hello old friend,
can you hear me?
hear me calling?
screaming out your name..
wondering if you're there..
am i even sane?
call out for a doctor,
help me help myself.
im lost with out your guide..
i feel as if im wasting time....

a simple moment,
that's all it takes..
to shed a tear,
and feel the pain it makes.

now try to tell me that every one of my poems mean noting....
now kick me while im down..
trash me,
brake me.

see how long it takes to say im sorry..
or it's not my fault,
because that day will never come,
you just weren't the one.

I'm glad you're back,
The space you left while you were gone was cold,
I wasn't quite sure if you would talk to me,
But the choice you made was very bold,
I love to see you move along,
With terrible poems....
I miss being close, but its just a secret now,
I wish you knew all of this some how....
So be my secret friend again,
It's nights like these I've missed,
Nights like these that have no ends.

along the path you set for me,
i came across a skeleton key,
off the side there was a tag,
the words i read seemed to lag,
i caught my breath and read aloud,

*take this key, i have endowed,
find my weakness.... break me down.

he is but a stranger,
with words of the wise.

i'd ask his name,
but he might lie.

he is a brave heart,
true to his poems.

but always a stranger,
in which i know.

Dear "friend",

      you see my pain from when you left,
you never gave me a reason.. or a goodbye.
I have yet to over come my feelings, my hurt,
but most of all, I have yet to over come you.
It's like when I see you, my heart stops,
just by the thought of what was once there.
You had me wrapped around your little finger,
but for some reason you didn't want me there.
I'm not sure what I did wrong....
I'm not sure if you really know how I felt about you,
your family, your smile, your laugh....you....
while I sit here I regret not asking you.
But it's far to late to ask for a reason why you left,
and it is far to late to ask you to care.
But Dear "Friend", please just know;
I wish you were there.

I know that was our last,
The once upon a time,
The happily ever after,
But I never believed in
Love at first sight....
You just got lucky.

just a summer breeze in the quiet morning, the sudden fall of a maple leave, a golden kiss of a dragonfly, and the silent flutter of a sparrows wings.

its summer in the afternoon, falling into night, talking amongst their selves, and kissing under the bridge..

the warm hushed night has come to be, a simple wish just you and me, a faster trip to the tree were you once said you love me <3

want me,
no....
crave me

don't bother trying to control the feeling
that desire,
that need,
don't try to cover it up or hide it behind something else.

i see right through it all.

I sat today and thought over a thousand times about this.
It has been roaming in my mind for the past day or two.
I just wish that there was a much easier way that I could tell you.
I wish that you would automatically know when you look at me.
But that is not an option in this.
I wish that there was one hundred hours in the day so I could sit
in the oak tree and pluck off all it's leafs.
But that is not a option I want to take.
I guess that I am  just trying to say that ten years from now,
I want you to be the one holding me and keeping me safe
from all possible harm that comes my way....
Bit i know that is not an option for me.

thanks,
i love when,
i tell you one thing..
and the rumors over power
my voice.... congrats babe....
you got me?
so don't bother calling me..
i won't answer.
im going to bed....
to think this through,
cause after all....
i thought i could trust you. )':

justin; i know you might not read this;
but your faith is my bliss !?
youre what i miss....
(friendship wise)
a relationship wasted our time;
so please just admit
i never meant ****
you took me in
thinking you could fool me;
but i wish you could have told me
you made me smolder
when i wish you just let me burn;
but what can i do now
that lesson's learned
and never again will i say those words
to you;
but you say them
to her..

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry..... i love you):

its just another poem,

its simply just one line,

its just one more thing,

that will waste my time,

i thought that i was done,

with all of your lies,

but no im looking back,

now i start to cry,

i feel the same way,

i felt when you left,

there can not be words,

if there is no breath,

a heart cannot bleed,

every drop of blood,

but when you broke it off,

you dropped me in the mud,

im broken and alone,

please pick up the phone,

i have one last thing,

i feel the need to say,

listen close and listen well,

all i was was a kiss and tell..

not to brag,
not to lag,
not to sound rude,
and not to have an additude,
but days like these,
tell me truths,
youre fake,
you get and take,
i hate you,
you love me,
your a *****,
and ugly <3

i pity you, you stupid *****,
cause all you are is ****** ****,
you think you are the best of all,
but i'll be there when you fall,
i hate your guts,
more than you know,
so please go die,
you ******* *** <3

