You are super human
amazing
******* perfect
loving, caring, wonderful, soothing, and sweet
until you're not...
you hold it in
an annoyance here
my character flaw there
until
you
EXPLODE
BANG
"you're a loser!"
"you'll never change!"
"just keep your **** together!"
I DO!
cough drop turned to razor blade
"I just want you to love yourself,"
"like I love you...."
I do

Guy walks into a bar
he's lonely and he wants to drink
he's been drinking too much
he's sad
but
it's fine
he meets a girl
she takes him home
great ***
she forgets his name
and he forgets her
he get's drunk
gives her a call
they have fun...
and fall in love
she sang him a song
drunk, in the garage, during a smoke
and she was etched into his heart
she sang left me in a hole
after a year of fun, love, and struggle
she left him in a hole
he's far from blameless
but he loved her
and
he tried
she just stopped
he doesn't blame her
he's a drunk
he was embarrassing
but she said she wouldn't quit
and she did
then quickly moved on
he'd gotten better
now he's worse
haunted

if he wasn't a drunk,
he'd never met her.
if he wasn't a drunk,
he'd have married her.
if he wasn't a drunk,
she wouldn't have liked him.
if he wasn't a drunk,
she'd have stayed.

guy walks into a bar, and never leaves.

She used to love me
She used to drink with me
She used to have fun with me
She used to do drugs with me
She used to hit me
She used to **** me
She used to give me black eyes
She used to
I miss her

This spot,
This is my favorite spot,
On you.
Just this little patch,
Top side of your hip.
Everything good happens right here,
At a party, when I can't stand you not being close,
I grab that spot, and pull it in to me;
All the sudden my best friend is there.
Whenever I'm sad,
All I need is to rap my arm around,
Lay my my hand against it,
And suddenly I'm imbrased.
Swallowed up by love.
When I'm with you,
And I grab you from behind,
That's where I reach.
Imagine,
If this one little spot.
Top of your hip,
Can bring me so much joy, comfort, elation...
Imagine you
All of you
And how much you do for me...
Every day...

I used to worry
You'd OD while I was gone
I'd come home to a cold body...
It's funny
Not funny haha
funny sad
But I was right,
You just didn't die

It's cold outside
Frigid is a better word
Yet I'm still sitting here
Gotta have that nicotine
Why am I doing this?
It's cold
I'm cold
Normally,
I have no regrets
I like it
I enjoy it
Consequences be dammed
When it's warm
Now it's cold
I wish you'd warm up again
I mean the weather
It's cold
I'm not thinking straight
Better go back inside

I wonder sometimes
If you really know
How much I hurt when you push away
It's not your fault
That you get scared
Your rotten past
Has decayed your trust
Eating away at your optimism
Leaving only gristly fear
And love
I still see the love shine in your eyes
When you think I'm not looking
And the fear
Sad and caring
Like a whipped dog
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
The pain almost tangible
You shed not a tear
I will cry in your place
When you finally push all the way

I never thought that it would come this far
Never expected i would fall this hard
I only knew the fun that we could have
With some drinks, and a bed, or a table instead
But Nothing new or real, just one quick feel
Like with the other girls that came, and went
But you surprised me, and filled me up
With things I didn't know I didn't have
I will miss you, when things blow up
I just hope it doesn't happen soon
But if and when, it does, go belly up
I'll keep your memory in loving dreams
And i hope you'll keep my shirt held tight
When you don't want to be alone at night
Cause if it's not you and me
And it fails miserably
Just Remember back to Christmas night
Then you can Smile and grin and start again
And make sure your always made to feel that bright.

I smoke smack
Black isnt bad
But brown is better
Just let it bubble and boil
On that hot tin foil
Cause the pain is never far
When your stuck on tar
And there is no doubt
That quitting's a bout
So if you can't do that...
Just don't ever run out

Oh you, for whom I have settled for.
How I long to eat alone no more!
My thought may wander,
but you do sometimes cross my mind.
Like when I am tantalized by images,
your buggy eyes and large right breast.
They cause my heart to swell with excitement!
Waiting, for my return at long last to the apartment.
My soul yearns for your companionship.
I shall fill you with love!
When only I return,
I will release the flood gates of emotion.
I shall smother you in affection.
so be warned,
my return is neigh!

like an old burnt up cigar
nothing there
just smoke in air
gone
like yesterday and yesterdays yesterday
time
now past
it cannot last
gone
go away
gone for good
gone at last
gladly gone
gone to pass

Run from suffering
and from pain.
Say Goodbye to the clouds,
if they will not bring rain.
No salt without saltiness.
No love without caress.
Fight for what is,
gone be what is not.
If you spend your life waiting,
you’re going to rot.
So keep on moving
and keep your head cool.
A rock that keeps rolling
makes moss it’s fool.

warm air
cool breeze
the grass grows tall
and the clouds pass by
everything is near
and the birds ain't shy
when the sun is down
the nights stay dear
don't bring your jacket
you won't need it here

I fall fast
try and keep up
cupid's curse
my misfortune
but love late
is love lost
why wait?
Jump!
look later
or miss me
today and tomorrow,
our periods past
stay strong in the search,
live love lasts

