that i fear

You think i am perfect
I thought so too
I was blind, i just couldn't see
There is a world beyond me

You think the things that shine
Will light your world
But sometimes
The light can be a blur

You will see
When the light fades
Its not all the gold
That you think it is
Its not the light that starts from within
Its a cover , its a disguise
Because there are things
Behind the shine
I am trying to hide.

My mind twists and turns at night..
With words craving to rhyme.
They form themselves in a sentence.
They make me take a note
and a pretend .
that i am the one having the upper hand
but its the other way around
they tell me so
They tell me if i wont write them down
they will leave me and go
Its funny
i know

I have written too many


I wont tell you my feelings
I have told them
to many

If telling you and writing to you
would make you believe
I would write a book and read it to you..

But i know it wont be enough
I know it wont be true
Some of it will only be
So that i could make this look good

Good doesn't lasts
And so we wont too
But i know one thing
That you have made me better
That you have made me true

Those words have meaning because they are actually meant for you .
I wont show but i do care for you

I know you are hard to b with ..
I know i am not easy to understand..
But we will try and make this work
Until the pages of it all lasts..

Focus on one thing and the rest fades away.
And that's the first step i take to get away.
From you and the memories that try to make there way.
Through my mind , and my heart
all the way
they try to stay
I push them
They come back!
Staring me to back
from this crackhouse !
House that you and me build
Made of distance
And now guilt

There are so many things i want to say ..
So many words that want out
So many feelings
So many thoughts
Everything is clogged up ,threatening to spill out.
Words ringing in my head asking me to drink it down.
Knocking me off my feet ,trying to pull me down.
I look up and see a mocking face, challenging me to stand back up.
Daring me with a stare
How can i stand up back up
How can i fight , when you are on the enemy line

A hopeless laugh come up my mouth
But its a sob that escapes out.
I try to be brave
Then i see the face.
My strength comes crashing down.

I look around ,you cannot make me out
i want to survive
i am seeking you out.
but you are on the other side
turning around
tuning me out

Words, gifts all cease to matter

When you call and no one picks
It hits you like a kick.
When you cry, and no one is ready to sit.

it doesnt matter
When you are in pain
you think there is nothing to gain
because all you want are actions.
Action to say that you matter,
shielding you from the kick ,
giving you a shoulder ,
making you bolder,
Action is what makes you stronger

Words n gifts will start to matter
when we have a fight
and i could still call you later

Words will matter when i am ready to give up,
and you are ready for a battle.

Too many secrets
Too many stories
Its an ocean , i have held it in my heart
Its good to drown
Its good to stop
Its good that i have them, good to get lost.
In the secrets, in the stories i forget my past , forget my being , forget my scars

I hold them tight
I hold them close
Because they give me hope
They tell me that i am not alone
There are too many stories that are not told.

They say to be near you I say I cannot breathe
They say to stand by you I say my knees are weak
They say he loves you I say I need to get away from you
They say to give it a chance I say was there ever a chance?
They say you are good for me I say bad things happen when you care.
I say lets get together and then they say oh is he your forever?

I can't keep you close if you are running away.
I can't heal if you are the one whose hurting me.
I can't hold on if you are letting this go.
I can't breath if you just leave.

I don't want this to end , but I am not willing to beg.
I don't want you , but I do so much.
It scares me and you know it does.

If you will stay I can't promise you sunshine.
But I do promise I will give you time .
To know me better , to understand me
I know I am not an easy person to be.
If you promise to stay and not walk away.
I promise to try each day
To make it better ,  to make US worth
To make you choose me ,
Even if I am not so perfect as I pretend to be
I promise to do whatever it takes..
But you have to promise me you will stay .

Stay for the nights I thought about you .
Stay for the days I hugged you .
Stay for the time when you thought I was made for you .
Please stay ,for me and you .

Its not going to be an easy journey
U know my flaws and I know yours.
But how can you ignore the thing that draws
You to me and me to you .
How will you ignore the smile you said I have that made you smile .
The funny faces you thought were adorable.
The little things that binds you to me .
The things you have to remember when you counting my flaws .
The things you have to remember while walking out of OUR.
The things you have to remember when you angry at me
The things that made you love me.

its just the matter of your choice... you can remember why you chose him...or why dint you chose nebdy else :) <3

....either u can chose to keep in mind the words  HE said to you wen he was angry....or his reason of getting angry on you...

you can chose to c how he tells you u look ugly...or just dress up more carefully d next time just to make him say u look beautiful..

you can chose to remember all his faults...or you can chose to remember all of yours

you can chose to suffer his mood swings...or you can chose to remember yours...

you can chose to stay...or just chose to go away..