Maybe someday i will be able to erase you from my mind.
maybe someday i'll have th courage to be able to drive by your house and not look at it and remember piggy back rides and my legs around your waste as you kissed me.
maybe i'll be able to hold somebody's hand without wishing he was you.
maybe i will finally be able to write something happy in my poetry book.
maybe im actually done with you not beliving anything that i tell you.
maybe im fed up with all the stupid crap you've caused in my life.
maybe i want my life to be like it was before i had met you.
maybe i want my mom's trust and the old relationship we had back.
maybe i wish my family didn't know how i felt about you.
maybe i wish my mom didn't cry over the fact that i blame you for everything that happened.
maybe i wish i never texted you back after you said you loved me.
maybe someday.. just maybe....

four years;
you have put me through hell.
i reached my breaking point;
but only i can tell.
she has taken everything away from me;
let me down,
please let me be.
for those who stood by my side;
there are others who washed me away like tides.
i have nothing else to live for, im so sorry.
i just wanted to say goodbye because by the time you read this,
i will be on the floor in the first floor school bathrooms,
laying lifeless, but still breathing..
then; only then will you all believe what i say..
this is the end,
i rue this day....

J'aime la façon que vous me regardez,
Vos yeux si brillants et bleus.
J'aime la façon que vous m'embrassez,
Vos lèvres si molles et lisses.

J'aime la façon que vous me rendez si heureux,
Et les façons que vous vous montrez se soucient.
J'aime la façon que vous dites, "je Vous aime,"
Et la voie vous êtes toujours là.

J'aime la façon que vous me touchez,
Toujours en envoyant des fraîcheurs en bas mon épine dorsale.
Je l'aime vous êtes avec moi,
Et content que vous soyez les miens.

im being torn apart,
im falling for this boy,
he knows he has my heart,
but to him its just a toy.
he drops me off the book shelf,
and leaves me on the floor,
because the day he said goodbye,
i lost what i adored.
his soft lips,
pressed against mine,
i felt some sort of safety,
but no sense of mind.
because you were only waiting,
until i fell apart,
you simply walked away,
without a sense of heart.

fall in to me,
i am your savior.

kiss my cheek,
i am your savior.

hold me closer,
i am your savior.

don't let me down,
i am your savior.

I remember your voice.
the slow, steady breath
you took between each sentence.

I remember the way you stood.
at a shoulder width stance
yet so relaxed and calm.

I remember the your eyes.
how they lit up in the darkness
and led me stray when closed.

I remember the things you said.
you loved me.
you needed me.
then things changed,
I hated you. I wanted you gone.
now I realize...
I remember

the cool breeze in the hot air,
the fallen leaves on the green grass,
kids in the yard and joyful,
happy?
disapointed?
sad?
confused?
yeah I know the feeling,
you're all alone in a world of 18 million people,
but not even one wants a thing to do with you.... </3

me tourner comme une or finement filée,
pivotant autour d'un oiseau aveugle.
dis-moi que tu m'aimes,
comme si c'était les seuls mots que tu savais.
essayez de ne pas se rappeler tout ce que j'ai vécu.
prends-moi dans, et ne laissez pas aller,
parce que je t'aime ..
c'est tout ce que je sais

i know i say that you are the worst thing to ever happen to me and that i wish to replace you;
but all i felt was friendship with you; when you kissed me.... you had no emotion;
when you held me close to you; i couldnt even feel you breathe....
i know that it doesnt matter now; but did i ever meant a single thing to you?
i lost you as the one i loved;
dont let me lose you as a friend....

"Babe i just want you to smile,

If i dont make you smile,

I will hold grudge for a while,

But i want to go many miles,

To stop for awhile,

to take the time to make u smile <3"

~sorry babe i had too <33!

i know that you can see me, because i clearly see you.
you think you are the best, but you're someone that i once knew.
you meant nothing then, and you mean nothing now,
so it's time to grow up and out of your foolish ways.
i know you're reading this, and thinking that I'm wrong,
but don't you remember when you cheated,
you even wrote that song.
you're a selfish pig, that should be put down.
because every girls you meet,
you say that you're in "love"

Now think again you're the age of 15,
you've been pushed away your whole life,
why would anybody want you now?
so you say I'm the one who deserves your ****?
well think again.
get over yourself cause I'm only saying this once,

"you're like a book, torn, tattered; sitting on a shelf where nobody wants to look."

ha, ring a bell? you told me that and I FOUND HELL.

so, and when you want to jump off that cliff, please save me a push, and jump yourself.

