t'was a cold
rainy night
when i began
loving you
too much.

t'was another
summery night
when i began
doubting "me"
too much.

one query and everything
was bewildered
t'was too perplex
to be answered.

one poem
one letter
one word
was heard
and all were
better.

"if ever i fall
in love with
another "him"
shall everything
be the same?"

he answered...

"either with a smile
or a vile
gratitude would be
my sire...for in such
quick moments
i had you to
love me...everything will
be...till love comes
again
and friendship shall
never end."

Saturday
someone knocked
again..
someone knocked
both were good

Sunday
i liked the first knock
i really liked it a lot
i fell deeply
it was steep
and risky

Monday
he stood tall
under the falling leaves
under those heavenly
evergreens

Tuesday
someone became sad
and i felt bad
for this someone
seems so succumbed
in a radiant sky
but full of cries
he knocked twice

Wednesday
i wrote him a poem
filled with emotions
and happy potions
it did work
but not much

Thursday
he started acting differently,
gradually and gently
he moved me
and so i did
he made me laugh
and so i did

Friday
something came to mind
i realized i was really blind
he told me, plenty of times
as the sound of wind chimes
disappeared and ended
its last notes
that it was me
and it was him.

beside the
lonely,
busy
streets of
felicity,
i pondered
wondered
and then
discovered
that i was too
naive, too wicked
to say i like you
when i'm not
allowed to.

along those usual
corridors and doors
i wait...
when i needn't have to.

inside the sunlit
room i witness
your smile and
for a while
i get to be happy
and then lonely
knowing i can't
have and hug you
for fate won't let me to.

gratitude always
engulf me
for i have met
such an annoying
yet sweet "you"
not-so-good-looking
not-so-good-sounding
yet full of tragedy "you"
always doleful
but never loathful "you"
filled with cries
yet full of smiles "you"

i know i'm way
too selfish to say
i like you
but i want to
be your friend,
a good, sweet
and caring one at least

on this day
shall i mark
a "supposed" endless
friendship
so steep
and never stark bleak.

i was under
the moonlit sky
no lies,
but,
full of cries

he was under
the sunlit
yet rainy
sky
no doubt,
he could be
mine

maybe both sides
wouldn't have been
so seen..
maybe both sides
were so close
that my happy pill's daily dose
is way too much

then i gave in
i told him
after he did
we reciprocated each other
no need to be bothered

but then
again
i told myself
i can conquer him
but not now,
tomorrow,
nor today
but maybe
when the heavens
and times
would let me
so he is.

something bloomed
last Friday
it was beautiful
so powerful
rain showered
and it was a
flower.

...i am made.
...carrying such burden.
...i am made.
...thinking i was broken.

...i am here
...all alone
...in a dark valley
...of tears
...all alone
...in an unreciprocated
...appreciation
...all alone
...in this nightmare
...seemingly a dream
...seemingly...

...i was there
...but
...now i am here
...here where no one
...sees
...where no one
...wonders
...ponders
...and where no one
...is alone
...but me.

"before"
i was doleful
in one way
or another
it is he
who i prefer

i was willing to
die in the arms
of an angel
or an impurity

i was living
with my eyes close
mouth shut
ears are deaf
and
music? "dead"

i was out of it
life's a bore
nothing's all you'd ask for
life's so lifeless
all you'd get is stress

"maybe a daily dose
of inspiration"
(says a friend)
would work

summer and barren weekends...


"after"
i met you
under the autumn trees
you were beautifully made
musically gifted
mentally capable

i heard you
your words
talks about how
i should accept
"before''
and never clamor
for arid days
never seek
for stark bleak

yes, i was afraid
i might fall deeply...
deeper than what
i can handle
and contain
deeper than what
i can say
and digest

love in the winter...

"now"
our journey begins
my love,
towards each other's
heart
towards each other's
hands

our love blooms
in winter
and might die
in summer

BUT, let's
thank and love
every piece of us
every breath we take
is now we make.

is it you or him?
is it him or you?
or maybe both,
who knows?

he was my first Monday
you were my first Friday

he was my music
you were my words

but i know
deep inside
this dungeon
only
curiosity has risen
and
i was never fallen
from where i used to be
from where i was with my music

yes
i know,
it's still him
only that...
it felt like everything ended
last Friday.




but,
everything started
last Monday.