i cant even think straight anymore?
this is the first time im writing with out you to write back.
but why would you care?
you didnt want to write back in the first place?
why would i care about what you thought when i clicked the publish button?
electricity ran through my heart waiting for you to comment.
yeah; **** it.... i dont want to write poems any more.
because of you.

i cannot tell who you are
by the swing of your step
and i cannot follow your heart
when no path is set.
but if you feel the strongest burst
to follow through
even when it hurts
you my dearest,
will be my hero
which can save me from this place;
your love can take me away..

The last time i've ever seen your eyes,
I flash back, and now I start to cry,
these feelings,
are falling,
this is our last trial,
and its starting with denial.
So take me down,
yeah drag me under..
they say that we're young,
but maybe we're just stronger....

Now flash back,
can you see my mother?
Your half ***,
and the stupid endeavor....
I hate this,
my head is spinning faster now,
I can't find,
one more reason,
to waste time,
for all of your treason..

i gave you every sign,
you are on my mind.
im sorry i upset you,
You care i know you do.
im scared to show me to you....
you know you are my world,
and im your baby girl,
but im affraid of heart break,
i hope you understand.. ): <3

ashes, they fall conspicuously around my enabled body as if they were not there at all.
burns, spread across my stomach as if they were wild fire ripping through the silent night.
regrets, flowing through my mind as if I were mesmerized by the fact I shall not succeed.
love, flows in my veins, my veins roam my body until they reach their end. love, it overcomes us all, but we chose to be taken in....

they have told me no more than once that youre not good,
and they dont know what i think they should,
ive liked you for long enough,
ik its hard and a little bit tough,
but thats how this works it a simple game,
and if you will youll have great fame,
the rules we will hold hands, hug, kiss, and snuggle..
the first one to fall in love loses.. <3

the last time i checked..
i wasn't at all perfect..
but do you think that i care?
that's not me..
never was;
never will be..
i don't want to be perfect..
because in my book....
perfect is fake.
and fake isn't me..
so can we all get over it?
this is reality..
and if you think you're perfect..
you might want to change your name to barbie;
live in your pretty little house,
with the family you had to buy.
sorry but..
perfectisn'tme<3

do they know what my mind consumes and chants when all civilization is hushed and I am lerking these halls like a snake, slithering from room to room, tile to tile. do they know what my days are without my grandfather? I long for his touch, I'm starved of his love, his luring hugs and ensuring promises.... do they know that I'm desperate for that one last promise to become real not just false hope. do they realize that my dreams are filled with his brave, strong, superior face? or do they know that I have written so many sad, pathetic notes to him that I can't come to tell myself will never get to him, never to be seen by his eyes, heard by his ears, touched by his hands, engraved in his mind....

no, they don't because if they even took a second to take a walk in my shoes, hand in hand with the troubles that I face, they wouldn't try to tell me who I am, they wouldn't try to say that I'm the bad guy, no.. they would understand why I don't want to make friends with my enemies.... they wouldn't judge me, no, they would only be able to spit two simple words that have never been said **I'm sorry

And the grace in your eyes,
and the swing in your step,
and you walk down the isle,
love holding your very hand..
you look back and cry,
at the times that passed bye,
and how you felt was undeniable..
you were young,
and dumb,
and all but in love,
but you thought it was the real thing.
With fortune and trust,
a future of lust,
you could not walk away....
you looked in her eyes,
and spoke a sweet melody,
it's heart ache and pain to get through.

i feel so alone,
as if a single word changed us all..
as if i am this new reason,
that you wont catch me when i fall..
im taking second thoughts,
of love, is it lost?
i've fallen into this,
its easy yet so hard..

and until the summer comes again,
you my dear are my only friend.
until i fall upon the clock,
time spins slowly..
tick
              tock

I know,
your dreams,
they're calling out your name,
luring you in,
away from this small town.

I know,
your choice,
it's ringing in my ears,
taking control,
just like I feared.

so when you go,
and leave this town,
as you watch this skyline,
burn to the ground,
when you return..