Now 20
not quite 21
I do not expect
to know all the world
and all its ways
but,
I do know, 2 or 3
things about life
and how all things work.
There’s struggle,
hand over fist
and the good
is precious
uncommon, its value
gives it the power
to overcome,
and it can.
Change is constant
friends today are rivals tomorrow
or just drift away, sinking to another life
love fades quickly in times unwavering light
so does life.
Why then,
knowing these things that I do,
am I surprised?
like a host
showing up to his cancelled party
unaware of its status.
I knew of the end,
I knew change was near,
yet it caught me unprepared and unarmed.
My next lesson,
if I am so inclined to choose
is acceptance of life
before I’m 22

You are such a bad idea,
I should know better by now.
how does it go?
fool me once....
I'm a fool far more then that.
The Greeks saw love as a kind of madness
how fitting,
that I try again and again
expecting a different result.
If our tale is written of,
then I am Hosea
and you're Miss Kate.
commanded, I'll show love again.
but when you go to leave,
please,
don't shoot

Where do I begin?
to take this miscarriage of thought
and feeling
from my reeling mind to the calm accepting page
where do I begin?
shall I attempt to harness the beast
which dwells within
bridling the pain and upset of life
domesticating it and making it my own
or do I begin again?
to exorcise that pit of my soul
to reach into the cold dark chasm
binding that which haunts me to the sacrificial language
placing it upon the alter as a gift
a barter for redemption
where do I begin?
to understand
this beautiful curse of heartfelt song
contracted through love
triggered by heartbreak
a blistering sore of emotion
insatiable and incurable

If I've learned anything from this at all
it's that
I need to find someone like you
someone who knows what good music is

A free spirit who loves life
following it where ever it leads

Someone who lives, loves, laughs, and listens
as I aspire too

I'f I've learned anything from this at all
it's that
there are people like you
out there in the world

that could like me

Do not make me wait
I have to much to show
I am bursting at the seams
with laughter
Joy
Do not make me wait
for if I must
continue holding this within
I Will
Scream
adoration and admiration
tumbling from a fools mouth
Do not make me wait
for my thoughts are cruel
my heart weak
Do not wait
until I
burst

My hands to the ground
bent knees shake
chattering
heart racing with
anticipation, nerves
now,
I wait.
POP!
freedom by fire
I can not lose,
will not
as long as I am allowed
to leave the blocks.
I hope, no prey
your finger have strength
for if it does
I will become a whirlwind
out pacing competition
with every stride
winning
and taking that with which
I so strongly desire
I will hold it proudly
within the winners circle
never letting go

Your a sparkling star
I see from far away
who's shining light left years ago
traveling through the cold of space
reaching me now, unchanged
a ghost of what once was

Diamond in the sky
once a handful of jewels
valuable and precious
that slipped through unsure fingers
splashing into an unforgiving river
swept out to sea

Gone now, from sea to sky
your sparkle forever catches my eye

Though the days are well and good
the night is when my thoughts do haunt me
a ghost of memory refusing to die
the tears are gone, but the nights are long
lonely i begin again down the sordid path
where I can taste her lips, smell her scent
hear her laugh, and see that light within her eyes
those windows to her soul
where I saw my love for who she was
a secret known only to us
but when night fades to dawn
my memories too will out run the light
I'll forget how her nose did dance
my bunny, my love
let's flee the light, forever night
so I may gaze into her eyes again
our secret safe forever more
Alas! the Sun is up
her shades now drawn,
our love is gone
now, our time is in the night
where I will dream of things set right

Though the belief is still there
the faith has long since run out
having volunteered my heart
I can no longer bleed
I pray for change
though my mind knows better
is this your will?
or the cruel wind of fate?
won't thy heart soften?
metamorphosis complete
so that our paths may cross
intertwining and increasing
perhaps, but perhaps not
my belief shall not die, nor my faith falter

What is love, but deceit
If not forced, then faked
Clay molded into a rose
Then why not live the lie?
Smell the sweet perfume of mud
So that fib may take form
The earth transformed
Death into life
Oh loves great strength is in it's seeming truth
That she may think I trust,
and I pretend to know her faith
So I shall yell it from the mountains
"Love is fake, a fiendish impostor!"
and I shall whisper to the wind, "but that's ok."

No longer the one I thought I knew
a girl with heart both sweet and loving
was hardened by life, her walls she grew
my love for her i was not bluffing
we made mistakes, us both, is true
still, working it out will always seem possible
but lying and hurting is all that we do
her walls became to great an obstacle
perhaps someday our fates shall alter
she'll open to me, I shall not press
our love shall grow and never falter
though today her company I must depart
I'll keep her forever within my heart

Shut out the light
say goodnight
hope this all turns out alright
Is it worth the fight?
your probably right
your words that bite
I want to and I just might
no more light
everything's alright
no more fight
you were right
I will not feel the bite
goodnight

The clock counts down
These thoughts can not stay at bay
as the wave pulls me under
the clouds roar with thunder
and there you stand
upon the shore
my solution
a revelation
your eyes could pull me out,
or shove me deeper

This feeling washes over me
soft and gentle
it sweeps away my fear
making the pain unbearable
Now I day dream of the cold steel against my head
first the roar! then silence...
with nothing left to hurt me
It may not be happiness
but it's the closest i'll ever come
being numb

Of the things I've learned
about light, love, and loss
one thing always stays true,
no matter how right,
never trust the light

Though the sun may rise
giving it's warmth to the earth
it passes swiftly through the sky
and day descends to night

It can not be reasoned to stay
or begged to be true
it's warmth is not honest
it will only fool you

Though I have learned
about darkness, disgust, and desire
I still search for eternal summer,
to have the light,
without fear of night