the sound of the suttle rainfall and the fear of the dispiteful thunder haunt me in my mind....
the taunting shadows cast by the moonlight fill the back of my mind with the thought of you....
the puddle on my doorstep is begging me to let it inside....
but i think to myself before i make a remark of any sort.... the thunder booms after the long pause of wonder..
as i walk in the rain i pick out each lightening bolt about twenty feet away with the recognition of the danger that i am now faced with.... i lay on the ground as if i was waiting for that moment where the lightening travels through my very body putting me in this strange stat where i fall up and breathe through my hands; everytime i hold your hand it cuts off my breath.... i become fragile and courageous enough to squeeze tighter and tighter. i awaken from my daze by the sound of thunder.. it sounded so sweet in my mind as it reeved like your harleys engine.... so smooth and like you; quick to react.... the rain is starting to burn my skin as i start to run.... the once fimiliar scenery turns distorted and cold.... im back on my doorstep.... you're gone again.... the storm goes on but i pay no mind to it any longer.... i make my way inside.. i unfold my bedspread and turn the fan on high.. i go lay down in the bed you used to tuck me into.. close my eyes and get ready to see you in my dreams.... 6/13/49 - 6/12/08

I can no longer breathe without the regrets of pushing you away....
my eyes cloud up as my mind reveals our finest memories,
the little time that I had you to call mine.
I failed to inform you as much as I sought out to..
that you are the very thing that keeps me striving to move forward.
you are the very blood in my veins keeping me alive and breathing....
but I could not tell you this.
I could not let you know the things that I held inside,
in fear of rejection.
in fear that the words I longed to speak would push you further than the actions
I had revealed to be me....
I gave you my breath,
and you let it go....
but I forgive you for it all, for you had no intensions of hurting me..
did you?

Wish me luck,
I dearly need it,
with out you,
my fire remains,
unlit
On every single
shooting star,
wish me luck,
and wish me far.
done
Until I find my
desired place,
Help place a smile
upon my face.
Because,
with out luck,
I will not follow,
and in my sorrow,
I will fall.

I sat outside today,
at the top of the hill in the back
With nobody around I sat there,
and I breathed,
so clear and easy
I felt no restraint,
nothing could go wrong.
The sun was high above me,
the air wasn't thick or heavy,
it was soothing.

I lived today, and finally....
I realized what is really worth fighting for.
tomorrow.

this place is hell,
they lock you up and make you quiet,
they take you aside and tell you what you did wrong,
they stare at you until you understand,
they teach you nothing,
they think that they are so **** smart,
but fail you if they don't like you,
i hate stupid people and their high educations..

If only you knew....
The leaves stopped falling,
The birds stopped singing,
The clouds never left after you did.

You took everything with you,
The sunshine,
The memories,
The heartbreaks....

You slowly turned,
From a friend,
To best friend,
To boy friend..
To nothing.

It hurt to see you go,
You were the only thing I had left.
You left me there....
Cold and scarred.

I forgave you so many times..
But none of those "I'm sorry"s
Meant a thing to you.
It was just another word.

I wish you were able to grow on me,
As I did on you.

I wish you regretes the day you left,
As much as I wished you to.

i write now,
not for you,
nor myself..
i write for trust,
i write of lust,
i hear my breath fall..
i fill my head,
with the thought of you,
without regret..
youre something new..
i write with out correction,
without punctuation..
because the love we share needs no correction,
and i trust you dont need to punctuate our love..
i love you,
please know that..
were perfect..
dont forget that..

Closer till i feel your breath on my neck
Closer sending chills down my spine
I entangled my fingers where they had fit in between yours.
even better than it was before.
I curled up against you,
until my head was on your chest,
just under your chin.
you wrapped your strong welcoming arms around my waist,
until you could feel my even slightest breath.
you kiss my neck, and go down.. further.. further
our bodies intertwine..
this would be a night to remember....
we're jumbled up in these strong *** feelings....
maybe it's another way to heal,
or maybe this is how we feel <3

I can no longer breathe without the regrets of pushing you away....
my eyes cloud up as my mind reveals our finest memories,
the little time that I had you to call mine.
I failed to inform you as much as I sought out to..
that you are the very thing that keeps me striving to move forward.
you are the very blood in my veins keeping me alive and breathing....
but I could not tell you this.
I could not let you know the things that I held inside,
in fear of rejection.
in fear that the words I longed to speak would push you further than the actions
I had revealed to be me....
I gave you my breath,
and you let it go....
but I forgive you for it all, for you had no intensions of hurting me..
did you?

