holyoak

holyoak Jun 2015

its difficult
the crash
the seemingly endless skid
skin tearing
blood smearing the pavement
the shrieking of tires
burnt rubber
we stand up
weary
shaking
only to strap into the seat again
its difficult
the low
the drop after the high
the empty nauseous feeling
needing one more hit
one more drag
and ive been knocked down
and dragged out
so many
many times
and i keep begging
begging to get back
in the ring
put my gloves on
come out swinging
and i swear
if you crash this car again
because youre high
off of some fight we had
ill leave this belt unbuckled
i wont be walking away
from this wreck again

[holyoak]

holyoak Apr 2015

i thought laughter was medicine, not a ****** weapon

A CRUISE SHIP
STRANDED IN CITY STREETS
A FIRETRUCK
ON FIRE IN THE RAIN
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
MY LOVE FOR YOU YET
THIS IS DRAMATIC IRONY
YOURE KILLING TIME
IN THE BEST WAYS
AND SOON ENOUGH
IM BLEEDING OUT
TO YOUR VOICE
BOUNCING OFF THESE WALLS
YOU ALWAYS PUT THE LAUGHTER
IN MANSLAUGHTER

[holyoak]

holyoak Apr 2015

i should start carrying an umbrella

an armageddon
in a sundress
a walking tsunami
bent on whisking you up
and slamming you down
drowning you
with every word
that you wanted to hear
shes a monsoon
in the middle of july
a dust storm
clouding a freeway
if my veins are rivers
then she flooded them all
my home was taken
in the tornado that she was
ripped from its foundation
and later found wasted
she decimated my mind
with the hurricane she resembled
and to tell the truth
i guess ive always been a stormchaser
ive always sought out
the most dangerous situations
and she was no different
she left me in the street
with no one around
but she cant be blamed
i asked for it

[holyoak]

holyoak Apr 2015

letters & love notes

sycophantic poetry
im only here to please you
im only here to ease
this starvation of attention
my words are only
hollow messengers
that mean only
that im devoted
but when
im gone
who will turn you
into the poetry
that you dont understand

[holyoak]

holyoak Mar 2015

Set Me On the Shelf, I'll Be Safer There

and then
you come to realize
that your porcelain bones
can't take much more
you're falling apart
in her hands
and she doesn't
want to save you
she'll drop you
to the floor
at the first sign
of those spiderweb cracks
fractured perfection
mental misteps
up the stairs
as she loses balance
while she carrys you
porcelain bones
and parchment skin
how much more poetry
can your body take

[holyoak]

holyoak Dec 2014

&

since you've been gone
i've written a few poems
& not a single one
actually says what i want
because i want to say
i miss you
& i want to say
i need you
& i want to say
come back to me
& you left the door wide open
i thought it was a sign
i thought it was some poetic way
of saying you'd walk back in
but now i realize
you just didn't care enough to shut it
& now i feel a draft
a small cold wind
whispering
"get up & change some things
she left you for a reason"
& now i come to find
that there were never enough ampersands
to keep you & i together

[holyoak]

holyoak Dec 2014

Let's Go Home, Wherever That Is

are you afraid of parking garages
do you think of empty parking spaces
with empty cars beside them
like your own compartmentalized mind
do the empty spaces scare you
like my own scare me
are you afraid of the dust
are you afraid of the ghosts
sitting where people once were
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of the lonely silence
are you afraid of the concrete walls
that are more solid than anything
that you have ever created
are you afraid
that you'll be just as cold
just as lifeless
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of where they take you
are you afraid of the airports
that you always end up in
missing those that never come back
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid that you'll park
and that you'll never leave
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of the flickering lights
and your own shadow
bouncing in front you
are you afraid of going somewhere
and never coming home
are you afraid of your home
and when they asked you where home is
did you stutter
because you almost said someone's name
instead of a place
or is your home that parking garage
blank and grey
empty and hollow
are you afraid of parking garages

[holyoak]