Happiness came in waves,

and in the darkest of nights
with the strongest of tides,
it was all pulled away.

And feu de joie to each heart break
Feu de joie to every return
For all those gone
For all they have done
And feu de joie to each heart break
Feu de joie to every return
For it's time for death to die
For me to take my turn

I couldn't tell what's on my mind
So I stared
I couldn't help but, stare
And when I thought I would just write'em all
I couldn't, I just couldn't at all
Even when I know literature is not your thing
Yet words spill from your mouth in w a v e s
But in case you haven't realized what you mean to me
I think I just gotta say this anyway .



You're my pride
You're my strength when I'm insecure
You're the sun that doesn't burn
' but soothes me to the core
You're like a fairytale
But I know this love is real

You make life c om e b a c k to life .


And even though,

I could never tell you what's on my mind
Thoughts I never spoke out loud
The nights we shared,
Through the times we stared
I wondered if you been wondering
And I wandered to look for the right words
I lose it where to start
If it's those perfectly curved grey hair
or your strong arms
Is it the way you move when you sing to me
to every beat of your heart
Or that even at a four thousand miles of distance
You're still right here .

All that I could ask for
And all That I could say
Is  you  to  stay
Just   s t a y .

Distance can be miles apart
Or a block away from each other '
We both see the horizon
In different time zone
Separate position
Same direction
Before sun rise
In the still of the darkness
I see a ******’s bloodless love
Flowing at peace ;
The wait was long
But he showed no wrath
Incinerating me in the flames of his glorious path
Have I not walked a natural phenomenon this beautiful before
Never the I'consumed methylated spirit -
That I'engaged in 'tandav
Whilst my boots concealed precious opioid syringes
was un touched .

The same story created multiple more

Even though I have unraveled a myriad of ideologies



I kneeled to the One ;





The exquisitely pure ,

The inconceivable ;

The unmanifest ,

Of infinite form ;

Blissful, tranquil, immortal ;

Everything about him reeks of danger and insanity
His scent gives off a feel of nostalgia and safety
Following sardiness of regret
Caught by the trawler of hope

Here control i s overrated '

The moment of the divine wholeness
Here I sit under it
Incessantly chanting

S t i l l

M o t i o n l e s s

Over an infinite time

It's green foliage adorns the sky
Each flower smiling .
The constraints,
which were built by the mind,
crumbled in an instant .
I look beyond myself and saw you there
All of these years of loneliness !
And though you are right, I've been looking as well,
In different time zone
Separate position
Same direction
Before sun rise
In the still of the darkness

'I 'Offered myself

It's never just a single moment '
It's a confluence of events
Of my tragic demise
Muted with misery ;
Afraid and paralized .
I  cannot rememb'r how't hath happened
' How I lost it all ;
Including my mind .
I'm berefted .
Since I realized ,
I stopped loving the things I loved the most
And nothing rings a bell
Except for a forgotten song
The places change
The pain remain
Lack of entropy
Got no string
Hybridity
Modernization
Temporary
It is, what it is .
Either be dragged
Or, let go
Or be torned '
limb f r o m limb

You can never tell me I never tried
I wasted my wishes in all the silent sighs
I'm a new person
Making the same ol'mistakes
Howling with the wild dogs
Searching for my next ****
'Tell me would you **** ?
Would you too, **** with no remorse ?
Would you too, chase up the hill ?
Would you like to run into my abstract dream ?
'All across the misty field of death and insanity ;
And if the monster showed it's face
Would you still want me ?

They say I lost my mind
They told you too a thousand time
'Today I wont lie
I don't really like the paradox at times
Life for me have never been of rhymes and chimes

Tell me, have you too felt like to die ?

Would you make me laugh until I cry ?
Or can you think of a better way to say good bye ?
Other than the blood spill ?
'Tell me would you **** ?
Would you too, **** with no remorse ?
Would you too, chase up the hill ?
Would you like to run into my abstract dream ?
'All across the misty field of disaster and incertainity ;
And if the monster showed it's face
Would you still want me ?

