One morning, Howard was deciding what he was going to cook for today's lunch. Howard was not the worlds best cook, he mainly enjoyed buying ready meals to eat, Fishermans Pie was his dearest. But today was to be different; a change; he would make something from scratch. He decided that Carbonara met his fancy, so he got up from his wearing sofa, and made his way to the half filled book cabinet. 'How to make Pasta', the book read. It was a result for Howard. He clinched his hands on the closed book, and bought it into the front room.Howard opened the book to the contents and turned to page 21, 'Carbonara Chicken Special'. Howard firstly read the ingrediants needed, then popped to the local convinience store to fetch the things he needed. When he eventually started the meal, he was on task and ready to go. So he prepared the sauce, and the pasta, and the chicken. Then put it in the oven, a fourty-five minute wait.Howard was knackered by this time and thought he'd have a quick lye down..."BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"!!!!!!!!!!!!!   This incredibly loud noise was coming from the smoke alarm, startaling Howard! He rushed to the kitchen to discover masses of smoke dominating the room. Howard glanced up at the the clock to discover that he had been sleeping for over an hour. The pasta was ruined and had to be thrown away.Howard was starving though. So he went over to the freezer, grabbed a microwave fishermans pie, and heated it up. As he sat down to eat the meal, he thought to himself; ' Well I gave it a go, one step closer eh'. Then digged into his seafood.

Hello i'm Howard,
and I like fish,
I love the prawns and the tuna,
that lay on my dish,

but I'm not to fond,
of them  sardines though,
they taste like crap,
my brother's named Moe

I love my food,
and so do you,
you eat it all up,
then it comes out in poo

Hi, I'm back,
it's Howard the horse shoe,
I really like photo frames,
but not as much as fish,

fishermans pie,
in my big belly,
it's so so good,
until I do a smelly,

I love my fish,
from the bottom of my heart,
they taste like mushy peas,
see ya I need to ****

Hi there fish fans,
how are you doing today,
have you eaten any seafood yet,
if you haven't then your gay,

only kidding I ain't being rude,
it's just that your being awkward,
I mean the co-opretive ain't that bad,
the octopus sandwiches are good,

but anyway my fellow chicken nuggets,
I'm off for a wet dump,
I hope it don't splash back up at me,
if it does then I'll watch Katie and the lump

I know your game
You better be ready
because me and Glynny Boy
are gonna get yaa!

Drew, watch out
I know what your up to
and you Bathsheba
and you Swanson

Lol jokesy I'm not a mind reader...

I like Salmon and BACON sanni's
Lots of love
Howard
XxxxxX

He's a Jew.
**** the *******.
Only joking.
Don't **** him.
Just tickle the ***.

Thanks.

The quiet town of Sheridon,
Held a very curious myth,
A Crazy Bus that steals children,
Then empty's them off a cliff,

Younger children could see the bus,
But adults hadn't a clue,
The youngens told of what they saw,
But the oldens thought not true,

Many offspring dissapeared, 
For reasons unexplained, 
Thorough investigations to find the truth,
But the myth was quickly disclaimed,

Many family's fleeing the town,
In fear of hurt to their young, 
Detectives believed it must be a killer,
While the myth continued unsung,

The children continued to tell of their seeing,
So watchmen were sent to the cliff,
But still nothing came apparent to them,
So the theory returned to a myth

I love you babes, no hard feeling about the last poem.
Just a laugh, anyway how's your mum and gordan? Are they eating sausage sandwiches at the moment?
Love From Howard **
Lol jokesy names Howard ***

Hello for the last time cod crazy crew,
how you doing on this fine day,
I've just eaten some great food,
it was a vegetable soup Sunday, eh?

I was in my kitchen yesterday,
looking for some grubby grubbins,
I looked at some fish and thought,
well no I don't that jubbins,

my tummy told me it don't want no fish,
that it's not so good no more,
so I've given up my love of fish,
because it makes my *** feel sore,

so now I eat just fruit and veg,
I like going to the cinema,
I don't even need a poo,
so I'm off forever guys so enjoy your life,
my grandma lives in Quatar. Buy X

Hi, it's Howard again,
and I ****** love my fish,
I had it for tea last night,
it were cod and hadock ruddy dish,

but nah I ain't giving it grief,
I could eat the grub all day,
But if I can't eat, I'll go down the pub,
until I give my back a good rub,

gotta go now coz I need a poo,
so I hope to see you next time,
so enjoy your cereal you eat tonight,
and I'll call you when I have some lemon and lime