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89 · Dec 2020
all the reasons
kaela Dec 2020
your loving arms,
your tender touches.
your affectionate kisses,
your warm hugs.
your smooth skin,
your beating heart.
your fond eyes,
your caring smile.

all these things and more
are all the reasons why
i love you.
88 · Jan 2021
Just a hoodie.
kaela Jan 2021
They say it’s just a hoodie.
But they don’t understand,
That this is the same hoodie
I wore when you first held my hand.

They say it’s just a hoodie.
But they’ll never comprehend,
That this is the same hoodie
i was wearing when I mentioned you to my friends.

This same hoodie only gives me a small amount of warmth
Compared to your arms wrapped around me.
Holding me close and tightly,
Never wanting to let go.

This same hoodie fits a bit better now.
I’ve grown into it more,
Like how the two of us have grown together.
Its more fitting now than it was before.

This same hoodie smells just like you.
Even with you so far away from me,
I can still have every piece of you
That I did when you were here with me.

They say it’s just a hoodie,
But there is more meaning to those hoodie
Than they will ever understand.
88 · Sep 2019
black dove.
kaela Sep 2019
if i could turn off the switch labeled "love",
i'd turn into a black dove.
with feathers of black,
and a heart of stone.
just sitting up on the power lines all alone.

that's all i feel.
i hope that this isn't real.
that it was just a delusion
and this is not the final conclusion.

can we go back and read it again,
or maybe find a different end?
cause i don't like the one you chose,
but maybe you do, i suppose?

or maybe you don't,
and you're just lying.
because, you see my friend, i want to keep trying.

no one likes a liar.
nor what they're hiding.
so please tell the truth
and say this isn't the one you're deciding.

if you want a different ending
please change the signals you're sending.
because i will keep on fighting,
and this poetry i will keep writing.

it may be about you
but if not, it's still true.
and the feelings inside me,
hopefully,
are the ones that set you free.

because from what i can tell,
you are under a spell;
and i don't have the answer,
but whatever it is,
it's spreading like a cancer.

change the signals on the power lines
because those aren't the ones i like at all,
please, because if not,
it's from the power lines that i fall.

and i'll hit the ground,
and my body will ache.
because the choice you made,
might not be the one you were supposed to make.
88 · Sep 2019
silence
kaela Sep 2019
all my sadness melts away,
i don't know what to say.
everything seems to get in the way.
i feel like i should say something,
instead i stand there and say nothing...
87 · Sep 2020
i miss you...
kaela Sep 2020
what do you do when your heart is 1,400 miles away
and you long to be closer?
86 · May 2021
Broken
kaela May 2021
You asked me who broke me first.
My throat becomes dry, but not from thirst.
The words catch in my throat,
The tears sting my eyes.

Not because of all the men
In my life that have beaten my heart in,
But because I’m on a boat
Floating across a stream of your lies.

The broken and empty promises you said that you would keep,
Are all turned to tears as you watch us weep.
I remember them all too well
The ones you made when you were half drunk.

We sit here with streams of tears falling from our eyes.
They weren’t that hard to keep, if only you’d have tried.
You think it’s because I fell
And to the depths of despair I’ve sunk.

Oh, how wrong you would be,
And it’s really a pity.
Why can’t you see the reason we’re all broken,
Stands in the mirror before you?

So take this as a lesson,
Maybe a gift or present.
Til your death you’ll carry this token
That not only am I broken, but she is too.
86 · Sep 2019
i'm right here
kaela Sep 2019
let me hold you,
and hug you
and make you feel safe.
let me be here for you
in this lonely place,

don't worry,
i won't let them see
the tears in your eyes
as they fall from your cheeks and onto me.

i'll protect you
even with me being small.
i'll protect you
and i won't let you fall.

i promise to always be here
and i will make it clear,
that you are loved,
and above
all the others here.

i will be right here.
i am right here.
i do not plan to leave.
i am with you until the very end,
or shorter.
it will all depend
on if you want me to be.
kaela Sep 2019
they say that life isn't fair,
yeah that's the truth.
broken hearts? I've had my share,
but no one compares to you.

I thought that I would be fine,
turns out that I was wrong.
I can't take you off my mind,
like you're the lyrics of my favorite song.

I never thought it would end this way,
but here are all the things I never got to say.
84 · Sep 2019
Untitled
kaela Sep 2019
depression taking me away
nothing left to say
but goodbye...
kaela Nov 2020
Do you even talk about me anymore?
Do you still feel the way you used to?
Cause ever since the first time you walked out the door,
It feels like it wasn’t you
Who came back in.

