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Ceryn May 2013
What could've been there, we don't seem to know.
Deep inside, I wanted to be all that your soul ever wanted.
But I know,
I knew even before,
that when the time comes that I need to know the truth,
it would be the most painful one.
That day came like a bitter storm on a sunny summer day.
Slowly,
it has torn
even
the thinnest
piece
of faith
I had
for myself.
It was nothing for a goner like me to taste such bittersweet kiss of reality.
It was all natural, so typical,
very fantastical, extremely tragical.
Surely, it wasn't me all along.
It wasn't me alone.
It was never me.
I know, there are things I thought I knew and understood well:
things I thought were real,
things I knew were just so fine.
I gave up on the idea of nothingness despite the vague feel.
I set it aside, knowing that there might have been, just hidden.
But, of course, everything was plain wrong;
it wasn't surprising, though!
Guess I just got the price for having hoped too much on things that seemed real.
Well, they seemed to be the greatest stuff I'd ever felt,
after a long while.
At least, it was.
It really was until I had to realize it wasn't.
Accept. Regret. Forget.
I tried to release the tension in my head.
I tried [so hard] to cover those tears up, until I'm all alone.
I tried to shake it off,
stroll around the city,
see some happy faces,
read a boring notebook,
or just hang in there and look for some pain again.
I tried, I swear, I tried until I finally grew tired.
Because in everything I had to do, I just have to think there was you,
who had been there all along to make me realize such dismal truth,
that once in my life, I met someone, thought he was the one,
but broke it all in just a while with his cold song.
And once again, I knew, I felt
I was falling in love
With someone,
*Alone.
Ceryn May 2013
Your words just spelled
How it's like in my head
Your words redefined
My ever lonely kind
Your words liberated
A mind so overrated
Your words are passionate
These tears, you create
Your words felt so true
And I know it's always you
But your words killed my heart
With a gentle touch of art.
Ceryn May 2013
I'm loving you again.
Ceryn May 2013
You are my poem.
Untold,
so true,
but awfully blue.

You are my song.
Silvery,
so gentle,
but tragically sung.

You are my story.
Explicit,
so fine,
but a fancy crime.

You are my landscape.
Beautiful,
so natural,
but blandly done.

But,
yes.
I know.
It's just
*You were.
Ceryn May 2013
I’ve been writing boring poems, and fancy doodles,
The ones I thought would make sense in the end.
But I never realized, I was only using them
Just to create a sense in my head.
What I once realized in this lonely earth
Love cannot grow on a barren ground
When you care for the one who forgot your worth
But you’re still waiting to be found.
I know it’s for real but can’t ever come true
Though I know I still need your love
But I know deep inside, wherever you may go
There'll always be me and you in my heart.
Ceryn May 2013
You were the love song
That was sang through the breeze
When there was no one to blame
For what I thought was certainty

Maybe the reason
After all that has gone
Was to bring back love for me
And fill my heart with lullabies

But my melody
Failed to reach out to you
When the clouds seem to cover
My lonely heart from loving you

I watched the sunset
Sealed with so much regret
I could’ve been happy now
Knowing that there is something more

My words can’t perfect
My flaws command regret
My heart that was once broken
Further breaks into tiny bits

There’s nothing to do
Life has taught me two things
Do what might be right for you
Or taste the pain of might-have-beens.
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