Yet you stay. Holding onto me, yet you stay, reaching
out a hand that I push away. The cold is not meant for you
yet you stay, you stay, you stay. When I know it’s not right
for you.
The ice fills my veins and I can’t feel the pain, yet you’re
there like the heat that sends me screaming in fear.
I can’t feel the warmth I need to feel the ice. I want to
hold it all in and numb it till I can’t feel the knife.
Your heat threatens to melt it all and I know I can’t bear
the pain if the ice melts away.
So I push you away and I scream out your name and I
know I can’t need you yet you give anyway and I run
wishing you would run too.
Yet you stay. Holding onto me yet you stay reaching out
a hand that I push away. The cold is not meant for you yet
you stay, you stay, you stay. When I know it’s not right for
you.
The blackness is my shield. I pull it closer still.
You’re the light that I hide from, the light that I hate.
You’re the light to this darkness and I can’t let you stay.
I need the dark around me like I need the ice in my veins.
The cold is my healer. The cold is my safe place. You
aren't welcome with your heat you don’t belong beside me.
I hate you yet I love, I don’t want you yet I need you.
The dark will always be my cloak and you are the threat
to unveil my pain, so leave. Leave and erase the memories.
I need to face the life that’s meant for me. Don’t stay and
ruin all my plans.

you are so annoying...

you are so complicated..

you bring drama to my life..

you laugh at me...

you laugh with me...

you know all bout my crushes...

you know all bout my life every single detail..

you make me smile...

you irritate me..

you are my "philosophic talker"

you my "******* taker"

you give all wrong advises..

you scream at me with CAPITAL LETTERS..!! :)

you make me smile with all the "awwww..."

you are with me day and night..!!

and wen u get upset with me nothings all right..!! :(

even if people call us "lesbians" I DON'T CARE..!!!

because i know we have our share of crushes...lovers and admirers...that v both only know of..!!! :)

you have seen me in my bad..u have seen me in my best..

you have seen me going "tomboy " to "girly" for a guy..!! :)

you criticize me...i abuse you...and that is what makes us Best Friends Forever..!!!

i know i have ******* you royally..!! i know i have irritated you no end..!! thank you for bearing it all...thank you for standing by me!! thank you for taking my ****..!! and lastly...thank you for STICKING AROUND AND LISTENING TO ME..!!!!!

LOVE YOU LOADS..!!!

P.S : We are not BFFs... WE ARE..

: Best Friend For Life Like Sisters And Always I Love You..!!!

i am not good with words and you know that...
i am not a very good friend and you know that...
i sometimes act as weird as possible and you know that too...
i ***** up plans and you make them again...
i make fun of you and you beat me with your stupid logic...
i show you a guy and you tell me he's booked for you...
i force you to go ahead with a guy and you  force me not to..
i am single  and you are ready to mingle...and wen i am with someone you are single ..
i give you stupid excuses and you give me weird reasons...
i scream you smile...
i laugh you get angry..
You My Darling can give me a HEAR ATTACK Simply By Not talking to me...

Forgive Me for Liking you too much,
I'll forgive you for not liking Me even a bit...

Forgive Me for the loud racing of My Heart,
I'll forgive you for not hearing it.
... ...
Forgive Me for finding you amazing,
I'll forgive you for never noticing.

Forgive Me for wanting to be with You more than anything,
I'll forgive You for avoiding Me & ignoring me always..

Forgive Me for not being able to let go,
I'll forgive You for never holding on...

Forgive me for still loving u madly...
i'll forgive u for calling me mad .. :(

M so messed up right now...
M so lonely right now..
Come rescue me from this big bad world...
Come hold my hand n take me away...
Rescue me from the world where people just think of themselves..
Will go to a place where we are by ourselves..
Will not think bout tomorrow...
Today will be ours...
Just you and me together...
N no one will bother..

Just stand with me and hold me tight...
Because i don't wanna face this world...there is too much light...

Just stand by me and look in my eyes...
So that i can look back all the people who give me stares...

Stand  by me when everyone is blaming me...
so that i don't  feel as alone as i feel now...

stand  by me wen i want something.
so that i dun have to fight for everything..

stand by me wen nothings is right..
so that i can just hold ur hand n feel alright..

just stand by me no matter what...
stand by me wen m wrong...
stand by me and scold me bad...
but never leave my side because i may die...

Some days are better than the most..
Some days are easier to live through..
Some days your best friend doesn't get you...
Some days you don’t get your best friend…
Some days its easier to ignore people than face them and answer there questions..
Some days its easier to shut them up…
Some days you are strong and independent…
Some days you are weak and vulnerable..
Some days you want to lock yourself in a room…and on some days you just want to open up your wings and fly…
But now a days its been cold…and ignorant…as if nothing is effecting me…as if I m not trying to pull back whatever I am losing…as if there is no one to look upto…no one rely on…all alone dragging through days…listing to people..listing to there taunts…listening them insulting me….seeing them playing with me…with my emotions…no one really know me yet they think they know me so well…I wonder what happened to ME ! I wonder why everything is changing…why everything is so perfect yet so empty…things that used to matter to me..i don’t bother to give it a second look….i wanted to learn the art of letting go of things…because nothing is going to stay..my father dint..my mother’s marriage dint..My friends dint…I DINT…stay the way I used to be…may be I wanted this…maybe I wanted to be alone…then why is this bothering me…I wanted to LET GO of everything…now that I have mastered this art…is it wrong? Wasn't I supposed to let go of everything? Wasn't I suppose not to try hard to convince people to stay? Because I know they wont…maybe I doubt them too fast..Maybe I should not let go so easily..Maybe I should fight…but what if it doesn't work? What if I loose whatever I fought for? What if its not worth it..?