There’s another one creeping in,
Behind you so you can’t see.
It’s like I’m trapped between the two
Choosing for you or for me.

I don’t know where we stand anymore,
Or even if we’re together.
It’s just awkward with you standing in the door,
I don’t know which choice is better.

Choosing you,
Or closing that door for now.
Cause I’m caught between the two,
And i just want to find my way out.
84 · Jun 2021
The ending.
kaela Jun 2021
All writers have one really good but truly heartbreaking line.
We all prepare for it all of our lives,
and hope that it is as beautiful as it hurts.
We’re told that with beauty comes pain,
but who made that mean your worth?

Why must you strive to be beautiful,
when in the end you’re covered in scars?
For the story, the journey, the new beginning?
As the author you decide when enough is enough,
you are the controller of the ending.

Live your life,
go on the journeys,
watch the sunrise and set.
Don’t end your story just because it’s boring,
you haven’t reached the excitement yet.
84 · Dec 2019
heartbreak is deadly
kaela Dec 2019
trapped in my head
thinking too much
will i be better off dead?
and things of that such.

i was in love with you
but maybe not enough.
i didn't want it to be true,
that you broke me and i broke you.

we're both broken
and heartbreak is deadly.
take a piece of me as a token...
let it help hold you steady.
82 · Sep 2019
I'm fixed
kaela Sep 2019
you took a few pieces of my heart
and bit by bit
you put it together again.
you make butterflies appear in my stomach,
and when I'm next to you
my head only spins.

you were the glue and tape that held me together,
but i walked away and broke.
you were there for me through whatever
and I can't thank you enough.

so instead of saying thank you
over and over again.
I decided that I would write you a poem
that goes a little something like this:

I love you
I love everything about you
and that's not going to change.
no matter who, what, when, or where,
I promise you that I am always going to be there.

by your side
in your heart
and holding your hand.
your the only one I want,
the only one I have ever truly had.
82 · Apr 2021
desperate
kaela Apr 2021
i need to see you,
i need to hug you,
i need to hold you,
i need you to remind me why i’m alive,
i need you to give me reason again.

i’m desperate and all i need is you.
82 · Sep 2019
questions?
kaela Sep 2019
would you dry the tears
from my eyes as they fall,
or would you stand there
and do nothing at all?

would you look
me in the eyes and say
that everything will be okay,
or would you just walk away?

what would you do
if i was sad and needed you
to comfort me and make me safe
by holding me in your embrace?

would you give me
your hand to hold
when mine was lonely
and ice cold?

can we be together
till the end of time
where i'll steal your heart
and you steal mine?

i need you
that's easy to see
stay forever
and be with me?
one i wrote a few days ago but never posted
82 · Apr 2021
my love
kaela Apr 2021
the moon to the sun,
the sun using its light to capture the beauty within the moon.

the waves to the sand,
the waves rolling through the sea but slightly brushing the sand, carefully.

the breeze to the trees,
shaking its branches and blowing the leaves ever so gently.

the stars to the galaxy,
tiny in size but the amount of them all collectively shining, beautiful.  

the milk to the cookies,
one without the other doesn’t fit right, even santa knows.

my love without you,
minuscule and obsolete, never truly reaching its greatness and feeling complete.
82 · Aug 2021
too fast, wasn't ready
kaela Aug 2021
i believe that when we're born,
when our souls are created by the universe,
we have beautiful, elegant wings,
and we're all beautiful and elegant things.

as we slowly fall to the earth,
little pieces of them are stripped away,
feather by feather until their gone
and what we start with is only what we have on.

every year we grow older
a piece of what we once had
begins to be replaced.
those little pieces of us are no longer erased.

don't get all your pieces,
everything is happening too fast.
don't put your wings back on,
none of us are ready for you to be gone.
80 · Apr 2020
aching soul
kaela Apr 2020
she had an aching soul.

the smiles she held on her cheeks,
never met her eyes.

her eyes held the tears,
that would always fall down her cheeks.

she had an aching soul,
and was waiting for someone to heal it.
80 · Jul 2021
anything and everything
kaela Jul 2021
you ask me to run,
i ask how far.

you ask me to climb,
i ask how high.

you ask me to swim,
i ask how deep.

you ask me to jump,
i ask what to yell on the way down.

