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grey Jul 2019
effervescent in winter
yet drawled in summer
i despise the way you crawl over my mind
scratching each surface
this position could have landed to anyone
anyone but you
well it's half two and im crying, we really out here living the tortured artist lifestyle
grey Jul 2019
i will whisper you stories of the sea
i will comb through your hair and with each stroke tell you
just how much you mean to me
i will wipe away each and every tear and blue
i will kiss you goodnight and check on you every single day
just to check your feeling alright

i will never belittle or embarrass or degrade you
i will never flaunt you
instead i will encourage and respect you
i will love you so much and you won't even know it
and that will be okay
grey Jul 2019
it's easy i suppose
to ignore the neon pills
to look past the crumpled notes
to forget the stained face
but it wasn't easy i suppose
to ignore the teachers qualms
to look past the overnight stay
to forget the growing grudge

my life still hangs by a thread
but its easy i suppose
suicide wasn't something i attempted in order to hurt you, it was an escape. However, it hurt me that you saw all the warning signs, confronted me and STILL denied me help. STILL pretended it didn't happen. It took school intervention in order for you to even consider this was real, and even then you did it so you didn't appear as a bad parent. but go off i guess
grey Jul 2019
i find it hard to love
the girl in the mirror
grotesque in every form
not from my iris
but from yours
your own child
agape spun of lies
raised out of spite
strangers by blood
words said with a smile
leaving a bitter taste
i've hated my body for as long as i can remember, and it would be so easy for me to blame it on the media, when the reality is this stems from my mother. A woman who always has something to say about how i look. Every subconscious flaw comes from her, whether it be my teeth or my weight. i don't think she realizes how much i resent her
grey Jun 2019
where was i?
i was fifteen and too old to be naive
too young to lose hope
too young to vote
too young to do anything except beg my parents for change
plead to the masses
go on a strike
it fell upon deaf ears and we left

where was i?
i was fourteen and british
and i still remember the sick feeling
the taste i couldn't wash away
the candle starts to dimmer
i still see my history teachers sullen face
as he taught us about a culture we're doomed to repeat
the world stood still and he got into power

where am i?
im seventeen and watching it happen again
another fool into power
my future being washed away
the candle has blown out
the culture from the west infecting us again
i hold my breath and watch silently

where am i?
im seventeen and forgetting
forgetting the humming fuzzes
struggling to breathe
i watch it cut down and set alight
another species lost again
my voice suffocated by silence
grey Jun 2019
in the morning i will walk away
pack away the wire and felt
chuckle awkwardly about silly things
pretend to have forgotten

but right now i am in your arms
my head is swirling
a kaleidoscope is forming around me
you keep me steady and focus my vision
i am overwhelmed and intoxicated
by you alone

and in the morning I'll forget
grey Jun 2019
you cradle me
causing me to ****
and twist in front of you
you melt away in order for me to flourish
its all for you
i do this all for you
all things aside you're burning me
this was written about my old best friend who used to manipulate me and say she was the best person for me, and when we stopped being friends she told me no one would ever love me again. Taking a step back i can now see how unnecessary and hurtful that friendship was. On a lighter side this is my first poem not about Her which is itself a blessing
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