I wont be here,
not in this house,
I will be searching,
searching for you,
when will I find you?

you have deprived me of everything that i have ever had with you or any other person that i have had time to get close with. so one more thing cannot hurt me anymore than you have already;
all i ask is you leave me be,
so i do not have to be reminded of our yesterdays..
i wish to forget you and....
i wish to flee this place;
because every time i glance around,
i am drowned by the memory of you.
these thoughts haunt me..
and they keep me from moving forward....
so all i ask is you stay out of everything i do right and everything that does me wrong.

im absolutely fed up.

just a month,
that's all it's been?
all that time,
i've spent with him.
at least six months;
a year at most.
cause in one month,
we've grown so close.
nine fourteen,
means more to me,
now that this is "we"

and i know now im falling,
even harder than before,
its like a shock of lust,
more than i asked for.

can you feel what i am feeling,
do you see it on my face,
the words that your speaking,
fit perfectly in place.

dance with me till sun down,
take me by the hand,
lead me to fortress,
until we cannot stand.

i'd walk with you for miles,
days or even weeks,
months are all i ask for,
in your arms i shall sleep.

im falling.
and slowly losing breath.
taking apart everything you ever said.
holding back my fears.
dealing with the pain.
caught in the world.
where everyone's insane.
clawing at the walls.
taring apart my finger tips.
feeling so much pain.
to live or to love.
to laugh with out the past.
to feel the way i wish.
with out a spell cast.

little white flowers,
fallen to the ground,
her small silent cries,
are no where to be found.
he sees her there all alone,
but no where near her does he go..

that smile that you planted into my mind,
its driving me crazy,
im starting to unwind..
the way you kissed my cheek when you wanted my attention,
the way i fell the need to remember your name is one i can not mention..
i thought i had it all,
when you were in my arms,
but i guess i was fooled,
cause that was one of your charms..
we always said i love you,
but neither of us even knew what love was..
for all we knew,
love was hanging out on the weekends and being snuggle buddies..
the fact that kisses just came so easily.. where did that go, we lost everything..
and we didnt even realize it till it was gone..

its okay, i fear you not,
you are but a shadow,
left to haunt, I've opened up,
to show you me, you snuck inside,
so you could see, every fear,
that i possess, and every tear,
that left me a mess....

the world will not come to an end;
over all in its nature;
it will come to a sudden stand still;
when everything stops dead;
as what it is today..

you know this world is turned upside down and i can't seem to place my finger on the right place to land. its almost like everywhere that you are able to turn you are still facing me and no matter how many times i try to push it all away, it all comes back. yeah i guess you could say that in some shape or form im beyond crazy and that im out of my mind but if you were to ask me i dont think that i would agree at all. i feel like its more down the path of 'im confused about the happily ever after' part of the story. because face it; nothing ends with the perfect couple or this beautiful damsel in distress. haha.. no everything ends REAL and to all of the people that keep wishing upon shooting stars and waiting for 11:11 to come around you need to open your eyes, you aren't going to get anything out of a life that you are blind in; everything worth having is worth fighting for and that is the ONLY way that you are going to get it.

Save me from these awful threats,
all around I see him, dead..
I wonder how I sleep at night,
from all those tears that I still fight.
I know he's there to watch me fall,
He was my hottest summer, coldest winter,
and my greatest down fall....
So if you see me shed a tear,
come tell me what I wish to hear..
tell me that he remembers me,
and thinks about me every day.
tell me even if it's not,
that everything will be okay.

i'd take back every word i said to him if i could.
take back every kiss that was shared between him and i.
every necklace and ring.
the songs i used to sing.
they are gone.
i regret everything.
if i could replace every memory with you.
i would. i love the way you write me poems and kiss me
i love the way you hug me from behind and kiss my neck.
i love you not him.
you are absolutely amazing
not even just to me,
to everybody..
every time i talk to them,
they bring you up.
they say you're cute..
until i mention that you are mine..
then they walk away.
i don't want to lose you,
and i know i never will,
you tell me all the time.
and you say not to worry.
but its so hard to have you be all mine <3
i love you.
i love you.
i love you.
*i love you.

