Now 20
not quite 21
I do not expect
to know all the world
and all its ways
but,
I do know, 2 or 3
things about life
and how all things work.
There’s struggle,
hand over fist
and the good
is precious
uncommon, its value
gives it the power
to overcome,
and it can.
Change is constant
friends today are rivals tomorrow
or just drift away, sinking to another life
love fades quickly in times unwavering light
so does life.
Why then,
knowing these things that I do,
am I surprised?
like a host
showing up to his cancelled party
unaware of its status.
I knew of the end,
I knew change was near,
yet it caught me unprepared and unarmed.
My next lesson,
if I am so inclined to choose
is acceptance of life
before I’m 22

You are such a bad idea,
I should know better by now.
how does it go?
fool me once....
I'm a fool far more then that.
The Greeks saw love as a kind of madness
how fitting,
that I try again and again
expecting a different result.
If our tale is written of,
then I am Hosea
and you're Miss Kate.
commanded, I'll show love again.
but when you go to leave,
please,
don't shoot

Where do I begin?
to take this miscarriage of thought
and feeling
from my reeling mind to the calm accepting page
where do I begin?
shall I attempt to harness the beast
which dwells within
bridling the pain and upset of life
domesticating it and making it my own
or do I begin again?
to exorcise that pit of my soul
to reach into the cold dark chasm
binding that which haunts me to the sacrificial language
placing it upon the alter as a gift
a barter for redemption
where do I begin?
to understand
this beautiful curse of heartfelt song
contracted through love
triggered by heartbreak
a blistering sore of emotion
insatiable and incurable

If I've learned anything from this at all
it's that
I need to find someone like you
someone who knows what good music is

A free spirit who loves life
following it where ever it leads

Someone who lives, loves, laughs, and listens
as I aspire too

I'f I've learned anything from this at all
it's that
there are people like you
out there in the world

that could like me

Do not make me wait
I have to much to show
I am bursting at the seams
with laughter
Joy
Do not make me wait
for if I must
continue holding this within
I Will
Scream
adoration and admiration
tumbling from a fools mouth
Do not make me wait
for my thoughts are cruel
my heart weak
Do not wait
until I
burst

My hands to the ground
bent knees shake
chattering
heart racing with
anticipation, nerves
now,
I wait.
POP!
freedom by fire
I can not lose,
will not
as long as I am allowed
to leave the blocks.
I hope, no prey
your finger have strength
for if it does
I will become a whirlwind
out pacing competition
with every stride
winning
and taking that with which
I so strongly desire
I will hold it proudly
within the winners circle
never letting go