I'd give up on myself before i gave up on you.

At the age of five
she had big blue eyes
and never left her mother side
and loved to see her daddy and mother smile.
At the age of seven
her long blonde hair was all the way down to her hips
she saw her sister with the curly blonde hair at her shoulders
and told her mom she wanted it cut.
Her mom cried when she cut it to her ears.
At the age of ten she entered third grade
with short hair
and a loving smile.
The boy she liked then told her to check yes
or no on a note if she wanted to date him.
She checked yes and spent the whole day smiling.
She was thirteen her hair now past her shoulders
and her eyes covered in makeup
but it still didn't work to keep the boy
that she checked yes for.
At age 15
her hair is now long and her eyes are now dull.
she spends most of her time in her room
staring at herself in the mirror
and picking out every flaw
then covering up what she can
with makeup
she barely goes to school
she hasn't seen her mom and dad smile at each other anymore
and now her mom has way more things to cry about
than cut hair
she has given up on boys
even the one who wrote her poems instead of boxes to check.
Age 16
and she has wrote her last poem
for the boy who never did her any harm
then decided she had one more note to write
but left it unfinished.
Because she couldn't hold on any longer.

Art
they said was in the rose color of her perfect mouth.
In the gold shine in every strand of her hair.
Especially in the aqua watery depth
or her cool blue eyes
begging you in for a swim
tempting.
In the way the color of her skin was a daisy petal white.
In the way her laughter danced to the sound of rain
booming like thunder.
And her touch
oh god her touch
it was like a thousand lightening streaks brushed against your arm
only for her to laugh and have it sound sweeter than the music
my piano hands can make.
And the way she says your name
like she's savoring it,
tasting ever bit of it as it rolls of her tongue.
But you will never forget
they way she looks
curled upon her dark green reading chair
stormy eyes devouring the words
golden streaks falling in her face
lips softly forming the words
savoring the words
soaking up every thing she can
from the book in her hands.
This girl will steal your heart,
before you're even done looking at her.

bruised and broken
lying on peach colored sheets
the sunlight shining in illuminating her face
she felt at peace
and she felt as if the whole world was crashing
down
on her

she wondered how these feelings
could both manifest inside her at the same time
and she thought that if she felt like this forever
it would be painful
like an unrequited love
or an undeserving heartbreak

she didn't figure anything out
about herself
her feelings
or her life
so she's stuck in a limbo
between okay
and insane

masterful, we may not yet be
but I press my
fingertips, warm-smooth
to your skin, the curves and
the planes
anyways, because
i like the way you are.  i'm fond
of your stained-glass eyes, and
your blood-soaked cheeks.
i try this new thing, anyways
because i like it even
though i cannot quite get this
new thing, this foreign
dance routine
correct.

jigsaw souls interlock like
the way they meant,
each inhale and exhale
breathing evening in,
and each drumbeat of my pulse
sending my blood flying
faster under my skin.
lightning rod love, you're
a thunderclap
away
from a hurricane,
please tell me you
can feel
the ringing in my ears
the shaking of our earths; because
i can feel the electricity
in my nerve endings
sing, high and thin.

heat and wonder on your
breath, i just felt it
on my cheek;
when my limbs go weak i turn
my head and tell you
"i love you", another turn
of events, another
manifestation
and declaration
of the stirrings and rumblings
inside my chest.

on nights i cannot sleep
i blame it all on you
i let myself think back
to the very first day we met
and starting there, i fold
each day like the layers of an
accordian until i convince myself
that every note of yours
has affected every one of
mine,
and though yours will always be sweet
mine are now and forever off-key.