I sit, surrounded by soft nature sounds and sights and smells
Soft streams pour into the pond, I see, I smell
The fish frolic, staying under the surface, snapping at flies
Yet underneath it all is something unnatural
Man made, made for man and nature knows not why
Caught in a cage of water and wood, the creatures will exist, ever ignorant in their plight, in their pond
In a flight of fancy, I free the fish, scooping each with net or fist from their watery prison, in the the pond imprisoned, but in my care they are free fish, no cage or cell, I set them free
They frolic on the floor, flipping, flopping, doing the dance of the free

starry eyed lovers
looking for
blurry eyed lovers
no sleep
wide eyed lovers
so late

coffee and cigarettes
*** and romance and
reading each other poetry
from old books
laughing and talking until 4 am
and not giving a ****

growing old and grey together
knowing all the secrets and flaws
that make you, you
and me, me

holding each other close
while the storm rages
and the raindrops dance on the roof
and the windows light and shake with each thunderclap
and the cold creeps in
but it can’t get to us because
we have each other for warmth

secrets and jokes that nobody else
shares but us
and nothing can keep us apart
because it is you and me
against the world
fighting back to back
to keep things alright
staying sane for each other

Trust me
I know how it feels
To be surrounded by the people who say they love you
But the pain they cause
Is proof enough for me
Love shouldn't leave me feeling empty
Like I have nothing left to give
Or live for
Fear none, fear me
Come one, come all
And see the misfits in all their glory
Misery and company
And spent nights alone
Then glare back at the TV
Something is staring out at me
Like the stars I gazed at
When I was younger
But no more looking back
I grew up without roots
So now I wander free
And spend my days
Wondering about the forests that I see
What it's like to love your friends and family

I am tired
tired in my soul
tired of being

I am sorry
for what I am
and for that I am

The soulful weary feeling
is worse than the weariness
that sleep can cure

I often wonder
if it would be a kindness
to end humanity

Existing in our state
the modern world
we are all tired

We are worried
and bound to the worry
slaves of our anxieties

To be alive
is to be caught up in thinking
and embroiled in problems

The thoughts stop
only in sleep
or death

In a single moment
humanity emerges from
the womb; first breath

like the time before time
all is new and white hot
swirling around

the heat and pressure
Behold, a Genesis
man speaks: his world into existence

galaxies set into motion
each of us a god
with our own cosmos

we set the stars in the sky
we are creation
and Creator

In our old age
we reap the benefits
of all we have made
See now, a universe
and it is good

The bitter taste of loneliness
And a thirst that’s never quenched
Even when I drink up the sun and moon and stars

I am the captain of my ship
I sleep alone amongst the child of a hundred trees
My vessels groans at sea

And the stormy water seeks to drown
But the rain is lovely
And the salt spray will not take me

I seek to find a place where I am safe and sound
But I am adrift for now
Mutinous and cosmic life

The sun and moon and stars stare down
They keep me company
And assure me that I am not alone

I am selfish
I do not wish to share my bed
To share a toothbrush
My morning ritual, coffee and a shower
I do not wish to share my life
I do not wish to fall in love

But I will
And I will share heartbreaking fears
And secret desires
And mine will become ours
And I will become we
And it will get easier to share
Love will make me wish it so

This is not a cry for help
I don’t need your sympathy
This is not a battle cry
This is a not a symphony

I’m not asking you to listen
I don’t want you to care
I am lying through my teeth
Living out my worst nightmare

I don’t try
To wear my heart on my sleeve
I won’t cry
Just please won’t you leave
Won’t you leave me to die
Alone

This is not a song about you
I don’t think about you that way
This is not a hymn in church
This isn’t just another day

I’m not asking you to understand
I don’t want you to know
I am shaking all day long
Thinking about our last hello

I never meant
To get this hurt by you
I never sent
That message we both knew
Never leave me to die
Alone

Because I love you

This is just another crumpled note
This is not a song for you
It will never reach your ears or eyes
Even though it is so true

I love you.

Monday, I wake and think of you
Tuesday, I approach you with caution
Wednesday, we meet for coffee
Thursday, we fall for one another
Friday, we’re in the throes of passion
Saturday, you’re feeling sorrow and regret
Sunday, you forget my name
Monday, I wake and think of you

We’re all just flesh and blood and bone and soul
People don’t belong
In boxes till they’re dead
No labels, no promises and no regrets
Grey areas of utter ambiguity that need no defining or clarifying
Just be and let be
We are flesh and blood and bone and soul
When we fall apart, we put ourselves back together
What can a body do alone?
Never was so good at mourning, so we practised forgetting together
First forget the world
Then forget the way things were
I went to the beach at night and the sand was cold and the air was all salt and seaweed
I walked along the shore, barefoot beneath the stars
Thinking about how things change
The cool, rising tide lapping at my feet
Subtle shifts, breaths and glances
Moments and words exchanged
And then nothing is the same
We are just flesh and blood and bone and soul
It’s all we can ever be
All the rest is make believe, the rules that we are taught to follow
Can you remember the Truth we talked about?
I wish I had words to say that could help to ease the pain
But I can’t save anybody and I can’t fix you
And the only thing worth noting is that souls may live on like memories
That flesh and blood and bone may be gone but nobody has to forget

Nostalgia tastes bitter in the back of my throat
The memories mingle on the tip of my tongue
Let the old poisons seep out of my pores
The endless catharsis of reminiscing

I choke up a little remembering when
The tears well up in the corners of my eyes
I am cold and hot and a bundle of nerves
I can feel the forgotten feelings

