i will hold your hand when i see you
and pray you will feel
the intensity of my affection
between the pulsations sent forth
by my helpless heart.
i will look deep in your eyes
and surrender my soul for that moment
that i will be utterly lost in it.
i will take courage
and wander into that adorable mind,
looking for my place of solace,
that sacred ground that i have nurtured
with every breath, every strength
every ounce of dedication imaginable,
and claiming it mine, mine alone, all for myself...
and i will not give it up,
even as you pry my hands away.
i will embrace you
with the emotion of a lost child found,
the fire of a stone hearth in winter,
the grateful song of a lark in summer,
the deepest depths of the seas
the infinite heights of heaven
the comforting silence and the damning certainty
of this love i feel for you and no other.
i will whisper your name in your ear,
so i could hear it myself
and then truly, truly believe that you are there,
that you are as real.
as real as the tear that will ache to escape
from my eyes that will deny it.
because i will keep my vision so clear
so i could behold the beauty of your face
and die for one fleeting moment in your arms.
so when i see you, my beloved,
please forgive me,
if i will hold your hand
and i will not let go.

to all those i love,
i cannot give any more of me.
i have none left
for myself.
my time is consumed by work
and worrying
of other people's pain
i may have lost
my own capacity to feel.
because when i do feel
i am unable to contain it
and the love pours
when i give it all
till it is insane.
i may have hit bottom.
so i think i should keep
the last tiny itty-bitty morsel
for myself.
i will have some more maybe
for next year.

i will catch up with sleep
when i am dead
for tonight my weary eyes just live
to behold your beauty
as you bathe in a dream
beside me.
how could i not tremble with the thought
that i breath the air you breath,
and listen to the same songs
that wander into your restful mind?
i dream your dream, love,
even if i am awake
and my heart is beating furious
at your sight.
such magnificent soul!
such wonderful creation!
you could see beyond
this plain, ordinary armor
and find the voice
trapped in my heart...
release me, dear
release my whole being
that has longed
so much to find you.
what are the chances of a time like this?
how could i sleep and let this moment not take me,
reduce me to tears
that i ache so bad to hide from you?
i will hurt in the morning
but it will heal.
i will not see this vision again
but it will remain in everything i see.
we will be miles apart, but closer.
so tonight,
i would rather live,
breath your air
smell you, kiss you, merge with your senses
and give you all this love
i never know exists in me.
pure, ******, boundless, blind and fierce.
you sleep away, my darling
my beautiful beloved.
i will catch up with sleep
when i am dead.

i woke up this morning
with the vision of your face smiling.
right now, in the incalculable space between us
you are still sleeping.
so i will slip into your dreams
hack through the jungle of confusion,
chase the cobwebs along the way
there would be scattered, beautiful lights to keep me company.
i know of a trail to a great spot
to watch the memories of our love,
the passion and discovery we had this weekend.
i will play this over and over and again.
i will not even think or break it down
to some meaningful logic.
it will bring me joyful convulsions,
and some tears in the end.
and then i will quietly leave this poem
for you to read when your eyes open
to see my face smiling from afar.

wake up today, love
and feel whole at least for a day.
for your broken pieces
i glued together with painstaking love
while you were asleep.
i held my breath for your beauty
and the restful slumber you deserve,
and i was very careful
to dry with utmost care, gently blowing
the last tear that cling to you face.
i dare not to stir any longer
that lingering hurt, now in ebbs.
it will be gone when your smile emerges
and your eyes will rule the world.
the million shattered yous on the floor
i gather with my longing heart
i hold them with such tender memories
such aching care,
such passion true,
as they are mine as well.
i need to just scoop them
and watch them bring themselves forth
a better being,
a stronger spirit
a fiercer love.
you will wake up today, love
with another song in your heart
it will be new
it will be young
it will be fresh
and the cruel world may not listen.
**** them dear.
it matters not.
the song is for you.
i will listen to it from afar
and my heart will drown with joy.
you will break again some nights
but as you cry to sleep
i will thread softly
to pick you up, shard by shard
and embrace you whole
knowing that tomorrow
brings these pieces together
another you
that you and i
will delight to love.
so sleep a little bit more, my love
you are whole again.
today will be just fine.

i need rain
to soften this parched earth
where i stand.
too many dry seasons
and cold nights,
and i am wanting.
shower me with compassion
a tender touch, a song,
a whisper.
i need water infused into this soil
sprout a seed
gasp some air
birth.
hold my hand and tremble
the rush of life coming forth
to consume you
till you break your dam
and flood me
my hunger,
completely.
pour everything you have on me
i will bring it back to you
heat rising
water pregnant with affection
to scatter again in thousand rebirths an endless cycle.
torrential rain is what i need
bring your clouds together
and fill me up
i ache for your water
i am waiting
i am wanting
rain.

There are periods that need to be put at the end of sentences that started with a thought, rambled onto paragraphs that branched into multiple ambitious topics that was then  left hanging in jumbled confusion half-way through time. In the endless strings of unecessary conjunctions, painful careless adjectives, and inappropriate prepositions, a simple period, used at the end of a completed, sensible sentence, one in which you put an effort to complete, regardless of the distracting pauses of time...a perfect period like that could go a long, long way. It ends THAT sentence so that another, more mature, wiser, more sensible one that could  bring forth beautiful thoughts in endless paragraphs, could then begin.

Such is the language of life.
Such is the power of a period.
It is called closure.
Sometimes, we should use more periods in our lives,
to make our sentences clear.
Yes.
Period.