I know it's been a day since you died but I still think you're alive.
I know it's been a month since you died but I still cry at the mention of your name.
I know it's been five months but I still get angry everytime someone says that they're sorry for my loss.
I know it's been eight months but I still see a ghost of the memory of you.
I know it's been thirteen months but I still worry about everyone you left behind.
I know it's been seventeen months but I still think you're going to come back.
I know it's been twenty four months but I still regret never saying goodbye.
I know it's been twenty eight months but I still cry in the middle of the night.
I know it's been thirty three months but I still crave your hug.
I know it's been thirty six months but I still remember every minute I had with you.
It's been three years without seeing your face,
                hearing your voice.
It's been three years and I still miss you like hell.

My therapist told me that I had an addictive personality.
I blew her off thinking it was all *******.
But what I didn't realise was how easy it was for me to get addicted to
People
            Actions
                         Feelings
No matter what I did it became addictive.
The sight of a certain person.
      The thoughts that should keep me up at night.
            Everything.
Now I think about how she right because everything was an addiction, being addicted was just another addiction.

How can I shatter your world without leaving a single scratch?
How can I guilt trip you into making you happy?
How can I make you cry without a single tear?

There's a girl crying
I can see her perfectly:
Long red hair
Piercing green eyes
The palest skin you'll ever see
Always listening to music; like its her lifeline, her oxygen.
The scars you'll never see on her thighs.
And the memory of accidents all over her; on her face, her arm, her legs.
The more I look at her the more I realise this girl is me.
And the reason she- I am crying is because of you, your abusive eyes.
You may not even be looking at me, but I am for certain that you're judging me, as if you were God on my judgement day.
And for that I couldn't forgive you, but just know I don't blame you.

They prescribe medicine that's supposed to "fix" us,
                       They create wars that are supposed to "help" us,
They send us to schools to try and "teach" us,
                        They give us news to "inform" us,
     but
          why
               can't
                    They
                         tell
                              us
                               ­    the truth
                               instead
                         of
                    what      
                They
          want
     us to
know?