You are a new person
And so am I
Yet as forever
We always collide
We are never together
We never dissipate
We neither shun
Nor ever seek
The despair, hangover and indifferences
Now they barely lets us speak

I am forever lost
Never to be found
Have you heard ?
'I lead the monsters now ;
I'm still the same
Making the same ol'mistakes
Howling with the wild dogs
Searching for my next ****
'Tell me would you **** ?

I'm lonely by design
Captured by the craze
     Smoldering ;
         no flame ;
Toiled in vain ;

What would gain my chance '
To make a honest friend ?

Time has come to go
For the hundred millionth time ;
I walk the plank
Not a tear in my eye '
Maybe just another drink will let me forget ;
So I drink ; I drink ;
I'm overwhelmed with grief
The art of deception thee warp and weft

Still you're my favorite place to bleed ;

I'm ****** ;
In the paradise of whiskey and liquor
Life stood still '

This is to my lover '
I turned your lies into poetry
And I hold my breath with every guile
Before I burst out and sob '
And weeping alone intensifies my anxiety
Me and my lover came to an end '
No more staying under summer canopy
And I ,
Wasted over the bridges of sighs
It never seems to get better
Never thought you could lie
So I try to drink in the name of poetry and virtue ;
Yet you're all that I psyche '
And all I ever loved ;
I loved in vain
Love got biased ;
Memories filled in '

It called for another drink ;

It's all in a lie
In all the secrets you behold ;
You fooled me twice
And you fooled me thrice
Just to see me sigh another time
Here you are 'you reload

All to play your selfish selfish game
Here you are 'back again

Unburden me from all the mundane woes ;

Here's how it goes ;
Briskly walking in February rain
No rain could stop the fire burning in my soul ;
And all I ever loved ;
I loved in vain
Love got biased ;
Memories filled in '

It called for a drink ;

I drink ; I drink ;
Horrid burden of memories breaks my back ;
Intoxicated . Ripped .
So I drink in the name of poetry and virtue ;
In order not to feel .

I drink ; I drink ;

I have to be continually drunk
For in the naked night of your arms
I have witnessed my truth ;

'The tears they stream
I am a mess
Back down to earth I plummet
Surrounded by darkness
Overwhelmed with shame
Love drunk ;
I sway ;
The papers all wet
Yet here's how it goes ;
The ***** ran strong
Weakened by the soulful cries of lovers'
Dead . Dying .

And the truth caused friction ;

So I grab another drink ;

Now I soar through the day
I drop from high above
In the air 'I stay

The arrogance behind this grand design ;
was taken whole from the liar's heart '
Liar as god himself, a rumor, a myth ;
who wander ; who wait ;

Here we are ; yet again ;
This is for my lover ;

It's all in a lie
The art of deception you Lo and behold ;
You fooled me twice
And you fooled me thrice
You held my hands
On the beach side
To say goodbye
One last time
Again ..you leave and you leave ...and you leave
To come back, again  .

And all I ever loved ;
I loved in vain
Love got biased ;
Memories filled in '

It called for another drink ;

'I'll love you in every life
Over any distance
Through every tide
I will love you ;
Over and over again
To eternity and infinite '
I will pour 'em all every time ;

till love itself runs dry .

Red hair ;
Ripped blue jeans
She appears ;
Dark lips ;
Spelling dark lies
She moves near ;
She giggles with glee ;
Followed by her succubus glare

She roared in your veins ;

Starving ;
A hunger never to be fulfilled
She's back again ;

Lust to lust ;
Flesh to flesh
Sharp scratches ' piercing skin ;

Your sweet temptress ;
Her hunger to devour you
In the hell between her thighs ;

Her savage fingers lingers ;
On your blood soaked chest
Bathing herself in your death ;

You are her'stage ;
She performs every blood moon night

Ripped vestures, uneven breath  ;

Pervert, she is ;
And so are you
Uttering, mastering it ;

Some relationship got no name ;

'They are like the wind
You can only think you can hold on to them
But take a good look
What are you holding on ?
There's' nobody there !
It was never really there '
It was never for you to hold
It only wants to explore ; more ;
You can't see it
You can only feel it like the warm summer sun
And so can give you the worst possible burn '
It can blow the floor off your feet and leave you to mourn
Or just enough breeze to blow your gown '
And only when you close your eyes
You could see you and him together as one ;
But soon enough the dream be done
And you wake up in remorse
Past the lightning the thunder and the storm ;
Then again ;
Some relationship got no name ;

'They are like the wind
You certainly cannot hold on to them
But you can always dream .

