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Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
I miss the us we never were
The us I pictured would be but never was
I don't know how you feel about me
Please...answer
I've opened all these doors for you to walk through
You ran inside and found who I am
I try to walk through yours
But the door is locked
Tried simple knocks
I guess you never hear me
Or maybe you're not there
Maybe you've been a ghost this whole time
It would make sense, I've been feeling cold
Yet I've had you by my side
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
Remember when life was as simple as running in a field and feeling happy
Money didn't matter
Greed didn't exist
It was free to fly
It was free to feel
It was free to smile
Everyone was one
Now everyone is gone
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
I have doubt but confidence in all things
There's never a yes or a no
There's no strict manner of how I go about it all
I don't care what's happening it's everyone else's call
There's a million questions I answer
And a million answer's I question
The right thing is never said
The wisdom is held in my head
I capture moments of truth
That's how I find who I am
Through the experience without confinement
Be free and willing
Have an openness to the mind that's unimaginable
Be Distant also accountable
I can't go on in life with worries and doubts
The options weigh itself out
There's a good  to every bad
There's a happy to every sad
There's never a right answer for anything in life
That's how I know what I'm doing is right
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
I saw you breath
I didn't feel safe
I heard your heartbeat
I felt no security
I watched you sleep
I felt detachment
I wondered why I suddenly felt different
I kept thinking it was you who was changing
But it was me refraining
I was scared to go deeper
You were my hearts keeper
I started trusting in someone else
other than me and myself
And on this night I pushed you away
I don't regret it though
I was content with this being the last lay
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
light
fresh
bright
Something you don't get everyday
Something new is a start to an unseen finish
Something new is a warm Sunday
Something new heals an illness
Something new is a sun with all its rays
It is a gift
Your placement shifts
Everything's changed within the wave of newness
And for that feeling being given, I'm grateful
To whoever and whatever it is that brings it
Thank you
I saw you today
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
The opposite is always true
Whoever you think that person is
It's you
Whatever your vision is
You're the sight
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
Friends, parties, and substances
So exciting
When you hear this
So exhausting
When you see this
So disheartening
When you feel this

A staircase away from sleep
So you think
A staircase away from counting sheep
Then you blink

Hands groped on a body of insecurities
When she already felt useless
The staircase didn't show this as a possibility
Now she's confused and feels worthless
He touches and cant refrain
She feels fear
In his eyes there's no shame
And after a million "no's" he's still here
A day after even a year
People know and nothing's changed
That's why girls keep quiet
We feel it's a way to be estranged
In reality it's always going to be the same
Because the man feels no pain

"Hey so what's that drinking game"
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
Before I fall asleep I listen to your heartbeat
I feel so safe and secure
You're an angel with a heart so pure
The warmth from your body keeps my eyes closed
I know you're there
A feeling like this I would loath
But I've never slept next to one that cares
My mind makes up stories of you and I
As if I'm dreaming but I'm awake
A clear vision of no mistakes
That's what this is with you
Our love is a Utopian
No heartbreak
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
I feel its difficult to find someone
I'm different
I see light and wonder where it comes from
I never have thoughts of everyone else
I only think and see for myself
I want to be happy and my bright mind filled
The contagious joy within me to be spilled
My body to feel rushed with excitement
Yet no one has given me the enlightenment
I haven't found the one who triggers my mind
The one where I feel combined
The one who shows me love in a unique way
The one who sees the in between
grey.
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
The place we go is grim
You don't try to sweep me off my feet
Grab of the wrist
Pulls me under his feculent sheets
No gentle touch, no caress on the chin
One careless kiss
I feel out of my will
Almost dragged
Now I'm his label
Tagged.
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
19 years old
Blinded by selfishness and youth
Walked ready and bold
My heart was a chipped tooth
From the moment I met you
To the moment I lost you
Everything was blurred
It was the day we left each-others live's
My memory loss was cured
I suddenly started to remember the things you did
Instead of things you didn't
Most were cherished and sweet
Some were forgetful and discreet
You will always be remembered as the boy in the band
One to always hold my hand
One to never let me go
The one to takes things slow
I don't regret the time I had with you
You've taught me so much
Within the months
You taught me love in a divergent way
You showed me love is okay
And for that I'm thankful
I hope your life is nothing but growth
Hope Hutchins Apr 2020
Mentality is something everyone has
But everyone is not the same
There's always someone to blame
A certain truth to claim
Always a yes or a no
A black and white
Not many people see the silver lining
As my chair is reclining
I think about my side
Is my side right or wrong
Am I weak but strong
My mind sees two sides
both are wrong but both are right
Contradicting thoughts flow through my brain
I'm grey
sadly surrounded by black and white

— The End —