i’d do anything and everything,
just to prove my love to you.
79 · Nov 2019
Friday nights
kaela Nov 2019
ever since they left me,
i haven't been the same.
i've been trying to heal,
but all i feel is the pain.

the pain from the heartbreak,
and the pain from the hurt.
but also the pain from the thoughts
of how i did it first.

this happens on Friday nights
when my chest gets all tight
and my stomach doesn't feel quite right
and the tears fall from my eyes.
these Friday nights.
79 · Sep 2019
eight weak letters
kaela Sep 2019
2 years
730 days
thought those 8 letters would be enough.
75 · Sep 2019
homeless
kaela Sep 2019
wish it was easy,
moving on that is,
because now i've lost my home
and that's a feeling only you can give.

you are my home,
i've said it all before.
you were my home,
but you are no more.

you still care
and that's what hurts the most.
cause i can't leave
and bring this to a close.

what happened in the past,
that's my fault i'll admit.
and i never apologized
for giving you all that ****.

you gave up on me
that's what it feels like.
you keep moving forward
and i'm being left behind.

you still claim to love me
i wish it was a lie.
i'm ignored when around you
and i'm not sure what to do.
72 · Sep 2019
feelings
kaela Sep 2019
hide them away,
and don't let them show.
for today is not the day,
but it may be tomorrow.
not sure when the right time is
to show you.
72 · Nov 2020
Horns and thorns
kaela Nov 2020
Who knew that poison was carried
By the one you trusted most?
Who knew that strength was varied
By the amount of poison given?

The compliments made me weak,
The “I love you”s poison.
My voice hurts too much to speak,
And there are tear stains down my cheek.

Who knew that “I love you”
Was filled with thorns,
And wore a tail and horns?
71 · Sep 2019
why do you love me?
kaela Sep 2019
why do you love me?
i'm not pretty;
what do you see
that I am too blind to?

I am nothing;
nothing but dirt, ash and broken pieces
sad days and being beaten
down by words that have no meaning.

I am worthless;
no worth and no meaning,
not seeing
what the others see in me
helplessly lost in all of my feelings.

but you see something different
you see me in ways that I can not
I can never
but I can as long as we're together

maybe this time I won't hurt
or get hurt myself.
this time I can be me
I can be the one who everyone sees but me.
70 · Sep 2019
writing
kaela Sep 2019
writing is how i cope.
writing i how i deal,
with all the wounds that don't want to heal
with all the things i don't want to feel
with all the things i don't want to be real
with everything.

writing is my grand escape,
from everything i don't want to face.
68 · Nov 2019
lying
kaela Nov 2019
would you be lying
right next to me
or would someone else be lying
where you should be?

would you be there,
would you care?
if i was on my deathbed
my mind filled with the thoughts of those with a death head,
would you be there?
68 · Mar 2020
hide and cry
kaela Mar 2020
anger is overpowering.

when anger comes, the party's over.

it's one thing piled on another thing,
and the urge to hide under the cover.

to hide and cry
because the anger you feel
doesn't feel right.

hide and cry
because the anger
wants to stay the night.

hide and cry
because the anger
makes you feel bad.

hide and cry
because the anger
only makes you feel mad.
68 · Dec 2020
when we loved each other
kaela Dec 2020
my fingers trace your skin,
as your lips trace mine.
leaving love marks in a trail,
as our bodies align.

in this blissful moment
nothing is wasted.
my pieces no longer feel broken,
with the wholeness that you have created.

your eyes on my lips that are slightly agape,
your breath on my neck as you tell me to wait.
not much longer and we'll both explode,
as we unravel time is slowed.

i get lost in your eyes;
bluer than the bluest of icy skies.
i just want your lips
and that unbreakable kiss.

this is what it's like when we loved each other
67 · Mar 2020
trying too hard
kaela Mar 2020
some try too hard
while others not enough
67 · Sep 2019
seven little words
kaela Sep 2019
i
am slowly
falling
in a big hole filled with not
love, but
with air and
you are the only one who can save me.

h
e
l
p

m
e
.
67 · Nov 2020
to be saved
kaela Nov 2020
people talk about being saved,
they make it seem so special.
little did i know that being saved by you
would make me go mental.

craving your touch
kiss
skin against mine.
anything to crave this aching from time.

oh to be saved again
maybe by someone new.
because i don't want to be saved
at least not by you.
not again.
66 · Oct 2020
longing...
kaela Oct 2020
oh to be held in your strong arms again.
bracing against the worlds horrors,
nothing to worry about
for we are each others shields.