i lose everything,
you take my breath away,
my heart skips,
i dont know where to go,
but you arent here to see me now,
so remember what i looked like,
tomorrow i might not be here..
so take me for granted,
just kiss me like you mean it..

runaway with me,
we can go anywhere,
to be alone,
in a world of so many..

kiss my hand,
dont let me fall,
keep me close,
just so i know,
youre here for me,
no matter what..

now let me go,
and ill come back,
i love you,
and thats a fact <3

waiting in the way that nobody ever thought to look,
falling in the dream chance that nobody ever took..

breathe,
in
don't forget me now,
as time flies.
out
try thinking of me and you,
the day we met.
in
I was with your best friend,
but we both knew what would happen.
out
the second our eyes met,
I wanted you.
in
you wanted me.
out
....
in
don't let go <3

i know that i say things,
but so do all of you,
you dont understand that words have meanings,
much bigger than you think they do,
they may come out so easily,
but time after time,
day after day,
words break you down,
you feel like you are trapped and nothing can save you,
you feel like youre short of breath as the reality of this collapses around you,
afraid,
hurt,
tear stained cheeks that wont go away,
you are officially scared,
sorry cant cover things up,
you cannot tell any body that you meant different,
so speak what you mean,
and what you wish for people to hear..
but keep in mind,
as soon as you let the words leave your mouth,
they have a consequence,
and the outcome is out of your hands.

i've found a way to become who you wish i was;
take you down to a open feild,
release the doves.

i've found a way to become who you wish i could always be;
take you to my room,
as your body covers me.

i've found a way to make you mine;
hold you tight,
we'll be just fine.

i began to smile as the very breath leaves my body.
my eyes role back.
my body goes numb.
i shake.. as you stand there with tear stained cheeks....
i cant tell what you feel..
or if youre even going to help me.
but im gone.. and i now realize where i stood with yoou.... /:

its okay, i fear you not,
you are but a shadow,
left to haunt, I've opened up,
to show you me, you snuck inside,
so you could see, every fear,
that i possess, and every tear,
that left me a mess....

deprived of the right to breathe..
told not to listen..
left in a room, with nothing but paper and a pen..
instructions on the wall..
left to instruct all..
write down what your mind has brought to you
she looks at her hands..
picks the pencil up and records on the paper..
"i wish not to breathe and told not to listen,
this room is nothing but lonesome despare, let me out.."
the first tear falls, and the words disapear..

In all aspects of being loved, there are various imperfections or mistakes able to make.
Along with these aspects comes trust. Trust isn't an object, nor an emotion.. trust is a natural instinct. From the day we are delivered in our pink or blue blankets; we cannot be taught the right way to trust a person, we can only learn from one on one living confrontations. For example, if you or I chose right now to trust that lonely forgotten homeless man on the side of the street, that is our decision.... nothing but the mistreatment of my trust can show me different.

Where does that leave me,
Disowned, unwelcome.

Do the words that I said even ring a bell?
Do you remember crossing my path,
Let's stop one second, do this math.

If I were you, and you were me,
where would we even be?
I took you down this street before,
lost.
we knocked on every single door.
knock.

"hello my dear" that woman said, with a gleam in her eyes,
"who could it be you're looking for?"
"come on child, aren't you sure?"
I replied a simple name, Bill....
She crossed her arms and glared at me,
he passed away,
cancer
it made him weak....

