I don't feel it is coming
I don't feel it at all
Somehow I'm numb
To the candles and the lights
Many are shopping
Or making big plans
While I'm just here
Wondering what's wrong
No white carpet outside
No excitement inside
It doesn't make sense
Every year I was joyful
Running up and down
Wrapping paper and bows
Surprises and thrills
Now it's all gone
I would rather fall asleep
A hug, a happy wish, a thank you and goodnight
Is it just me?
I hear cheerful songs
An emotional desert
All my own
No sun or clouds
No moon or stars
A dried creek
In my heart
Tomorrow is another day
I will do it all again
Maybe that is just me
I can do it if I want
Nothing stops me
But my own thoughts
I can smile, it's ok
Laugh but feel hollow
I have done that before
I want that old joy
I know it is in there
Come out I command you
Echoes in the dark
My family now surrounds me
Love in their embrace
Joy in their voice
Generations of traditions
Forget all the presents
My family is my joy

The end stares, straight in my eyes
I step back to see
The picture laid befor me
Broad is the horizon
But darkness appears close
Forever in my thoughts
Empty how it feels
It has not moved
Yet I have come closer
One step at a time
To dwell in my heart
It seeks to sneak in
And freeze each drop
Of blood that runs through
So giving me life
One beat for each breath
It roams, I retreat
Slowly giving me up
My land and my home
But I can still see
My family and friends
The dinners together
Laughter and tears
My time is now near
Goodbye is forever
I bid all farewell
Until we meet again
Once again to say cheers

Help me understand
The loneliness that you hide
Squeezing tight the heart
Letting spill out the courage
That could break free and fly
Help me understand
The fear that I hear
Flutter the air
In your voice
Taking away, the mighty strength
That could stand
And rise again
Help me understand
The confusion
That you hold
Running dry
All the will
That could power, it's way out
Help me understand
The resentment you keep in
Tearing down the love
That could bring us back together
To build a new life
I hope to understand
How our dreams
Crashed and burned
But more than anything else
I hope you understand
It all lies within
The union of our hearts

I looked up to you
I lost you
I lost me
I lost you as a part of me
That part now goes on
In search of who I was
You were my strength
For every lion
At least two cubs
Learn to fight
For survival
Grow to believe
In no doubts
Walk alone
One first time
Yearn for protection
And a word
Imagine a day
Forever shared
Was it real?
I wish to know
Paths of old
But new to me
Dreams so far
A past so near
Walk with doubt
Among large shadows
Walk with grace
Into the fear
Quiet the soul
Without it empty
A strength so deep
I did not see
Who I was
Is not forgotten
To move ahead
Is not new

Wear your gown
Walk and smile
A day so special, it is for you
You have waited, for so long
and your hand, bears as witness
Of the struggles, that have passed
Your insided beauty, and your glow
Were hidden and sealed, for some time
Breaths so shallow, with the pain
In the veins, and the soul
Lift one hand, wave to all
Tears of joy, and farewell
A honeymoon, and a life
New not old, past the dawn
Fear of joy, not of sorrow
Fill the aisle, as you walk
Look ahead, don't turn back
Take the risk, stumble and fall
Pure and white, in this moment
All the rest, left behind
I am proud, so are you
You have grown, before my eyes
It is time, to hand you off
With these tears, in my eyes
My heart beats fast, yours not so
It rests assured, of each step
But I smile
And in return
You say thank you
My dear nurse

The chains have melted
The bars are gone
I don't know or care why
I am free
I can see far
I can feel my heart beat
I can take a deep breath
No fear in my mind
I'm a lunatic, am I?
What is old is now new
Winter is upon us
Snowflakes floating down
White streets and the houses
Only sun in the sky
Melting the snow, the bars, the chains
My heart growing stronger
As I am in your arms

I want to run wild
Without saddles on my back
Galloping alone but surrounded
By rumbling on the ground
Along plains of life and death
Conquering hurdles lying still
Rocks and pebbles thrown my way
In this land foreign to all
My mane floating free
As I jump over rivers
Then up paths curled on mountains
No rider could withstand
I stand tall my neck stretched high
As I look from atop this hill
Before I run once more
Full speed down narrow roads
Headed toward the desert
Where new hurdles lie ahead
Dry dunes and oasis
Clear skies, burning sun
I look back and see no heard
No steps behind me, none ahead
This world is mine and in this desert
I will build my castle
And draw my roads
No more challenges
But me alone