It crawls under my skin and wriggles
I can sense the floodgates opening
The night awakens antique ghosts
I dream a dream of ancient history

Goodbye to the blackest moonlit sky
Goodbye to the pen and white paper
Goodbye to nostalgia bitter and grey
Goodbye to insomnia as sleep takes me

I looked up at the moon
She had wasted away
She was crying, her tears splattering with a rhythmic pitter patter on my roof

As I lay in my bed, watching her cry,
She wrapped herself in clouds
Perhaps a veil of mourning

A few nights later, the sky was empty, black but for little bits of light poking through from far away

But the next night, I looked up
She was there, barely there,
But she was gaining strength
Becoming her old self again
Each night she grew stronger and fuller until she was the only thing in the sky, filling the horizon
She shined brightly
I could see her
And I could hear her humming, her song whistling through the branches of trees, tapping a beat on my window pane, singing me to sleep

Oh the moon, she comes and goes
But every night I see her
Sometimes she grows brighter
Sometimes she shrinks into herself
But every night she is beautiful
And everyday I wait for night to come so I may see her

A man walks into a bar
He sits down at a table and sobs violently
He takes out his hunting knife and begins to carve words into the wood
This is what he writes:

There is no point in a suicide note
I am the last survivor
I have wandered in desolation for five years and found nothing but destruction and the ravenous creatures
Empty shells, a hungry remnant of humanity
I suppose if there is life out there, one day this may be found and it will be an explanation and a monument of sorts
These crude etchings, an echo of ancient times
It is not for me, but for all of us
We killed ourselves, this so called human race
Now with the last of my life, I write
How foolishly, I waste myself on chronicling my journey to my journey’s end, how human it is
Because I exist, I am “in myself and for myself" but my philosophies will die soon
I am the last heat in a dying coal, the exhalation of a dying man, and so as I cease to exist, humanity goes extinct.

He finished writing, and felt his leg
The open wound left blood on his hand
He checked,
one left,
cold metal on his temple
He grimaced,
and with a big bang,
the world ends

That because I am open
And honest
And hate secrets
That there are no parts of me
That I keep reserved

They are almost right
But there are some hidden things
That I have kept inside myself
Because they frighten me


I may be an open book
But certain pages stick

Perhaps I will share my whole self
Perhaps even those parts
One day

Feels like you have a grip on my heart
And I have somehow pulled free
But the shadows of your fingerprints remain
And I move on and try to move forward
Please retire your bedsheets and leave me alone
I did not sign up to be haunted
You turned out to be not what I thought
And everything I never wanted

I woke up this morning
And your were on my mind
So I wrote this poem
And it’s all about you,
Every word
Every line
You’re a natural disaster
But sometimes I still wish you were mine

If I can’t forget you
I’ll sweep you under the rug
With the rest of my mistakes and regrets
But I don’t want to remember
The way that I felt
The way that you still make me feel
Because how can it get better
If nothing is changing?
I’ve tried everything
I don’t know what else to do
So I cut all our ties
Set our bridges on fire
Walked away without looking back
And sighed with relief
Because I went a day without thinking of you

If I had my way, I’d pack my bags and never look back twice
Life can’t be constantly running
The friction wearing down my soul
I must find solace
I must find escape
I must find peace
I must find my way

I am so tired if the turmoil within
The constant struggle
The raging storm
The never ending tug of war
Does the journey end or isn’t a journey?
I would have my rest
But perhaps there is none
No stopping
No slowing
Keep running
Keep going


I will carry on
Continue with the life I live
Perpetually in motion
Hoping for a moment’s reprieve from the chaos within and without
It may have to be enough
That I am not alone
That there are others like me
Knowing the same trials I have known

Let me tell you something
She is beautiful and smart and talented and creative
And I have had fun every time I've been with her
But I could go the rest of my life without
Seeing her
Hearing from her
Thinking of her
And I can't say the same for you
It has been months
And I should be completely over you
But I'm not
I don't really want to be

Don't you know I care too much
To ever let you go?
I can't tell you that I love you
No matter how lovely you are
I couldn't bare to lose you
And I'm getting kind of scared
That you'll hate me
And leave me bleeding out
On my kitchen floor

I had a dream
I was on a Ferris wheel
It never stopped
Turn after turn
And you were in the car in front of me
And you were just out of reach
Turn after turn
When I was at the top
You were going down
When I was at the bottom
You were going up
Turn after turn

they say "love your neighbor as you love yourself"
but what if I don't love myself?
so should I stop loving everybody else, too?

I’ve always been running
Mostly running away
Fleeing from something
Never felt like there was anything
Worth running toward
Nothing to pursue
Until now
Until you

Have you ever had something heavy on your chest,
Or run out of air in your lungs before you reached the surface?
Have you ever seen a storm rage from inside the eye?
Have you ever felt like you were running as fast as you could but not going anywhere?
Do you feel like destroying yourself, and do you want to start over?
Do you wake up in the mornings and find yourself utterly dissatisfied with being awake?
Have you ever wanted to just run away from your problems,
Or have you wanted to ignore them till they go away?
Have you ever been told that it gets better and not believed it?
Have you ever wanted to-

There is no practice
We’re always playing for keeps
And yet knowing that fact
Has never helped me sleep

just because it would be a disaster
doesn't mean we shouldn't try
and see what happens

so what if we do crash and burn?

it will be lovely to go down
in flames with you

Do you ever like to play at danger in the comfort of your own home?

Make the fear feel real, make sure to try this at home.