I owe you happiness.
For the short time I knew it -
when I knew you.

I owe it to you
to let you go.

you have no patience for me

the times where I lie on the ground
screaming

my chest ripped open
bleeding

I gave you my heart
and you are sick of hearing it

beating.

I don’t have anything nice to write about myself
because I have no good thoughts about myself.

every time I make the decision
to drink myself half to death

I rely on you

not him

to dry me out.

despite the amounts
of sleep and sanity
I sacrifice
to ensure the extinction
of the other woman

she thrives.

like flies to putrid corpses
the threat multiplies.

you attract.

what do I do
when there is
seemingly
no amount of love to ease the pain

no matter how soft the kiss
how rough the ***
how sweet your words
there will always be the stinging

soreness

burning

here, to remind me
the things you hid
the things you did

the pit in my stomach
the hole in my chest
I should probably brace to receive

again,
such sordid gifts
from my liar lover.