In the blink of an eye
A whole life can change
I live as though
I earned it somehow
It is mine
I am in control
But just one eyelid
Decides every moment
Just one blink
And life can start
Just one blink
And we miss an eclipse
Of candles burnt out
A heartbeat
A light touched
The sudden excitement
Of friendship reborn
I final breath and goodbye
A smile or a nod
A fall or a jump
The end or the beggining
Just one blink
And a star is born
In the sky
Of my soul
That will shine
Even after
My eyelids
Finally close

Bright reds
Yellows and blues
What a beautiful garden
As I stand at my window
I look
I smell
I smile
What joy
Why not me?
Spring all around
My glacier home
Soft rose petals
Bright tulips rise high
With tangled roots
Painting of life
On every wall
Of my room
Children play
In the distance
Their joy touches the windows
Their smiles too far
To melt this frozen cage
Tears of ice
Too distant from it all

Silent walls
Of my mind
Of this room
Weeping tears
Of my heart
Sitting here
I feel glued
To this room
In my mind
Many memories
Of our future
Voices of my soul
Roses in the mist
I see hope
You are gone
So am I
In this weekend
Of goodbye
You are past
I am future
Monday comes
I start a new

We have traveled far
Seen many cities
Our senses were amazed
Distant places
We have walked
How many mountains did we climb?
How many suns kept us warm?
How many seas did we smell?
On how many sands did we sleep?
How many moons shined our path?
I could go on with my questions
But after all is said
Only to you
Will I always return

I can imagine
A moment
Of a month
Of this year
I can see it clearly
It's coming fast
Now it's gone
Let me catch it
Hold it here
Breath this moment
Just us two
In the darkest of the nights
With diamonds up above
I will smile
You will laugh
We have caught it
Just this moment
For us two

I would love to sing
And tell you what I feel
You want to know much
But it is dark
Much too dark
Even I cannot tell
I guess there was a time
I'm sure I giggled and ran
Foolish kid
Living in today
It is sad
Is it not?
Those moments are long gone
Torn, crushed
Broken, burnt
It doesn't matter
I can't be him
I am m
I am now
I am here
Wish me luck
As I dive
It is this way
I fall
I crumble
It hurts
Let me go
Why face it?
I was fine as I was
Why forget the past
Or not think of tomorrow
Nothing exists
Not me in the end

As I close my eyes
I hear moments long gone
Whispers in the dark
In my heart
In my soul
Gentle tears
Flowing down
Lovely doves
Flying by
Make me smile
Let me weep
Pick me up
In your palm
I will live
As I sleep

Warm sand
Gentle breeze
In your eyes
A deep blue sky
An endless sea
Look at me
Look through me
I dare not
In my shame
Footsteps of guilt
Stairway of redemption
Tears of my own fall
Leaves yellow and red
Shades of brown and green
Summer in your kiss
Winter in my embrace
Look at me
Look through me
Tell me what you see
A heart of stone
My soul a black hole
My spirit I cannot find
Swim in the waters
Of my ageless tears
Remorse of the future
Of a past with no name
May it be this way
Until I return
To the soil
Thar saw my birth

I can see in the shadows
the gaze of loved ones
who once gave me all
And now have departed
Still close yet far
I tried, yes I tried
All promises did I break
Crippled by the shame
So alone, so alone
I was one now two
One to see one to hide
I tried, yes I tried
I'm guilty if you wish
To call me such names
I wish deep inside
It would haunt me no more
The images that I see
Are so clear in the dark
My past and my present
All my dreams fall apart
As it eats me away
From loved ones and all
I tried, yes I tried
I feel hopeless and ashamed
I can't tell you my secrets
Just pray for me now
As my world crumbles
I surrender, I surrender, I surrender to you God

Prayers in the essence
Of my being
Hollow tears
Of a lonely heart
Healed for months
And then broken
Kneel and cry
As worlds clash then burn
Thunderous revenge
Inside and out
Of a past unchanged
Yet chained today still
Love long gone
Falling slowly
Down a cliff
It is sight
but so far
Just for others
To hold on
Not within
These cold wlls
Of this heart
With its cliff
Filled with prayers
And communion
Mercy for
Things gone wrong
Search for hope
To rebuild
With new love
For myself
I forgive
You may not
It is ok
As I move on

