Well ****,  I put my heart on my sleeve again, Dumb!
I put my heart on my sleeve again;
I shouldn't have done that, I know what's to come.
Here's another heart ache on its way.
Here's another heart ache come out to play.
**** it what's wrong with my brain?
Why is that ******* thing so hard to train?
I know better, constant giving makes me insane!
I don't know what to do next.
My mind is so very vexed.
But for now I think I will just trust.
Because my heart says I must.
N if you smash it as I'm sure you will,
At least my notebook with poems I'll fill.
Words of beauty, love, and hurt.
Of this I can assert.
Because out of the worst pain I feel,
come words that are soul wrenchingly real!
Ones that reach down to your soul!
Ones that make a life changing toll!
So Imma sit back n see what I do now!
And acknowledge whats real n take my bow
...........

My children are always on my mind
The God
The evil
The aluminati
The government
My relationship status
Dinner
Laundry
Clean the house
Loneliness
Go to work
grocery shopping
Feed Chika and Spike
I wish my best friend loved himself
Why won't my girls stop fighting
I wish Mickayla respected me as I taught her to respect others
I wish Nathan was closer
I wish Nevaeh could be greatful
I wish I could know true love
why can I think of nothing
why do I feel empty
I love my friends
I miss my friends
I want to go to Zims
I want to have a good time
I need a vacation
Why do I have to fight with my kids for help
Why won't Brian help himself be happy
I can't I help myself be happy
I'm always up and down
I'm pretty today
I wonder if I work the bar this weekend
What is so wrong with me I'm undateable
I have so much **** to do where do I start
**** I've a dysfunctional crazy family
I wish someone would take me by the throat throw me down pin me to the bed and **** me like they can't help but want me so bad
I miss some of my old friends
I love long hot baths
I wish it where summer all the time
I wish I saw my parents more
There's never enough time
Why am I so alone
Why am I so uncontented
I want to cut but I wont
What is my porpoise
I hope I don't **** my kids up too bad
I want to die but cant
God, I know you can hear me; please help me
I wish I was good enough
I wish I was loved as much as I love
Frogs are cool
I'm Batman
I'm Edgar Allan Poe
I'm Tim Burton
I'm Melanie Martinez
I'm so **** shy
Why can't I let any one in
Why am I broken
I hope my kids make it further in life than I do
I wish I had all the answers
I wish someone could tell me what I need to do and help to do it
I wish I where on a kayak right now
I don't want to be single anymore
I'm over whelmed
I'm under-stimulated
I'm empty
I'm a slob
I have too many shoes
I'm a very fortunate and lucky person
I have more than most
Will anything ever be enough to make me content
I just want to be left alone
I want someone to cuddle
I'm such a **** contradiction
I wish my brother...  Many things  starting with that he wasn't such a fool and that he wouldn't have alienated the family
I wish I had some candy
I think I'm tired
I hope my girls had fun at the game
I'm going to bed now
Maybe I'll have more to tell tomorrow
I doubt it though
I never finish anything

I haven't talked to my brother in over a year
He won't answer the phone or even come near
My thirteen-year-old has the cops at the door
And my 9 year old is playing PlayStation on the floor
I had just woke up and relaxing in an Epson salt bubble soak
The youngest crashes in so fast the door almost broke
"The cops were just here Mom they wanted my sister"
I'm thinking "oh boy her *** is going to blister"
What, when, where, who, and why
I get dressed so fast, jump in the car and fly
My child has stayed last night at my mom's you see
so that was **** well where I needed to be
I get there and find out what's going on
It's breaking and entering and that sort of con
All talked through now and punishments dealt
I love her immensely so I told her how I felt
My mom kept the girls so I coud clean up my floor
Then someone comes knocking at my door
The first was okay but Along Comes an unwanted
And I wasn't nice as my displeasure was flaunted
I got him to leave and along comes another of whom I'm not sure
As a large conflict was just resolved between I and her
So I'm relaxing now and guess what's next
My phone dings with an unexpected text
It's my brother to tell me what **** I am
And expect me to welcome him Open Arms back to the fam
Already riled with today's fine events
I lash back with words maybe a bit too intense
Overwhelmed with how the day has played through
Upstairs to my room to calm is what I had to do
Now that it's done and in past tense
And I've gotten out all of my vents
I say to my oldest girl," you ****** up but I still love you"
I say to my brother," you ****** up but I still love you too"
And to all of my friends I left wondering where I had gone
"I'm on my way back down so put on a good song"
WHAT A DAY!!