I backed away, and shook my head,
thought out loud,
"he cant be dead,
this just cant be,
bill was my world,
so where does that leave me.... ?"

taken
in
by
simple
lies
easy
lines
falling
down
im
on
the
ground
­gasping
for
a
single
breathe
take
me
in
and
keep
me
alive
.

fading in to this scene,
we feel the paper hold between,
a broken world and a lonely soul,
who knew love would take this toll.

a lighter burns two feet away,
i guard the flame so it's okay.
i know that this will hurt,
but i only care for what it's worth.

in to the deep, dark, despair that i know as my mind,
im afraid, let alone the fact that i have nothing,
no family, friends, loved ones....
i have nothing to take in to mind after a long day of wondering and hoping,
working and thinking....
about where i ever went wrong....
will i ever find my answer or will my fears just grow deeper? ....

i love you,
its simply said,
i love you,
its in my head..

i know you're here,
and i am there..
but in my mind,
you're every where..

back and fourth,
we share a smile,
and into your arms,
i'll stay a while..

i never want to say goodbye,
i never want to see you cry,
i never want to break your heart,
cause i loved you from the start..

i love you more than you'll ever know,
i love you more than i ever thought i would,
i love you more than you love me,
i love you most <3

they spent every day together since the day they met
but nobody thought that they would end up being so different in the end....
she loved him more than anything
but to him she was just his best friend;
his other half.
there was no hiding that they would tell each other how they felt
but there was no way to take back how she felt..

everything changes.

has a single word i said passed through your mind?
entering the realm of reality?
have you evern began to listen to me speak?
ive been going on and on for so long.
dont you know i care?
do you even realize that im no there?
cause snap out of it..
youre reading a letter..
pretending that i am reading in to you.
should i just give up?
should i carry on writting if i know you wont read it..
our future is depending on this.
does that matter anymore?
did it ever matter to begin with?

im cold, and lonely..
broken beyond repair.
i can only imagine
your fingers in my hair.
as you kiss my neck,
i look back and check....
but youre not there,
this house is bare.
silent screams,
echoing..
shattering the window panes,
the chilling sounds,
driving me insane....
this house,
this house will be the death of me....

i saw with my eyes,
so many lies,
i walked on this ground,
not truth to be found,
i fell for your trick,
your lies were so sick,
i kissed you in the rain,
but could not wash away my pain,
i thought that we were perfect,
but you lied,
you're not worth it..

should it matter that you are so many miles away;
that i am here waiting for your return?
would you call me crazy if i told you;
every time i hear our song;
i pick up the phone to call and realize i can't.
does it really matter that you are there and i am here..
to me it does not.
love is not a judgement of distance,
love is waking up knowing that the person you are with today;
is who you really want to be with tomorrow.

the times when i can't make it through.
when my mind rambles.
i think of you..
the moment that i fall alseep.
your face is all i see....
when im crying and broken down.
i look for you.
please turn around.
keep me safe.
keep me sound.
walk with me to the end of time.
write me a song.
sing me every line.
i fell so fast and hard and yet.
it is your heart,
i cant seem to get.
lock me up and open my key..
kiss me quick,
kiss me sweet <3

im trapped in this state of mind,
a state that i can not feel the way i wish,
there is only one true person to tell us who to be,
that person is not you,
and is not me....
that person is sacred,
found only in your head,
now dont hold back,
dont waste time,
join my sacred state of mind <3

hello heart,
       hello heart, how do you do. did you here i love you ?
have you fell out of my chest, have you taken my one last breathe?
well today you found this one little mind,
the one you want, for all of time.
a fragile kid, sense of soul.. ahaha, juuuust kidding.
you broke a while ago.. but the problem is, you are about to fall in love with a boy, so brace your self <3

-- the broken girl you live inside of [:
P.S.... don't give up _52511

ive been gone so long;
these people and their words,
they seem like strangers at least,
soaking into my mind.

these perfectly laid words,
fallen upon my screen,
make me start to wonder,
why can't that write be me?

amazing people's thoughts..
stuck on electronic sheets,
try taking a pen and paper,
its not as easy as it seems.

liquid night,
drowning me in all my foolish regrets,
taking the very words out of my mouth,
you see, but turn your head.
im taken under by the lack of interest invested in this case,
and over come by the pain across your face.
and louder,
and louder,
this liquid night begins to call;
aware of the silent climb,
unaware of the fall.