It is my last day
Welcome back
To the book, of my life
Turn the pages, look inside
Still so much, in deep caves
Its lava flows, like rivers still
Silence grows
My thoughts are home
Break the silence
With these drums
Of my heartbeat
It feels so strong
I'm not worried
Its ok
I shall go now
But I am home

Stories burried in rubble
Ancient castles stand still
Look around me
Look in me
I am them
Old paintings, broken mirrors
Cobwebs above
What is hidden below?
Leave it there
Let it be
Century old walls
Stone and mortar
Keep away new battles
Others within
No light, no power
No fire, just cold
Ghosts of life once lived
Music and dance
Filled every corner
Touched every room
Now a peaceless silence
Echoes of voices long gone
In the depths
Of this restless heart

To be alone
Every day
To see you leave, and return
Just a spectator
In this play
Many bees, come and go
Filled with hives
Filled with words
Still alone
Yet surrounded
By an ocean
Sounds too fast
To be heard
Hello, goodbye
I am busy don't you see
With many tasks
In the hive, of this world
A load too heavy
For my arms
Carry without choice
Caught in a web
Filled with hives, and the bees
A grand purpose
All its own
Heavy loads defeat the hands
Falls and cracks, such empty shells
To expose, raw and blank
Lack of hope, of despair
Staying here all alone
Unemployed

I want to be happy
I want to be angry
I want to be sad
I want to be me
In each moment while I smile
Remember the years
Of dreams fulfilled, and troubled steps
Of a past with needles
Promises in thin air
Hope for a day like today
Forgiveness walked by, as I closed my eyes
And awoke to a new start
New names, new walls, new promises
How did I fall?
In a new past
It is here nonetheless
Six months and goodbye
Anxiously awaiting, nine months in the womb
After climbing new steps
A vision so near, within reach of my embrace
The warmth of its sun
The peace of its breeze
The calm of its still waters
My reflection shining through
White doves all around
As I smile once again
The flood of pain washed away
I am here, not alone
But with myself
I am sad, I am angry
I am afraid, I am happy
I am fulfilled
My vision at hand
Shall you join?
No longer am I counting
I move ahead stronger
My heart one with my soul
My future built of many today's
My past now a distant memory
No longer on my shoulders
No longer in my eyes
For I have changed
I am now me

I am half way there
And in the middle of my indecision
I see the stairway up, I see the stairway down
Not clear when I departed
Or when I will arrive
The start a blur, two ends in sight
Door one below
Take a guess; what will it be
Door two above, maybe it is best
Where to go?
How to choose?
My only guide inside
Not my eyes, or my ears
All else will follow
Connect my soul with each door
I can feel the rainbows
Of peece and pain
Still here in the middle
Not a step has changed
I should sit while I think
Two doors, two rainbows
No telling how, no telling when
My life ended
A canvas half white, half black
I stand, one foot on each side
Hot, cold
Sweet, sour
Love, sorrow
Full, empty
Two halves, one me
Two hearts, two souls
Two thoughts, two stairs
A tug of war, no winner
A tie, I stand still
In the middle of my indecision
What do I feel?
What am I thinking?
Why don't I move?
I should sit while I think
Time travels so fast
How gray I am now
I sit, in the middle; still thinking
Why don't I move?
My canvas still blank and white
But I am gray
Not black nor white
I stretch and shake
My gray spreads and paints
My canvas now shades
Rainbows all around
No longer two stairs
A canvas of paths
Filled with shades
An adventure all its own
Hidden before me, now clear
Motion among colors
Of my heart and soul
My thoughts behind
No longer in my way
As I flow freely
In my own sea

I have been gone
But you never left
My pen is my friend
Caligraphy its path
The shapes come together
Another page, is complete
Stories, from today
From a time, also gone
Erased, by the actions
Ripped, and torn apart
Return they cannot
Change is today
New for a moment
Eternal in this journal
The oxygen of my breath
Collected through my years
Five until right now
Let me read, an old chapter
It seems like today
I feel it, rushing on
In every vein, every limb
I must let it go
Forget about that joy
Excessive, as the pain
Neither close to middle
Where I look, to be again
A sentence, in each chapter
Except, in those to come
Blank, today's page
And all those to follow
Such, is my journal
It leads me to new days

Let us cross paths
For just a few moments
Walking, side by side
Seeing, the same moon
Stars light the road
Where passion, lay down still
Histories beyond description
Not only the surface, do we share
Longing for connection
Separate, we are not
Destinies far apart
Not thought of, at this time
We cherish each second
As tomorrow closes in
Memories will outlast
Even brief days together
Our souls see each other
Our hearts beat, as one
When the time comes, to depart
No sorrow will match
Emotions so deep
Eternal from the start
And if our paths cross
In the future, once more
It will be like long ago
We hear what we feel
We feel as before
Before is not gone
We have come in circles
And it is good to be back