your big brown eyes in the autumn light,
everything you said always felt so right,
a broken heart on the edge of your sleeve,
everytime you said i'll never leave,
a secret love,
you had with her,
you even knew that i was hurt,
you called her name down the hall,
my mind went blank,
you saw me fall,
you called her rock,
and she called you back,
my heart was fragile,
put under attack,
you held my hand,
but thought of her,
i found my breathe,
and spoke in your ear,
something you thought,
that you would never hear..
i kissed your cheek and led you stray,
told you not to find your way,
you dropped my heart,
and soon to be,
you broke my heart,
at the age 13..

today dragged on as if i would never see you again....
so every where i went i took another picture..
and another..
taking so many that you could cover miles....
but every single picture i took;
meant more and more to me....
i got attached to the smells and sounds of this city..
the people that walked by..
the tiny street stores and market places..
it was all so over whelming....
but in the end....
looking back at the pictures....
all the familiar faces..
it was just another city;
with victims;
accusations;
and tourist attractions.

i hate you.

I don't even understand you anymore.... we used to be so sweet and lucky....
but we're broken; you fight and I hide....

Just save me already,
stop my misery, and take me to the place where you love and want me.

just ******* save me from this hurt.

time.
it flies by like a bird.
quiet.

Trust?
I have it.
Pain?
What about it.
Feelings?
they're there.
The boy?
wrapped around my finger.
Love?
Is ours for the taking <3

I figured my life was going good.
Just like how it should.
Cheer me up.
And break me down.
Did you see me turn around?

It's simple.
To an extent.
Like rain and sun.
The light gets bent.

With hugs and kisses.
Comes broken wishes.
And steady misses.

if you can catch me; then please be my guest....
open your arms and cushion my fall.
dont give me that false hope;
like you gave every other girl....
when you say i love you;
i want you to mean it....
when you hold me close to you;
and kiss me..
as you hold my waist;
and i wrap my arms around your shoulders;
dont just think about how you like me because i like you;
think about why i mean so much to you;
then as we lay in bed;
your body covering mine like a blanket;
dont just count my breaths as you go;
realize i dont want this to end;

i dont know how clearly i can put this....
you bring the worst out of me,
fear
worry
hidding
....
love.

Welcome to a new day,
nothings happened yet,
make it how you want it,
so you wont regret.
you dont look back,
you cant tell me,
how i feel.. cause i feel alone,
if you are still here,
take my hand and help out,
this is a lost and found..
its funny you should say that
but nothing ever changes.
things may sometimes look the same,
but life just rearranges.

hello darling,
have you come to be,
all by yourself,
by this willow tree.

do you posses a book in hand,
a poem in mind,
simple lines.

i can even start to imagine for you,
what to say, and where to write.

make it before dark sets in..
before the mist,
covers the ground.

and hope you notice,
i hope you hear,
day just fell to night; my dear.

i cannot tell who you are
by the swing of your step
and i cannot follow your heart
when no path is set.
but if you feel the strongest burst
to follow through
even when it hurts
you my dearest,
will be my hero
which can save me from this place;
your love can take me away..

i know that there is no real way to tell, who you talk to, or what you say to them, and there is no real way to tell exactly how you feel about me, and there never will be.... im not sure how to feel right now, there is so much in my mind.... cramped up in the corner of my head, wanting to explode!
im lost and im misguided.. i feel unsafe and threatened.... and the only thing keeping me from getting lost in the dark abis of feelings, is you.

you are my rock, my mainstay, my everything. i know.... none of this will mean a thing when you move on from me, but i hope the least that will happen is you will always look back and say "she really did love me"
even better, i hope you never have to look back at what is written on the internet because that will always be the same, i hope that you will be able to look me in the eyes and say,
"i love you too."
i hope that one day when you miss me, you will be able to call me and tell me. better yet i hope that one day you will just be able to walk in the door and tell me crazy stories about how your day went. even if none of my dreams come true.... i hope that ill always have you <3

i feel like i've been here before..
taken in by your eyes,
over powered by old lies..

i feel like i've walked across these grounds,
but i was broken before,
you read my mind,
so i left you there....

i feel like i've heard you speak my name,
but this was not the same,
you're different....
before you spoke my name out of anger,
and i sat quietly,
hushed in the corner.

i feel like i've cried my last tear,
not out of sorrow..
but out of loss....

i realized that i was never jealous....
i was affraid to lose you,
to something you began to miss....