the girl in the bath tub stares back at me
she’s got eyes like forests
but no blue jays in sight
she looks the right
when I look to the left
she stares me down with eyes unwavering
she knows what I deny
denies what I believe
who does she think she is?

I don’t know who I’m not.
is this girl all I’ve got?

Hold me.
Squeeze me.
Hard.
Break me.
Shatter me
into p i e c e s.
Lay me out on the cold wood floor.
Put me back together.
And tell me how you did it.

There was a planet within us
and a bridge between our minds,
two walls between our hearts. 
The echoes of our sighs 
bounced off of raindrops 
and soaked into oceans.
That cold morning my heart expanded, 
it tried to fit all of you inside
but your voice alone
filled it to the brim and
now these quiet nights
leave that pocket on my left hand side
aching for your love.
I've never been good at arithmetic
but you were more than fraction.
Infatuation is a slippery *****
and I've never been someone with traction.

I wish I could take hold of these words
and these letters
and mash them together
tie them together
use steel veins to chain them together
and create something so grotesquely beautiful,
something so dissonant and so lovely,
that the world would be shocked
into uncontrollable fits of laughter
and bouts of tears spurred by sudden shared sorrow and
love would roll over every hill and
seep into every brook
every vein in which infatuation was present
would glow
and we wouldn’t have the wear hearts on sleeves
or buy roses that cost extra with bows
or even use our vocal chords at all
because we would see it.
we would see it.
we would see the love,
see the moonstruck fools who make these worlds go ‘round.
and every single one of us
would light the night with affection.
carpe noctum, carpe amāre  
and it is during the nights where the inky vast dark floods my ear drums
that I want to dust off the shelves of my mind
and I want to find you there
want to find me there
I want to find everyone
and I want to grab them
and shake them
and wake them up
I want to them tell them where they were
I want to scream from the rooftops,
“HERE YOU ARE!! YOU ARE NOT LOST!!”
I want to give everyone the key to the room in my head
where they stay most nights
I want them to feel like they have a home
even if they already have a home
they can have a second home here
but I want everyone to have somewhere
they feel they belong
a place where they always know what the living room smells like
where the furniture welcomes them
where the stains have stories
that are full of hilarity and embarrassment that pales roses
I want everyone to know
that we are all home
if home is where the heart is
them home is where you are
your belongings are what you can carry
what you carry at all times
the words in your head
the flavors on your tongue
the patches of healed skin on your arms and legs and shoulders and elbows
the things you have seen
they are what you own
what no one can take from you
no matter where you live
where you reside
where you spend your days or nights
you are your home

so I think its time to come out and say it because I’ve been hiding behind other words all this time and I’ve been allowing my subconscious to do the speaking but the aching of my body with you so far away has sanctioned to me to gauge just how hard I’ve fallen for you. luckily there was you to break the fall and in your arms I know I’m safe and I have finally realized that this is what I have always been without I have always fallen alone. I have always ended up face to concrete but with only a nosebleed to show what occurred. I never imagined that to stumble doesn’t mean to injure and that to love doesn’t mean to empty the contents of my eleven ounce lifeline. a quiet passion sits at the soles of my feet, waiting for my pulse to speed waiting for my pulse to dole it out, limb by limb and vein by vein until I am flushed in the face and salty in the eyes. any thing in the world you could say and I listen as if I am being explained how to cure cancer or establish world peace. every second in the same with room is like a cycle of the sun and every minute spent in you arms the rest of the universe does not exist and the only language is hysteria and heart beats. and I have always been under the impression that love is something that you are and there are signs to coming to the conclusion that you’re in it but all at once I realized that I have always felt a pull towards you and that is must be love hauling me your way.

its time to look away from you
as eye clenching
gut wrenching
and entrenching on my bottom lip as that may be
and look at me
from a new angle
from a you angle
from a due angle
because when my arms wrap around you
and your arms wrap around me
and our arms are wrapped around each other
I want to make the world stop
but I don't need to
it already does
and I never ever want it to end
and I feel selfish
and I feel hungry
and I feel thirsty all at once
all at once I am
not me
but someone who loves you
seized by the affection that has paralyzed by body
I am a patient
with no patience
and I am poet
without words

Love is like putting on a new pair of glasses.
But not realizing you're wearing them.
Until it registers that you are looking at small things in big ways.