I look inside, and what is their
Is so strange, just not real
What is their, what you feel
Bolders and pebbles, on this road
On this land, and deep below
You not I, have surpassed
Dark gray clouds, thundering by
Teardrops falling, from above
Down my spine, chill my soul
Let me touch, for a moment
The bright sun, that you hold
Judge me not, this one time
As my child, laughs out loud
Just behind, its other face
With the anger, of it all
Let me hold, for a moment
The sea of calm, that you feel
It takes on, fear and pain
Silent yet strong, its face and surface
But it melts, with the sun
Washed away, by the sea
Cement of clay, with no sculptor
And no mold, to return
Keep your pose, and the smile
Keep on trying, not to fall
Not to melt, or to break
And in trying, to stay still
But I crack and tear, apart this shell
As the feelings, come on board
Tears of sorrow, chills of fear
Come to surface
And this statue
Is no more

Children running free
Children running wild
Let me light you golden paths
Let me feed, your tender growth
Let me teach you
Right form wrong

The line within
You cannot see
But you will learn deep inside
Light is not dark
Shadows do not walk
In the streets of your heart
You will jump back and forth
And so it is throughout life

Rollercoasters of success
Rollercoaster of defeat
Climb on board for your ride
As you twist and you turn
The line within you cannot see
The paths ahead may seem all too straight
Where they lead you do not know

And so you grow
A pendulum in your heart
A shining path yours to follow
The line within you may not see
I will teach and you will learn
And it will guide
Your every step

My bones are dry
My skin powder
My eyes sunken
Into hollow craters
Each finger still
Both hands crossed
In an endless dream
Where only souls go

And yet I know
Now, as then
My heart will still beat
It may seem still
The blood may seem dry
But now, as then
My love for you remains strong

In dark as in light
Beneath this unmovable soil
My memories of you
I know
Now, as then
I will recall
My feelings for you
I will relive

Even the coldest soul
Even the lonliest heart
Will return from
This endless sleep
To join hands
Once again
In an endless dream

Songs from the heart
Always rhyme and never end
With these words
On my chest
On my arms
In the depths, of my mind
If the music
Plays again
I will see
A new beginning
Come to me
Once again
With the wisdom
Of old times
When the Lord
Spoke to lead
To keep a promise
To touch and change
My soul forever
And as we all
Move along
Our different paths
Walk or run
We will find
In the roads
Of pain and sorrow
Inner strength
To transform
Our own selves
And the world

In your eyes
Deep blue skies
Rise above
Seas of green
Along the prarie
Its gentle waves
Rolling down
With the breeze
That glides in paths
Not walked before
And as I pass
In this moment
A quick hello and goodbye
I can see
In your eyes
Unchartered waters
In a time not yet here
A brand new thought
A dream of hope
Smiles and laughter
Fill these lands
Mend the hearts
Of souls forgotten
That grieve the loss
Of our past
I bid farewell
To these lands
And the prarie
Unchartered waters
Lie ahead
In your eyes
A single tear
A farewell and hello
To a past and a future
As you sail
Away once more

My hands are not yours
Its creases bear a future
Not a past that was brief
Of friendship not of love
My arms hug the mind
Not a body nor its skin
My body caresses
The winds from afar
That bring in its midst
Words from these poems
That sing in the dark
And leave not for long
Just enough to return
My hands are for me
And the one that I love
For they have long changed
And I moved along

Hiding myself
Among the roses
Thorns pierce
The fragrant aroma
Budding growth
In this garden
Nurtured with patience
And respect
Blooming petals
Along the way
Bouquets lining
The two paths
Light and darkness
A part of love
Rise and wither
On same soil
A dozen tears
In each stem
On the card
Farewell wishes
Apologies
From the heart

Tears of spring roll down
Dry creeks filled
With **** grown out of pain
From this departure, premature
In silence held
The sorrow bottled
Freedom distant, not at hand
These gray bars
Projected not real
Imprison the heart with this hurt
Tomorrow will rise
Dark clouds shall move on
The creek will dry out
And healing begin
To continue in life
The pain from this moment, can return some day
And so shall the sun
and so shall my joy
for human is my name

Cold and dry is its surface
Standing tall beyond the lens
Just some names but no soul
Revolving doors see them pass
Looking through is no horizon
Just the shadows in the dark
In a trance as they walk
Past each other with a glance
No tomorrow shall they share
Gathered round in its rooms
Without a touch in despair
Create new meaning to dissolve
To break through and revive
What once was long ago
The creative nature of us all