The little green monster
sits on my shoulder as I see you.
And her.
It feeds on my insecurity and longing.
Growing.
Getting fat.
I try to suppress it--
I know it does only harm.
Yet the little green monster is persistent
and never truly leaves.
I might be able to force it away
But it leaves with a knowing smile.
And a promise.
To come slinking back
whenever I see her lips touch yours.
And I wish that you were mine.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This poem's the sweetest thing I'll ever do.

Lilies are orange
Petunias are pink
When I'm around you, ****, I can't think.

Pansies are purple
Orchids are white
When I talk to you, my throat gets tight.

Marigolds are gold
Hydrangeas are green
You're the most mesmerizing person I've ever seen.

Daffodils are yellow
Dandelions too
I must admit, I think I love you.

Lavender is grey
No flower is true black
All I want to hear is "I love you" back.

He was always with me when I cried
My sweet angel of mine.
He was there when my happiness died
My loving angel of mine.
He was there when my world stopped
My watchful angel of mine.
He was there when my health dropped
My healthy angel of mine.
He took care of me when I was ill
My doting angel of mine.
He saved me from the big chill
My warm angel of mine.
He was there when I fell in love
My patient angel of mine.
He sent him to the world above
My jealous angel of mine.
He told me that he loved me
My possessive angel of mine.
He took me with horrific glee
My twisted angel of mine.
He hid me away for the rest of my years
My wicked angel of mine.
He hit me when he saw my tears
My abusive angel of mine.
He's never left nor set me free
My immortal angel of mine.
Because I know his identity:
You, my angel of mine.

This is goodbye.
Farewell.
The end.
Maybe just for now
Or maybe for forever.
I feel my lip tremble
And my vision starts to blur
But I swear I will not cry
Not when you look so happy.
I'm terrified for the future
And the uncertainties that lie ahead.
We might never see each other again.
And if we do, I'm afraid it won't be the same.
I will no longer be your best friend--
Just someone you knew a long time ago.
And when I think of this
My throat gets tight
And I feel like I'm suffocating.
But I breathe and I swear I will not die.
Not when you are going out and living.
I have words to tell you
But they are stuck in my throat
Refusing to come out.
I want to say them, I need to say them before you go
But they would make your smile disappear
So I swallow them and smile and swear I will not confess my love
Not when you are smiling so dearly
And trying to say goodbye too.

The tears are forming
As I think of the end
To our late night conversations
The end to
Our jokes.
Our craziness.
The end of us as we know it.
You are leaving on an adventure—
Headed off for the great unknown.
Searching for better things—more opportunities
Leaving me here. Alone.
With the memories of our late night conversations.
And our jokes.
Our craziness.
You will be back but it won't be the same.
Distance will have stolen a part of you.
A part of you that I will forever miss.
You are leaving me.
And the saddest part is that you were never mine.

When you tell me a joke that you know will make me smile
Does it make your heart flutter for a while?
Knowing my secrets, knowing my past
Yet I know your love will last
Forever and ever until the day we die
I will be yours and you will be mine
I know with all my heart that this will never fade
That despite anything this love can be remade

How can you admit to someone you love them
When you can barely admit it to you
This love you so adamantly condemn
That won't disappear no matter what you do
No matter what you say no matter what you think
This love stays solid and never grows weak
You tell yourself it's gone you tell yourself it's over
That the beauty has disappeared from the eye of the beholder
But this is not true and you know it quite well
That feeling like you are under a spell
The spell of their laugh, the spell of their smile
The spell of their personality that makes life worthwhile
You love them, you love them, stop denying this fact
Start living it and now start planning your attack:
I love you, I love you—these three simple words
Consume my thoughts; control my world
I wish I could be strong and that I could believe
That you would say yes, that you could love me
But I am not strong, not in that regard
So I shall keep these feelings, these thoughts locked inside my heart.