yes, twas
a hundred and sixty
days of pure
happiness and love
of pure insanity
and sadness.

those words
werent really meant
to hurt me
nor to encourage me
but
twas meant to
tell me
that those
a hundred and sixty
days were all
untamed,
untrue,
unloved
and then all stars
became blue.

tears wrapped my cheeks
air left my chest
trembles visited my hands
i will never understand
what happened
this night
from felicity
to fondness
to like
to love
to betrayal
to anger
to sadness
and to, again,
loneliness

words can't
sentence how
it hurt her.

music can't
stitch her broken
part.

his presence
may or may not
prolong her
agony,
despair,
and misery.

in his eyes
there live
traces of
sadness.

her actions
push him away
which her mind
can't tell.

he does want that
but she, she wants
it too.
suddenly,
something came out
of the blue.
why is he still
holding onto her?
why is he still
waiting for her?
why is he still
loving her?
she wasn't irreplaceable.

what now,
has become of us?
what now
has happened to us?
though, there was
never an "us"
there has always been
this uncalled fantasy,
lonely reality,
pure emphaty,
blurry clarity,
imperfect friendship,
perfect mistakes
and clear remakes
of what we did
of what took place
from before
till now.

i've chosen
to remain
and retain
what's now.

you've chosen
the same thing.
now, what?
you never chose this
but you chose "that"

my heart tells me
to send you away
to stay away
to look for another
someone, another
love
but a part of me
doesn't want to
let you go.
but,
if you're hurting,
you're sad
because of what we
had,
please do inform,
please say it,
straigh to my face
that everything is gone
and i shall move on

thus, i shall
find for another someone
another man
whom i can, again,
love, like all the guys
i've ever loved and had.

and you must become
one of them,
one of the past,
but, just bit
hurtful and doleful
for me to look back
onto

from the very
first night
we shared
these bearable
adorations
these happy
emotions,
i was so happy
i hope you were too
i wasn't desperate
like you were too,
i wasn't expressive
like you were too.

we both were
playing it safe,
way too fun
way too out
of the "ordinary"

beyond what i know
there lives this
competition within you
there lives this
confusion succumbing you
there lives this
remnant of what's before
the beautiful execution
of pure moving on
from such twinny tragedy
from such uncalled happening

and i am now
regretting
that something took
place last september
and all i can remember
is that i felt the "feels"
of such sudden forever.

am i starting
to lose sight
of what's within?

i am beggining
to reminice
such melancholy
which made me happy,
doleful, loathful and
insane.

yes,
after that night
after that fated
day, that "yesternight"
i was filled with tears,
tears, sadness, tears,
and again,
tears.

deep, it's way too
deep to sink it,
way too inconceivable,
way too much
to comprehend,
to understand,
to interpret,
what those words
meant
what those phrases
were for
was it something
to be hated, or
adored?

now, what do i have
to feel
from this surreal
sensation,
way too superb,
absurd as it is?

those phrases
was it to hurt me?
or encourage me?

thus,
t'was meant
for nothing more
nothing less.