I'm tellin you it's been a long time comin
this lost time I'm now strugglin.
Encased behind surrounding barred walls,
loud voices hollerin down halls.
Prayers are my nightly calls.
When I try to find sleep, but stall,
because all my mistakes produce,
a glimpse of a wasted youth,
that I had been when I had used.
Everyday is time I now lose.
To be with those I have wronged,
doing time with me all along.
Glancin at the clock,where has all our time gone?
Gone to the crowded street corners unlit,
a thousand ciggerattes against my lip.
Disgusting habits that I never quit.
Liquor poured inside, a million sips.
Gone in the pockets of a dealing man,
Addiction back by popular demand.
In the pipe held by a shaking hand,
commanding me time and time again.
Inside the bullet wound on skin,
beginning with need, ending in sin.
Sleepless nights for the next of kin.
Lost time piled like dirt on feet,
right along with the fights I couldn't beat.
Lord give me an answer that's sweet.
Why I'm on this unending street?
The angel's watched while the devil's played.
I'm suffering for old debts unpaid.
Betrayed by my long gone friends,
never strong enough i the end.
Confiding against black gravestones,
one response I love you's all alone.
Lord, take this pain that I now own,
what's the lesson that you have shown?
To struggle with this heavy regret,
hidin scars that won't let me forget.
All I want back is time I've spent.
So forgiveness comes by his own will,
guess that's why I'm breathin still...
Letting my denial in for the ****.
Lord, I know I've followed wrong roads,
my time is up,I'll give what i owe.
I'll pay back for all i stole.
Got a young surface, but inside I'm old.
No warmth for my soul that's cold.
But Lord please spare my heart
I need this so memories don't fall apart.
Of Tia's victory prayers, so proud
and how Grandpa's voice is strong and proud.
My sisters heartbeat, a perfect sound.
How I can't let my brother's down.
To keep the image of my father's face,
and the security that is my mother's embrace.
Lord, so I don't forget sweat,blood and tears shed,
by my families life, a heritage bled.
My first love at a young age dead.
all the childhood prayers read.
My sweet Lord, did you hear what I said?
I won't give up on this last chance,
my worship hands a battle stance.
So I'll take a glance at my gone past,
but I promise this stare won't last.
Now broken wings are out of the cast
Lord, I know in your mercy I'll find
a way to get back all my lost time....
copyright august 2003 By Heather Ruiz (HStories)