Want to b called special frm sum1...

Want to b held by sum1 so close dat i cnt breath...out of sheer happiness..

Want to be touched by sum1 so gentle...dat my heart beat goes on with unlimited speed...

Want to be teased by sum1 to whom i c n jus cannot stop myself to blush..

Want to go out with sum1...who is as sophisticated as anyone and as mad as anyone could be..

Want to be pulled closed to him....

Want to be scolded by him..

Want him to *** and meet me when m sad.. n even when m not..

Want to feel his presence with me..even if he s just on d phone with me..

Want to just wrap myself in his arms and forget the world..

Want him to come to me with all his problems and worries...dont want him to think its boring me...

Want him to bore me with all his nonsense toks..so dat i can bore him with myn..

Want to sleep in his arms and wake up in his bed...

Want to have his smell all over me..

Want to wear his shirt.. just to tell him that m his..

Want to tell him that no1 else has ever made me feel the way he has..n no1 else will ever will..

Want to tell him that m his..n wants to hear  him say that he is mine..

Want him to want me as much as i want him...

Want him need me...as much as i need him...

shudnt talk to you ..
coz u my opposite...
coz u r moody...
Coz u make me sad...
coz u get angry at me all d tym...
coz u total dog sumtyms ..
coz u r d one who has kissed so many girls.....
coz u dun trust neone....
coz u don't tellme how u feel at all..
Or jus mayb I shud talk to u?

Coz Mayb opposites attract...
Mayb coz u apologize with smileys that makes me smile ... .
Mayb coz u cn make me smile even if u r d reason m sad...
Mayb cz I get angry at u n u laugh at me..
Mayb cz I cn b a ***** at tyms too..
Mayb cz I want to kiss u..
Mayb cz I trust u..
Maybin d hope dat u will tellme how u feel .. Sumday !

u left  , i cried ..
I cried not because you were gone ...but because all these years when I  gave you space in my life... in my heart ,I gave you my time, my thoughts !

And when  you left.. Its the emptiness that u left behind The empty space , the lost time ,the fading thoughts ,the forgotten  memories and the habit of having you around that made it difficult for me to continue ..

To continue my life the way it was before .. The way it was when you were not there, the way any normal person would be .. But now all I got is an empty space , space waiting to be filled again with vain memories , stupid conversations and lots n lots of time.. Time I spend with You !

I have disappointed her so much but she never stops expecting , never given up hope and has never left any of my wishes go waste !  Its her strength we have survived on, its her love we will live by ! So if anyone says I look like my mother , I would  only hope that I become like her too ! :)

Love is , the process of expecting and disappointing .
We disappoint the person we love , we expect from the person we love and the courage to hang in there and make it till the end makes life worth the while !

Everything ..anybody does..it reminds me of you..
if a guy cracks a silly joke ..i want to share it with you.

If a guy makes a pass at me...i wnt to tell u how silly he looked.. :p

if something happens around me...u d first one i want to share it with...

sometimes i get a satisfactry reaction...and sumtyms ur reactions make me angry..

but now i noe that ur reaction doesnt make me angry...u suprise me and dats the thing i like about u.. u are one unexpected thing... :)

but now evrythings gone.. u r gone...

u said u wont leave.. i made u promise me that u woudnt leave...selfish  me.. :).

but who can ever stop a blowing wind.. whoever has tried is left with  nothin but a broken home!

and now m left with nothin but my safe heart...which i have been trying to protect...when i pushed you away

i hoped u will pull me closer to u..but when have u done anything like i have alwys hoped :) and thats one thing i like and hate bout u.. :)

Have we ever sat back and realised that the relations we say we have with us ..left ... How much have we valued them ?
Why is it that the relations ...that dint work out , were too complicated ,dint have a chance with etc are the relations which have caused us pain ?
Why not the relations we already have caused us any pain ?
Because we have lost track of them .. we take them for granted .. we know we have them that is why we don't try to keep them safe !
When was the last time you did something out of Love and not to PROVE something ?
When. Was the last time you did something because it makes others feel good about themselves rather than yourself ?
When was the last time you did something to cherish ur relation and not cry over the lost one ?

Isn't it strange ..
The relationships we build over the period of time are meant to fade away ,
The bond we share with one person tends to weaken ,
The friends ship we try to make , always have to sail away.

And yet , we like fools tend to hold onto them until they weaken US mentally and emotionally !

Sometimes when I look back I realize that those heartbreaks I got were because of the way I was..
Too straightforward
Too clingy
Too caring
Too loving
I can remember the discomfort in those eyes when I announced the relation
Was I too much to handle?
Was it shameful? To have me? I could nt wonder more I can't ..
Bringing me back to the present .. The past haunting me .. Telling me my mistakes .. Telling me what I should not do .. Telling me to place my heart in a safe box.. And the one willing to open it will find the key ...
But who has ever learned ? Heartbreak after Heartbreak ... Tears after Tears .. What you do learn is how to become more vulnerable .. How someone shows you one act of love and you are yet again on your knees begging for attention... Begging for more ...