These emotions i have for this girl thats not even mine. Its like im falling in love again for the very first time. I mean from the way that she walks to things that she talks' she knows exactly what to say to encourage and keep me in line. Now right now shes just a friend but god i HOPE for  more. I mean is she the one o father' is this the blessing of women for me  you've had in store. I mean she seems to have it all in order but has revealed to me shes is torn. When she comes around i know the wisdom will leak. When she comes around it is wisdom thats speaked. She is strong women of god a blessing from you to me. The fact that she still talks to me regardless of what she sees is something i cant put my finger on kuz she sees something in me. Our relationship is cool kuz not only is she beautiful she a friend too. So i ask you father let this relationship bear the fruit you intend it to kuz i cant keep chasing women nor do i want to! Am i overreacting to a little attention but the women ive described to you she fits the definition. Should i go for this girl i mean whats holding me back. Hours on the phone pillow talking like in high school she doesnt have to try her personality is just  cool. I dont want to ruin the friendship i dont wanna express how i feel to soon. So maybe i should just sit back like before and just play it cool! Heart on my sleeve  so its hard to keep these feelings inside. Play it cool i tell myself but i just wanna see if she feels the same. If she gets away and i never expressed how i felt it will only be me to blame.

Theres not a title in this world that id love more then being called your man but girl before we get that far there's somethings you gotta  understand.  One im not perfect and two i dont always have a plan. See this life has struggles that won't always go along with your plan. I just wanna let you know no matter the struggle i will always hold your hand. See once you give me that title its no longer just about you. Its about us and what were tryna do. Now if we cant work together  kuz you only have your point of view. Then dont ever give me that title  because i see its all about you. we must work together  for this thing to work.  Do you expect everything to be handed to you or are you willing to put in the work. See we may start off and everything is great but when when we have our first disagreement  are  you gonna retreat or are you gonna try to solve the problem on where we disagreed. I will never Force you to stick around because the door is always open. The man is supposed to provide but i cant give you more then what i have. Everything can be taken away from me in an instant so my love and personality is the only thing i really  have. So if those two things are not enough then that title is one thing you gave but shouldn't  have!

They say family over friends but some friends are closer then fam. To me its the realationship youve built no matter friend or fam.  To me its all about who really gives a dam. I mean does you fam really care about you or is it just that their blood runs through you. Do your friends really care or are they just tryna use you. Its a matter of time before there true colors shine through. All im tryna say is becareful who you clinge to. Because all the time you've spent trying to fit in to your fam and friends was a waste of time and vain pursuit. So i say get in where you fit in no matter wat others think of you. And that place where you fit in is with the who created and died for you! Every one has there opinion and everyones going to judge you but why care what they say when they dont have a real clue

Unless i ask for your advice dont give me any. Because you only want to judge the life im living. Your opinion is yours so keep it to yourself. Unless i open up my mouth and ask you for your help. See you only want to know about me so you can gossip to your so called friends. Cant you see the devil has you trapped and dwelling  in sin. Well im here to speak the truth so this is where the gossip ends.  You are not my friend and i no longer wanna fit in. I dnt wanna hear about others if the postive is not within. See you fail to realize the one you call your friend is the one whos talking behind your back when your not around. Instead of talking me up your always talking me down.  You say your real you say your different your the homie for life.  But i see it different now kuz you talk behind my back and gossip was the knife. Im tryna make a change. But the more i hang around  you its as if you wanna keep me the same. I can not point the finger at you kuz im the one to blame. But that being said i see where i gotta change i gotta cut you off and end this gossip game!

Some thoughts in my head i should prolly leave alone everyday is a struggle to do right in a world full wrong no one knows why were dealt the hand were given. Its not the way you start but how the race gets finished. My life is a beat and im jus vibein to the rhythm but my life is not perfect so im not always on rhythm. I do the best i can to keep my head up but i can not deny sometimes im fed up. Times in  life when i jus wanna give up. Harder on myself then anyone i know. No need for negative comments you can leave them at the door. Flawed and imperfect like everyone i know. Emotions on display but  not jus for show.  I dont gotta say im real cuz those actions are shown. People say there real with secret intentions. Im jus asking for the truth not your lies and deception. Look in the mirror and give your own inspection. Dont let others tell you who you are with there selfish suggestions. You are beautiful  and you sure are worth it.  If no ones ever told you then from me you heard it!

I smoke so much my lungs will never get a brake  inhale exhale purple flowers on the intake.  Trapped in my mind dont think ill ever escape. flying over cities  but i will never wear a cape. mary j is overtaking me i feel like i been *****. But you can't **** the willing so i guess mary got away. They say marijuana  is the gateway but i started with alcohol so the system needs an update. Everyone says there real but their actions are fake. Say they hold there own but there eating from your plate. True actions are shown when the times get rough. Then you find out the real and whos been calling there bluff! Even tough break down kuz at one point even the  tough have enough.  I kick back and smoke kuz i can never get enough i mean  maybe one of these days me and mary will break up.  But  when that day come ill let you know  kuz right  now we still in love! There flowers they bloom! but they call em a drug but its time to re up  let me hit up my plug.

I dont want to be single but i will patiently wait.
Lord whom is the girl that you want me to date.
Ive tried it my way but i havent found that girl whos willing to appreciate .
Ive tried to be sincere and to make it clear.
That i want to love you girl without any fears.
Am i not good enough to a women on earth.
I mean does any female know nowadays what a good mans worth.
Do i gotta cheat  on you to cause a lil hurt.
So that you will stick around and try to make it work. Do i gotta yell at you and fight with you to show that im a man
. I mean why cant we just have conversation  keep it real and get some things understand.  
Doea any female truely even know what they want.
Kuz when they have a good man its just not wat they want. Does a man have to degrade you  and bring to your lowest point.
For you to fall in love when thats not even  the point. Maybe i just see it wrong because thats not what i wanna do.  
I want to hold you kiss you and be gods man to you. But in my generation i feel as love between a man and women has really been *******.
I mean just because your my girl doesnt mean i own you. You've  been heartbroken and lies have been what you are accustomed to.
So when a man opens his mouth and hes speaking out the truth.
You revert back to everything to when youve been lied to. But if you never take a chance then you will always be  the same you.
And you will never find that man whos been standing right in front of you!
So go ahead girl and let  lies have control of you. Let everyone tell you that all men are the same to.
God has placed good men among the bad to.
You just gotta break out of the past kuz it really is controlling you!
Lord how do i love in this generation of  lust.
How do i show a girl im real when her hearts been crushed.
How do i tell her lets slow it down when everyone else is in a rush.
How do i open up to anyone but you for you are the only one i can trust.
Lord help me understand how to live in this world while im still here.
Lord show me how to love and lord you must make it clear.
Lord i know you are close and always near.
But i dnt want be single yes that is one of my fears.
but trying to explain my affections to a female to them my intentions dont appear . But you know my intentions lord the good and the bad so no need to fear.
So even if the one i want doesn't understand  one day she'll see it clear.
Well the'll be no gurantee that i haven't disappeared .
So before you shrug me off listen to me dear
i am who i am because of the god upstairs!
I know that lies have made you fear love and demolished your trust.
You've given up on realtionships because you couldn't relate.
Your fed up with the arguments and daily debate. You say your searching for the pefrect man but he doesn't exist.
See we all come with baggage from the past but act as if it doesn't exist.
But there will come a time when you find a man you cant resist
and he will take on your baggage as if it didnt exist
but will you tolerate his when he lays out list.