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i breathe deep, breathe slow
for the atmosphere to consume my lungs
keep my heart beating
blood streaming
one slow inhale
so vital
so simple
expected to work
until it doesn't
breathing in expecting air
but getting death instead
my heart reached out expecting your affection
but got death instead
A seal is broken

A problem arisen

An argument settled

A person belittled

Apathy present

A victor discerned

What will it take for us to  understand
That a  question answered,
is not always a lesson learned
On the brink of human desires
and the razors edge of humanity
lie the choices that we make.

Good, bad, evil, selfishness, greed and innocence.

What we do defines who we are.
And we are defined by the choices we make.
All we can do,
is believe that we are doing the right thing.

-------------------------
Peter A. Murnieks
March 17, 2007
*Inspired by the movie: Crash (2004)
 Dec 2013 Ilia Talalai
Mikaila
If you kiss him
I will still write you poems.
I see you
Walking a tightrope of a choice
Leaning one way and then the other.
I see you.
I see everything, even when I try not to.
It is the curse of somebody
Who fears to miss anything
Lest it sneak up.
I don't miss anything
And that protects and damns me in equal measure.
I am ready, in some way, for every blow
But the price of that
Is that I feel them in privacy, alone and rigid,
Before they even happen,
Whether
They even happen.
I have choices.
We all have choices.
All we have
Are choices.
I could make the choice to go cold like stone
And protect myself in case you
Are upstairs right now,
Kissing him tonight the way you kissed me
Last night.
I could make the choice to believe that there is nothing else that could possibly be happening,
And crumple in on myself like a fallen souffle,
Let myself feel soft and rotten inside like a fruit hidden in the grass
With perfect skin
And decay beneath.
Or
I could choose to trust you
That I am special
That I am something
That even if you are up there kissing him
I haven't lost just yet.
I could choose to remind myself that when I met you
You were his
And now you aren't
And that
Is more than I ever dared to hope for.
What is strong, darling?
Tell me what strong is.
I asked you with my eyes last night
And the answer I got was that at that moment
Strong was not something that mattered,
And I fell into that,
Tired and released, for once.
But I never did find out-
What
Is strong?
What am I
That I will still write you poems
Even if you forget me?
He will come home tonight
Full of wine, his friends, and steak,
And gently 'wake'
Sleep faking me.
He'll be loving,
Vocal, animated, demonstrative,
He'll want to talk.
Apologetic, clumsy, sweet,
I will meet
My love again,
With a smiling snuggle,
And an indulgent, happy kiss.
 Nov 2013 Ilia Talalai
Noah
I don't know
true love
of course I don't
I'm just a girl
who likes a boy
a little more
than usual

apparently
I can't know
true love

all I know is
nothing makes me
happier
than his smile
nothing makes me
sadder
than his detachment
nothing makes me
lonelier
than him not being here

but that probably
isn't true love
I saw it all
and graced every moment,
There they all were,
Scattered across Gregorian isles,
The beauties beyond the bridge,
holding and caressing the sun-
drenched pavement,
Beset on all corners flesh of the-
purest sort,
The cackling ruffians in the parks,
conspicuous cigarettes barely holding
steady,
The yawn-screaming maintenance man,
in the back of the depot,
making faces at passersby.
The didwives walk swiftly,
buckling dirt under their scoured
limbs,
The fresh smell of the river,
with precarious logs that never
fall over,
The faces chisled in the walls,
Men whose catacombs belong,
Personally under the floor boards,
I met the modern day black-
smiths,
greased, and happy golden-red,
Behind, stuck in the surreal
rut,
Happily tailing and fireworking
as tickets fly in,
A walk home revealed all,
footsteps graced every patch,
Each one of comical saints,
tying invisible lines of
alternate reality.


"Excuse me,
I just wanted to say,
You look beautiful today."
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