oh to look inside your eyes again.
getting lost in the sea of colors,
no map to help
no the want to be found.

oh to hear your heart beat against mine again.  
listening to the strong beats,
pressed against my ear
as you hold me close.

oh to be able to be with you again.
longing to be with you every second, of every hour.
never getting enough each time i see you.
it will never be enough.

i will always long for more,
until i am beside you in every way
for the rest of my life.
and even after.
66 · Nov 2020
Leaving
kaela Nov 2020
After people take what they want
Why do they always leave?
Some stay to tease and taunt,
But is it really that fun to deceive?

Leaving is better than staying.
Teasing and taunting is easier.
You took what you want,
So why don’t you just leave me alone sir.

Stop pulling me around
like I’m your lost little puppy.
Stop playing with my heart
Like it’s a toy.

You may think this is cool
That it’s funny,
But it’s not and it’s something
That only you enjoy.
-Kaela
65 · Dec 2020
all along.
kaela Dec 2020
blue eyes,
dark hair.
don't you know
it's not fair.

lead me on,
then drop me there.
pick her instead
because you don't care.

pick her up
in your blue truck,
i know you chose her
cause she'll let you ****.

coming back?
good luck.
cause when you come back
you'll be awestruck.

i don't need you
just like you didn't choose me.
i'm the baddest *****
all my friends agree.

time to say goodbye
cause all you do is lie.
you lead me on,
and did me wrong,
but boy we both know
it was i you needed all along.
65 · Mar 2020
been a minute
kaela Mar 2020
it's been a minute
since i felt his touch.
since i kissed his lips.
since i've had him in my embrace.

i miss him.

it will be a minute
since i'll feel his touch again.
since i'll kiss his lips again.
since i'll have him in my arms again.

i can't wait until then.
to feel his hands in mine.
to feel his soft lips as he kisses me.
to feel his embrace.

i miss him.
65 · Sep 2019
my home
kaela Sep 2019
you look at me with those blue eyes
and i swear that i melt inside
every time

please don't be in a hurry to leave
stay for a while and sit with me
so i feel less alone

and now my house is no longer my home
because my home is more like a feeling
and it's something that I didn't notice before
but you are the reason

you are my home
because when I'm with you
I don't feel sad and all alone

with you i feel happiness and joy
I haven't felt it in a while so it feels strange
but please don't leave
because my life with you is something that I don't want to change.
63 · Nov 2020
The love tree
kaela Nov 2020
I love you,
but words never seem to work.
Maybe this time I can get it right.

I love you,
More than the sun adores the moon.
I love you,
And I hope to see you soon.

I love you,
So I plant this tree in dirt.
I love you,
And I’m going to make this work.

I love you,
So i water and care for this tree.
I love you,
And this tree shows the love in me.

I love you,
And the tree continues to grow.
I love you,
But the tree is slowly dying.
62 · Nov 2020
the seasons
kaela Nov 2020
winter dark and cold,
scared of what the season brings.
what once was last December,
isn't quite what it was before.

spring warm and bright,
peacefully happy with the season being.
flowers and vines grow from the dark abyss
that winter left in my grip.

summer hot and heated,
hating how the season begins.
the flowers and vines that grew
slowly die from the loss of water from you.

fall chilly and dusk,
fear slowly creeping in.
will this season be like last?
will i be trapped again?
62 · Dec 2020
in my dreams
kaela Dec 2020
you were there with me,
in my dreams
making me laugh until my belly ached.

you were there with me,
in my dreams
which i wish were true when i went to wake.

you were there with me,
in my dreams
holding my hand and walking with me.

you were there with me,
in my dreams
you driving and i in the passenger seat.

you were there with me,
in my dreams
as a warning to stay away.

you were only there with me,
in my dreams
as a red flag of betray.

you aren't here with me,
in my dreams
for i have given you up.

you aren't here with me,
in my dreams
because you're using me as backup.
kaela Nov 2020
people ask what others are thankful for,
and they go with the generic answer of "my family, my friends, my home".
but what happens when
your family isn't there
your friends switch up
and your home is no where?
just a bit down atm
61 · Sep 2019
the feeling
kaela Sep 2019
there is no denying
that this feeling i have is terrifying
every time i go blank
and
can't seem to think straight.

I am numb
and feel nothing.
will someone please
cut me
hang me
shoot me
break me
or at least make me feel something.