'The moment I laid my eyes on you
I knew you could hurt me the best
I crave loss and despair and heart break ;
                                               ' I confessed

So what if I can't feel the love ;
I still can feel the pain
Obfuscating the visions with thick veil
                                                       Eyes dry .
For I do not know how to write
Ink flows from my eyes ;
free as the fallin rain .

Poisoned by contempt'

Yet, I will love, again ;
to re-gain, the stain .

In the midst of a funeral

Mercy had no time
Aged and worn ;
Abandoned
Muffled
Torn
Silence is the answer you'll most definitely get .

Crawled out of love
Ended up with a muted 'scream
A thousand death ;

I will not be fooled
He loves me;
I know by every 'honey-
and the lips on my forehead'
By the way his eyes smiles at me-
I know he is drawn to the shipwreck

He took charge of the sea'

He shone in me
My heart is happy
His presence is an extreme privilege'
While I try to behold the 'eternity

He show'd me the best of what love can'be

He took charge of the sea'
And filled the vast ocean with his generous wine
That nature hath align'd
And I drank like a fith'

These graces shall endure
Eternal, constant, pure
A joy, unknown to kings;
For he who leaves the passage free - to love
Shall let in 'all the reft;

And in the night, when the lamp swang a little too low
I yawn and sleepily pull myself to him
Nestled up by his glorious lanate chest
I slumber'

And then,

I woke up'

On the other side-
Of the road to Memphis'

So we live - as now we live - to be
Mean while
We will live together
In the verses of my poésies'

The w i l d one left the Eden of lies
For she was the painted women
The unapologetic creature of the night
She shackled the spirit
And tore it apart
No trips planned ahead
Nor any reason to return'

So the seed must grow
Regardless the fact that it was planted in stone'
She can hear it's melancholy - l o n g - withdrawing crack

Retreating,
to the breath'

Her first footstep touched a verdant hill
Outvieing all the buds in Flora's diadem
Above the ingrate world and human fears

She nests her abode with the ravens'
Dangling from the edge of skyscrapers
Responsive to sylphs, in the moon beamy air
Past each horizon of fine poesy;

And there; the willing slaves are milling
to and fro
In search of treasure' and gold

And the creation mythmakers float in fabled vessels
laughing and drinking
They seize, and cease and begins' again

And when they were all together
They almost killed each other
Fighting over rights and prides and control'

In the dwellings of this war-surrounded isle;
It's easy to be lethal
But not resting along abandoned at the shorelines
But she did-
She sighed out songs that filled the air'
Past each horizon of fine poesy;

Baby take a deep breath - and dive' in deep'
You will find me in every dustiest corner of your memories-
Where we were shrouded in mists
Made love under the hot sun all day
And your favorite place was under the cherry trees!
   Those days seems short now-
But the nights now, are much too long..

Hey baby do you remember me?
And every time you were gone?
  Where you left me to quiver
Made me travel through the stars'
And every time you left, the madness grew
You were the only fire that could ignite my dark

From longer before than you know
And for longer than you can remember
The pleasure of the pain - I have endured it all
But hey baby do you remember?

Where we laid beneath the wild stars
Read tales of ancient lovers' in the skylines
And your favorite story was always us'
     Those days seems short now-
But the nights now, are much too long..

Hey baby do you remember me?
And every time you returned?
  Where you were always found by the paranormal pond
Waiting for me silently amidst life's endless dawns
Across the caroling meadows into June
How delightedly, how gladly, you return, yearning

For we are wrapped in endless boundless grace
For there are more to us than yesterday
The world will change - our love - will remain
Hey baby 'you said, we will do it all over again, again

Baby take a deep breath - and dive' in deep'
You will find me in every dustiest corner of your memories-
For you are more than real to me, do you not see?
And I so wish you remembered me, like I, remember thee'

He's my crazy crazy virgo

He have a wondering-wandering mind
And it's nothing like you can define

     He cannot walk in a straight line'
He rhymes madness
And his paths are divine
Inexplicable
Mystifying
Delicious
Chaotic
He's all the right mix of everything I crave
It's like I made him ^ inside my mind

He looks like serenity in the storm
oh does he taste like winter dew-
His kisses are quite and insane
He makes my decency bid me adieu'
He spelled his truth between my *****
wilderness, wilderness, wilderness
He mentioned them three times'

       And there blew' the very destructive alarm!


