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Qynn Jul 2018
No matter how bad I wanted this to be
I’ll take it down from where it hangs
and leave it here to bleed
With sand in my heart
my feet in the sea
The storm arrives
and suddenly
I know it’s time to leave

The lighthouse keeps on beckoning as I cast off from the shore
Despite everything I had
I still got caught
I wanted more
And I tried to stay the winds
to stay the waves
to stay in your arms
But I found myself thrown in the current
We push farther apart

And it’s wrong, this song, this eulogy
Of bittersweet departure
The times we shared so late at night
I’d give it all to find you
But I’ve grown so tired
watching you and her along the shoreline
And now I’m soaked all through my clothes
to my bones
I’m out of time.
Qynn Jul 2018
Red, like the river that flows between my legs every so often.

Of course, this the color I paint my nails, as if the subtle yet bold mark of femininity could make me feel any more like a woman. As if the pain in my abdomen suggests that, yes, one day I shall be worthy of the burden of bearing human life - a parasite within, a martyr without.

Such gifts these are. Never asked for, so oft granted, regardless of prayers for fragile offspring.

We gasp at the guarantee of torn womanhood. We sigh at the kick inside.
We are women - strong, unyielding beasts of the northern stars. We bleed ourselves dry in hopes that we may find our way back home - our blood ever thicker than any sweat or tear could dream to be.

The red of our bodies shimmers bright beneath the moon.

The perfect pathway from mother
to daughter
to mother.
Qynn Jul 2018
I carry libraries in my spine
a collection of scents, sounds, secrets
calibrated poor coping mechanisms to get me through each day
the weight of it all almost too much to carry
just enough force to push me through the ******* at bay.
Qynn Jul 2018
it is 2 in the morning
and I am up, sick
pregnant with such wishful thoughts
if only things had turned out differently

hello

goodbye.
Qynn Jun 2018
I try too hard
and the taste I leave
on your god-given lips
is heavy,
chalky and bitter.
Qynn Jun 2018
I look for love where it cannot be found
I search barren places for any trace of fruit
honey
sweetness
sensations that have no place in the bed I have made

your lips are rough with sugar
I would rather keep you ripened
than let you rot away

ever still
selfishly
I beg you to stay.
Qynn Jun 2018
I pass myself along
from man
to man
to man

in search of shelter
I cannot find
in the graves I dig
with my own two hands.
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