I can't smile,
or laugh,
or even speak.
the strong feelings that I once had
become weaker and seem bleak.

It's like I was someone else,
or a different side of me took over;
the side that likes to over think
and have my mind tell me lies
about myself.

the demons control me.
I don't seem to have a choice.
I want to speak out against them,
but every time it's like I lose my voice.
kaela Nov 2020
I’m talking to multiple people,
Trying to fill the void you’re leaving.
Slowly growing more and more,
Deeper and deeper it becomes.

The people aren’t working,
Your actions are deceiving.
Just go on and walk out the door,
We both know your feelings for me are no more.

The void will never be filled,
It will continue to grow
And I think we both know
Why.

These people aren’t you,
And that’s the problem.
The only question is,
How do we solve it?
60 · Sep 2019
:/
kaela Sep 2019
:/
alone.
heart made of stone.
nothing but a pile a bone,
no longer alive.
60 · Sep 2019
pen-sized hole
kaela Sep 2019
she kissed you
and i want to be mad at her
but I can't because
what she did to you, you did to her.

and now my heart hurts
and I don't know what to do.
because the pen-sized hole in my heart
is because of you.

my heart is bleeding out inside
and there's a tiny pen-sized hole
that I have to hide.

I try to stop it
but it keeps bleeding
and the tears in my eyes
are not receding.

not sure what to do
i want to scream and hit you.
how could you make the mistake
to make my heart hurt and ache?

but after all I still love you
and walking away is the very last thing I will do.
so for now we fix it
and make a deal
because my heart, it hurts
and needs some time to heal.

but until then
I know for sure
that I want to be with you
because with you
i feel secure.
60 · Apr 2020
healing soul
kaela Apr 2020
he had the healing soul.

the smiles he held on his cheeks,
always met his eyes around her.

his eyes held the feeling of empathy,
that would always be there for her.

he had a healing soul,
and was waiting for her to let him heal hers.
59 · Nov 2020
In your mind
kaela Nov 2020
What’s going on in your mind?
I used to be able to read you
and know what you’re thinking.
But ever since the first time,
It feels like I met a different you.
Your eyes don’t show the emotions you’re speaking.

What are you thinking?
What’s so hard?
Why won’t you share?
Why aren’t we speaking?
Someone take out the shard
Out of my heart where it’s rested there.

Someone take me away.
I don’t want to be stuck here,
But I know that if someone were to take me away
I’d fight tooth and nail,
Using my dying breath to tell you how I felt.

In your mind,
The demons are hiding.
Don’t let them get to you,
Continue to keep fighting.
It’ll be worth it in the end,
Trust me darling.
You will finally understand what’s its like
To live life out of your mind.
59 · Jul 2020
I didn’t ask...
kaela Jul 2020
You did this,
and you did that.
But silly you,
I didn’t ask.
58 · Jun 2020
can we go back?
kaela Jun 2020
lets go back
to the time when it was easy.
to the time when you had your arms around me,
not really caring what our parents were talking about,
only caring that you were hugging me.

lets go back
to the time when it was loving.
to the time when we were walking through the store,
playfully pushing and pulling and shoving,
and having fun while your mom shopped.

lets go back
to the time when we enjoyed it.
to the time when we were watching the movie,
cuddling on the couch,
not paying any attention to the film, only what we were doing.

lets go back
to the time when we were happy.
to the time when we first hung out,
i stole your hoodie and you kissed me,
and then you asked if you could be with me.

lets go back
to the time when we were together.
to the time when what she said about us, didn't matter.
when we could do whatever,
back when we were together.

can we go back?
56 · Sep 2019
What's wrong with me?
kaela Sep 2019
What's wrong with me?
I was fine the other day,
but now my sadness is all in the way.

What's wrong with me?
I have nothing left to say,
I want to be fine
and i want to be okay, but it doesn't seem to work out that way.

What's wrong with me?
Why is it so hard to be happy
when everything in my life is because of me?

What's wrong with me?
Why can't I wake up
and appreciate what's in front of me?
Why am I always wanting more?
What am i missing, why do i feel empty?

Nothing is wrong with me,
not physically,
but it's what you can't see
that is slowly draining the life out of me.

All my happiness gone,
in the blink of an eye;
I have everything anyone could ask for,
so why?

Why am I still sad?
When I have people who love me,
truly;
Why am I still sad,
when I have a person who cares,
a person that has always been there.
Why?
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