From us new poems are born
He tamed the angry sea
He is not for everyone -
He is for me'

He dared to break the glacial ice
I been building up for centuries

Overflowing it's banks

Savoring, and salivating
He explored my galaxy

And I flooded down like a wild river

From the middle to the edge
We used every corner of the bed
Both of the bed

In glory he sank

I offered no resistance
To his luscious temptations
Gyrating
Vibrating
And calling my name'

I felt his spines and bones
Trembling for more
So densely intense
I melt into it
Then I explode

I cry out in pleasure
I cling to his scent
And we read each other
Like scriptures
Written with stars
Endless
Forevermore

And a day

When souls which have forgot frivolity
Traveling the expanse of purple panoramas
In lowliness, noting the fatal flights
Lost in the cities;
Lost in the skies
Hither, thither, and masterless
Sanctioned souls condemned and heartless
Lost in the cities;
United by poetry
Like cascading ribbons of thundering waterfalls
That splash alluring forests with leaves in ochre red
Moving as the moon tides, near and near
It's the calibre of the moments that mattered;

Of the two becoming one'

Most of those poem are written at 4 AM
That's where all the unravished silences belong
When the paper and promises are both meant to burn
Flowing tears of written hopes and woes
As a butterfly’s fluttering coax the flows
Later, past the rapids, I paused to consider
Widening and filling
With a gentle lapping of inlets
And I behold once more
Quietly
There goes-
Again'

My battle with time

Most of those poem are written at 4 AM
It's when I dwell in my creations
My long lost world
In the dim weald of vanished summer
To meet the despair

I laughed in grief under haunted skies
Desolate I strayed
In my clumsy-noisy mind
Watching the dying embers
Amid the freezing night
My angry-tears are gone'
And I behold once more
Quietly
There goes-
Again'

My battle with time

I mourn over reasons
They will never figure out
They doesn't even know what I'm smiling about
My words burns within my lungs
These thoughts are deadly
And with each broken words
Shaking legs
Empty rhythms
I danced'

Most of those poem are written at 4 AM
It's when I take a sip from my devil's cup
It's when I learn to wait for the loneliest of feasts
Of worlds whereto this earth’s a hurled dream

And nothing leads to no happy home
So let me-
So let me mourn alone
Let my heart freezze
I'm an ancient ocean
I could survive anything
And everything
So I behold once more
Raw and raging
There goes-
I'm beyond'

I'm beyond time

I don't see you with my eyes;

I see you with my eye’
I watch all them question to eerie your insight.
I stare at the glow that illuminates.
And the glare that obscures.
I trusted your light.
I loved your dark.
and it's taking a part of me each gazing juncture.

Are you afraid of what you might find?
Are you stuck inside a maze in your mind?
Let me be the darkness that fills you - despite the looming pain of emptiness.
Let your truth march.
Let your forces ignite.
Let there be destruction, chaos and crumble!
Cause my love, did you not know?
In every life you let go.
I will still be glad to find you,
even if it lasted just for a while.

Every time.

You illuminated my darkest skies
And lulled me to rest on restless tides
And for the b r i e f e s t of times'

I had the greatest of sleep.

His fingers are foolish
His provocative smile
His deadly warm breath strikes

Oh how he pulls me closer a bit every time

Not too much - not too less - he likes to take it slow
Yet he lingers in all the right place
Making me yearn for it more

Ran fingers across my chest
Making me weak to my knees'
Oh how he spun my whole world

between a glance and a kiss

Where the whole world stopped - for the briefest of times'
He witnessed my destruction
I'm addicted to hurting my love
Make me suffer !

I'm ready for redemption'

I knew it was too good to be true.
Honestly i did.
But my heart, however, made a run towards the highest peak.
Where i would have you for eternity.
Like I had you last night.
Like i had you in all my other lives.
And within that -
was a glimpse of hope -
a spark of a beautiful paradox'