Sometimes it's hard
to find comfort in physicality
when the idea of physicality
has been abused since you were young

you're wrapped in the arms
of the person you love
but you feel like you still
don't exist in the same world as everyone else

it's okay, just act normal
you tell yourself
so he doesn't think you have
too many problems.

when you've been silent
for so many years
you forget that you're allowed
to speak up for yourself.

When you find your voice
you'll release a hold over your body

The hold that won't allow you
to fall into the arms of your significant other
with full abandon of fear
But until that day occurs

Keep trying...
Be honest...
and most importantly
live and love as openly as you can.

There's a sensation
That surrounds my body
Like a mist
Looming in the air

It's an intelligence
That I struggle to understand
Disguised
As nothing more
Then mental insanity

Have you ever had butterflies
Like a knot
Fluttering around in your stomach?

Imagine walking around with that...
The constant feeling
That something bad is going to happen
Or already has happened.

Everyone says they wish
They could have a sixth sense
Something to provide them with clarity

I wish I didn't have one.

If you asked me when I was 5
If I was going to be a girl
Dressed head to toe in black
Driving myself into an abyss of isolation
I would have said you're crazy

But part of me thinks even when I was 5
I would understand why
I would become a boundary pushing
System breaking teen
Waiting on the rest of the world to catch up to me

Tender heart to broken heart
I was wrapped in the charge
of righting the wrongs
and wronging the rights
A perfect storm of opposition

I'm grown up now,
And I wear bright colored shirts
And Let the world take care of its own karma
But I still wear black on my well polished nails.

The truth is, once you're a rebel, you never really aren't one
You just fade into the monotony of life just like everyone else
But you know that when life sparks you

You're right back to a time where the world has done you wrong.

I dip my toes
Into the shore of the abyss
A rush of cold
As you greet my pink painted feet

I become bold as you draw me outward
Knees, hips, chest, head
My legs become non-existent, weightless
The power of your waves crash over me
One by one

Under, over, intensely still
I run as fast as I can
But am slowed by your hold
Sand becomes puddy
As it grasps at my feet

I stay out with you as long as I can
Until Mother says I have to come wash up
I float on my stomach
Allowing soley you to push me to shore
This is a large effort for you
As your body recoils like the fading sun.

I shed a tear of salty sea water as I leave you behind
But with a whisper you remind me
You’ll be right here
Watching over me and waiting
For my return in the morning.

In response to “Torso of Air” by Ocean Voung

Scary, yet somehow tender
Black absorbs all light
Dark is comforting
To the person who is truly night
Herself
Bright. Light. Hurts.
Yet, it draws her
Light creates her shadow
But the reflection of her shape
Is not that of her body
But of the soul she had forgotten she had
As she looks closer
Connecting with the light
She knows
It’s waiting for her return
Because she, who is darkness
Is also light.

The moon’s light covers the long distance
Between my heart and yours
As bright a light as the prospect
Of burning our hearts together
Broken, then mended, now broken again

Tormenting passion causing friction
Broken plate, broken vase
Broken as the coffee table
Our bodies crashed into
The night passion took over our limbs
It’s ironic that the same passion that put us together
Tore us apart

We’re on two opposing sides of the moon
Just like we were on most matters
It’s devastating to begin breathing misery
When that miserable air used to be lovely
You ruined a part of my life
So please just stay
On the other side of the moon

You are brilliant
In the purist form
Incredible
You imitate
You evaluate carefully
You watch
With you calculating eyes

Pure black pupils
Surrounded by the beauty
Of blue-green irises.
Your charm as cunning
As a cobra
But only those
Who live with your eyes
Know how it truly feels
To be a victim of them

They seem to strip away
Every defense I thought I had
How is it fair
That you can see straight through me
When you get to wear a mask
And disguise yourself
From the rest of the world?

But be careful to not
Wear your non-existent heart on your sleeve
Because I know exactly who you are